Things nursing school FAILED to tell us

Nurses Humor

Published

Wouldn't it have been great if they told us this stuff in nursing school?

NOTE: A LOT OF MINE WERE MEANT FOR LTC NURSES

The human body is capable of holding 200 cups of H2O/coffee in your bladder....literally.

We were always instructed "Your body needs sleep to heal, rest, ect...",yeah that's funny.

Practicing sterile procedures for EVERYTHING is a waste of time(except catheters).

Of the 40 pts I have, I know what all the side effects of their meds are(yeah, all 50 meds per pt!!!). Oh yeah, and I know the GENERIC-TRADE names too.

Remember calcuating drip rates for G-tubes??? I don't.

They won't tell you what a med-cocktail is in school.

Anyone else wanna share???? :chuckle

I work in LTC and no one, NO ONE ever told me that my entire career as a nurse would revolve around BM.

Did you have one? NO? Did you take your bowel meds? Maybe we should increase the bowel meds? How many days has it been? Do you need a supp? Get in line! Yes? Color? Consistency? Amount? Frequency? Should we hold those bowel meds? Mabye we should change to PRN?

Glamorous it most definitely ain't!! ;)

I work in LTC and no one, NO ONE ever told me that my entire career as a nurse would revolve around BM.

Did you have one? NO? Did you take your bowel meds? Maybe we should increase the bowel meds? How many days has it been? Do you need a supp? Get in line! Yes? Color? Consistency? Amount? Frequency? Should we hold those bowel meds? Mabye we should change to PRN?

Glamorous it most definitely ain't!! ;)

:D:lol2::D

I had a bit of an epiphany one night when I was working in ICU - I had an elderly woman turned on her side, cleaning her up from a 'blowout'. As soon as I got her cleaned up, the poor thing would cough, and out would shoot some more. This went on for awhile, and I was thinking "Oh, please stop - cause I need to check my other patient who is having bloody stools."

It dawned on me, as I was standing there, that I'd gone to school a long time, and was getting paid a lot of money - to be a pooper-scooper.

I've also worked in LTC and understand what you're talking about.:D

Specializes in ER/SICU/Med-Surg/Ortho/Trauma/Flight.

That a 6 y/o boy who threatens to pee on your er treatment room floor if you give him that shot, will actually get up after the shot and pee all over your floor, and the janitor or housekeeping will take there break right at that time and gues what youll get left holding the mop. LOL-Not

Honey, I just finished my third year of my BScN. I am here to tell you that poop is everywhere all the time so hold your breath and get used to it.

For instance, I worked in a LTC in between 2nd and 3rd year. One guy had to be supped every 3 days cause he didn't go on his own. Well I have him on the sit-to-stand and am just pulling down his brief when he starts to go. Had poop down my arms, legs and shoes - cleaned up as best I could and finished my shift that way. :rolleyes:

What is really funny is that you get used to it, not to long ago I was having a quick snack and a friend needed help. Here I was washing an enormous amount of poop off of this little old lady and realized that I was still chewing the last bite I had taken - and I wasn't grossed out :rotfl:

Now, even when family has complaints, one of my first questions is "When was your last BM and what was it like - hard, soft, colour?

OMG THIS IS SOOOO TRUE! Congrats for letting ppl who dont realise know cos this is the reality!

AND when u are at school the most definately do not tell u that the whole rest of ur career will be i think 75% poop!!!

honey, i just finished my third year of my bscn. i am here to tell you that poop is everywhere all the time so hold your breath and get used to it.

for instance, i worked in a ltc in between 2nd and 3rd year. one guy had to be supped every 3 days cause he didn't go on his own. well i have him on the sit-to-stand and am just pulling down his brief when he starts to go. had poop down my arms, legs and shoes - cleaned up as best i could and finished my shift that way. :rolleyes:

what is really funny is that you get used to it, not to long ago i was having a quick snack and a friend needed help. here i was washing an enormous amount of poop off of this little old lady and realized that i was still chewing the last bite i had taken - and i wasn't grossed out :rotfl:

now, even when family has complaints, one of my first questions is "when was your last bm and what was it like - hard, soft, colour?

omg this is soooo true! congrats for letting ppl who dont realise know cos this is the reality!

and when u are at school the most definately do not tell u that the whole rest of ur career will be i think 75% poop!!!:yeah:

Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

How to cope with a code situation. :redbeathe

How to comfort a family of a dying patient. :cry:

How to give post-mortem care- for cryin' out loud, the patient care techs knew more and had to teach me. Ugh!!! :bugeyes:

Here's a thought guys... I'm an LPN student and pretty much I figured this much out. How about nursing school did not teach us (well me anyways) how to handle doctors over the phone. I mean, what ya supposed to do when you have a suggestion that the doc doesn't agree with u, but your idea will benefit the pt?

:D:lol2::uhoh3::):typing:yeah::nurse::nurse:

Patient comes way, way, way from the back of the unit to the nursing station carrying his urinal and tells you the insurance company pays you to dump it. :bow:

The patient that doesnt want to be in a semi-private room because there are sick people in here. :banghead:

2 pleasantly confused patients who somehow convinced each other that they were rich and I was the maid. At least they invited me to the beach and to their bungalo for drinks. :smokin:

[quote name= 2 pleasantly confused patients who somehow convinced each other that they were rich and I was the maid. At least they invited me to the beach and to their bungalo for drinks. :smokin:[/quote]

*Snort* Now that's funny:chuckle

That the stable patient who tells you they feel like they are going to die....will:(

Specializes in ICU.

how not to laugh out loud when the family really believe that their loved one can have a brain transplant and then be 'cured'

That the stable patient who tells you they feel like they are going to die....will:(

The power of the human mind and will is truly amazing. :twocents:

+ Add a Comment