Nurses Humor
Published Mar 30, 2003
gwenith, BSN, RN
3,755 Posts
Just had a run of these lately - you know the scene busy ward and ALWAYS at the least convenient time, you hear the buzzer - you go down to check out what the probllem is and the request from the mobile patient is.........
10. Nurse take these flowers out of my room I don't like the smell at night
9. My glass is empty
8. My catheter seems to be slowing down
7. Are these drops going faster than they were before? Pointing to drip.
5. I just want you to meet my family
4. My pillows need fluffing
3. There are small hairs on the bed ( from hairy male)
2. My feet are dry is there a podiatrist handy? (request 10 pm at night in a public hospital)
1. I just wanted to see if this call buton would work
Darlene K.
341 Posts
:chuckle
Brownms46
1 Article; 2,394 Posts
Could you hand me my phone?? Phone within their reach!
Can you turn off my TV...after showing them how the remote works, and putting it beside them.
Nurse...Nurse...Nurse! I can find my call bell. On the side rail where you tied it, and showed to them the last time they called!
Can you turn me?? When they can turn themselves,.. but feel better if you're there while they turn..
RNsweetie
153 Posts
:roll Those are great
nursedawn67, LPN
1,046 Posts
Blanket at patients chest..."pull my blanket up"
On-z-go-nurse
22 Posts
at 10pm, "What time is it?"
at 10:05 "What time is it?"
at 10:10 "What time is it?"
q 5 min all night long "What time is it?"
meownsmile, BSN, RN
2,532 Posts
What time does the doctor come in?
Ya right,, like i could even begin to guess the answer to that one.
RNonsense
415 Posts
tattooednursie, LVN
660 Posts
How about "Nurse! Where is my call light!" lol
another thing that peeves me is when a patient rings, and they can't reach the bell to turn it off for me when I'm half way out the door.
OrthoNutter
169 Posts
# 1 - Nurse, I can't find my teeth (said by patient with dentures in one hand and cup of steradent in the other)
# 2 - Do I have to wear these funny stockings (said at 2am by immediately post-op total hip replacement patient)
# 3 - Why are the walls blue and the ceilings burgundy?? (like I would know, or even care, about the logic behind the hospital's colour scheme)
# 4 - Is a Nokia 8210 ok to have switched on in the ward? (asks patient when he sees the sign, no mobile phones, plastered on every wall)
# 5 - Are you a real nurse? (no honey, I just come here for the fun)
# 6 - I'm going to sue this hospital, my operation caused me pain (said by total knee replacement patient immediately post-op where there had been no stuff ups...just routine post-TKR pain)
# 7 - That person's coughing too much, I don't want to be in the same room as a sick person (said by COAD patient, who is coughing and spluttering just as much with an existing chest infection)
# 8 - Why doesn't God like me? (said at 3am by bipolar patient who also has religious ideations from time to time....I wasn't even touching that one)
# 9 - The doctor said that I'd be able to walk just fine after the operation. Why do I have to use these thingies? (said by Day 1 post-op hip patient, talking about a pair of crutches)
# 10 - Honestly, I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't have been doing. (Said by recurrently dislocating THR patient after bending straight over at the hips to pick up a coin she dropped on the ground)
CCL"Babe", BSN, RN
234 Posts
"I've got a present for you" with a pleased smile as they hand you a full urinal.
Shamrock, BSN, RN
448 Posts
:chuckle :chuckle