Things nursing school FAILED to tell us

  1. Wouldn't it have been great if they told us this stuff in nursing school?

    NOTE: A LOT OF MINE WERE MEANT FOR LTC NURSES

    The human body is capable of holding 200 cups of H2O/coffee in your bladder....literally.

    We were always instructed "Your body needs sleep to heal, rest, ect...",yeah that's funny.

    Practicing sterile procedures for EVERYTHING is a waste of time(except catheters).

    Of the 40 pts I have, I know what all the side effects of their meds are(yeah, all 50 meds per pt!!!). Oh yeah, and I know the GENERIC-TRADE names too.

    Remember calcuating drip rates for G-tubes??? I don't.

    They won't tell you what a med-cocktail is in school.

    Anyone else wanna share???? :chuckle
  2. Visit Debbie_LPN profile page

    About Debbie_LPN

    Joined: Jan '05; Posts: 112; Likes: 31

    195 Comments

  3. by   VivaLasViejas
    More stuff they never told you about in nursing school........

    The amazing ability of drunk and/or drugged people to get out of four-point restraints despite being held down by eight full-grown adult human beings

    How much poop one little, 80-lb. elderly lady can produce when the Dulcolax kicks in

    The incredible variety of colors different bacteria bring out in the sputum of an ordinary COPD'er

    The distance a two-year-old with gastroenteritis can projectile-vomit

    How many really disgusting aromas you'll encounter during the course of your career.

  4. by   A476
    I THINK THAT ALL OF THAT IS NEED TO KNOW INFORMATION. HOW DARE THEY NOT SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT STUFF. WHEN I START SCHOOL I WILL HAVE ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS ANSWERED BEFORE I SET FOOT IN A CLINICAL . BUT MAYBE NOT. I HOPE I NEVER RUN INTO PROJECTILE VOMMITTING OR TOO MUCH POOP.
  5. by   madwife2002
    How fast a 7yr old boy can run when he has to have sutures

    How to clean up a confused patient who has used poop as body paint

    How to remove a sweet old lady who has fastened her teeth into your arm

    How not to laugh when sweet old man's family are shocked that he now uses foul language.

    How not to laugh when a 90 year old streaks into the private wing and shocks all residents

    How to be diplomatic when the wife and the mistress turn up at the same time

    How to be diplomatic when a clients husband blames you for the STD he passes onto his pregnant wife!!

    How to keep straight face when newly delivered mum tells you it is not her husbands child when he out of room.

    How not to slap a patients face when he pinches your bottom whilst you are sorting out his IV machine
  6. by   FranEMTnurse
    The difference between nursing school and the real world. WHAT AN AMAZING DIFFERENCE!!!!
  7. by   Debbie_LPN
    Here's a couple more after my night at work tonight:

    How not to laugh when an escapee gets his/her wheelchair stuck in a muddy ditch across the street.

    How not to laugh when a resident says "I'm going home" and another resident in a wheelchair yells "You stupid a**, you're not going anywhere! You're stuck in this hole like the rest of us"(while 3 family members walk by)!

    Not to turn red when a patient who is pleasuring himself moans and says inappropriate things while his roomate is staring at him.

    AND FINALLY MY FAVORITE:
    They do not teach you what to do if a combative resident hits another resident in the head with her cane and says "That'll knock some sense in ya!".

    ROTFL
  8. by   dbsn00
    Quote from Debbie_LPN
    Here's a couple more after my night at work tonight:

    How not to laugh when an escapee gets his/her wheelchair stuck in a muddy ditch across the street.

    How not to laugh when a resident says "I'm going home" and another resident in a wheelchair yells "You stupid a**, you're not going anywhere! You're stuck in this hole like the rest of us"(while 3 family members walk by)!

    Not to turn red when a patient who is pleasuring himself moans and says inappropriate things while his roomate is staring at him.

    AND FINALLY MY FAVORITE:
    They do not teach you what to do if a combative resident hits another resident in the head with her cane and says "That'll knock some sense in ya!".

    ROTFL

  9. by   kea6783
    bump please!
  10. by   NurseJaime29
    :roll you guys are too funny!!
  11. by   AMY30
    Quote from A476
    I THINK THAT ALL OF THAT IS NEED TO KNOW INFORMATION. HOW DARE THEY NOT SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT STUFF. WHEN I START SCHOOL I WILL HAVE ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS ANSWERED BEFORE I SET FOOT IN A CLINICAL . BUT MAYBE NOT. I HOPE I NEVER RUN INTO PROJECTILE VOMMITTING OR TOO MUCH POOP.
    Honey, I just finished my third year of my BScN. I am here to tell you that poop is everywhere all the time so hold your breath and get used to it.

    For instance, I worked in a LTC in between 2nd and 3rd year. One guy had to be supped every 3 days cause he didn't go on his own. Well I have him on the sit-to-stand and am just pulling down his brief when he starts to go. Had poop down my arms, legs and shoes - cleaned up as best I could and finished my shift that way.

    What is really funny is that you get used to it, not to long ago I was having a quick snack and a friend needed help. Here I was washing an enormous amount of poop off of this little old lady and realized that I was still chewing the last bite I had taken - and I wasn't grossed out

    Now, even when family has complaints, one of my first questions is "When was your last BM and what was it like - hard, soft, colour?
  12. by   Nurse2B2005
    I'm hoping to bump this thread up - during our pinning ceremony, we are going to give a thank you speech to instructors. We thought we would make it on a lighter note by sharing things they forgot to teach us in nursing school that we had to figure out during our preceptorship. We were able to brainstorm a few, but I'd love some more input from you all. Thanks in advance!!!
  13. by   grace90
    Sometimes when I have a quiet moment at work I wonder just what the h*** I learned in nursing school anyway... I run into so much stuff that I feel like I know nothing about. I learn something new everyday, such as...

    how much pain medicine a young female patient with abdominal pain can have on board before the patient down the hall doesn't hear her yelling anymore

    how far you can hold a phone from your ear and still hear that arrogant doctor yelling

    not to talk on the phone while giving IV push meds

    that the doctor you paged 4 times in the last 2 hours that STILL hasn't called back WILL call back as soon as you start a catheterization, sterile dressing change or code brown clean-up

    that intestinal fistulas stink

    just how bad GI bleeds stink

    I know there's a lot more but I can't think of 'em right now!
  14. by   DutchgirlRN
    What I didn't learn in Nursing School is that I would become the neighborhood doctor. I hate that !!!! The first time it happened to me I was 6 months pregnant and my neighbor came in with her child and said "does this look like german measles to you". YIKES ! Get out of my house !!!!

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