Stupid things that nurses say - page 2

I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely... Read More

  1. by   orthonurse55
    Quote from VivaLasViejas
    Oh, I wouldn't say that was the most stupid thing ever......lots of nurses let things slip past their filters that are downright offensive.

    Of course, I would never say anything like this to a patient's granddaughter:

    DGD to nurse: "Grandpa's not doing very well tonight. His doctors told me he's at death's door."
    Nurse: "I'm sure sorry. Hope they can pull him through."

    now THAT sounds like something I would say!!!
  2. by   TopazLover
    I can't think of too many terrible things I have said. I think that means there were too many to note.

    I have been out to much with my son and had the waitress talk to us as if we were married. We were all embarrassed.

    I have found myself babysitting and talking to the child as if it were my dog.
    "Leave it" my dog understands. Great command. My dog will drop anything when I say that. The child not so much. I think I even once asked him to "sit". Good think I caught it before I got to down, stay, and roll over.
  3. by   UTVOL3
    As a 18 year old patient care tech on a rehab floor-

    Me, bending down to look under hospital bed "Where's your other shoe?"

    Patient: "I only have one leg!"

    :uhoh21:
  4. by   DizzyLizzyNurse
    Quote from UTVOL3
    As a 18 year old patient care tech on a rehab floor-

    Me, bending down to look under hospital bed "Where's your other shoe?"

    Patient: "I only have one leg!"

    :uhoh21:
    I was a brand spanking new 19 year old CNA still training on my floor. A resident went out and had her leg amputated. She came back and the nurses and CNAs were doing the admission stuff. The CNA I was training with was getting her weight. No one could understand why she had lost all this weight at the hospital. I didn't want to be a smart @$$ so I was standing in the corner keeping my mouth shut while they reweighed her. Finally I spoke up and said, "Um, how much does a leg weigh?"

    I had worried they'd be mad, but they laughed and laughed (as did the resident ). I worked there for 10 years and left after I got my RN, but the CNA I trained with was still there and would tell the story to new CNAs every once in a while lol.
  5. by   OnlybyHisgraceRN
    Thanks guys for posting. I know I'm not the only one. I have another funny for you all.
    Last week I offered a nurse and a doctor a mint. The nurse accepted the mint, the doctor stated " no thanks" .
    Me: " It is always the people who really need a mint that refuses"
    I honestly made a general statement, but since the doc refused a mint, I hope she didn't think it was directed towards her.
    I'm sure her breath smells fine.
  6. by   SummitRN
    Not nursing but...

    Lady: OH IT HURTS SO BAD I CAN'T EVEN LOOK! MY ANKLE!
    I expose her ankle which is the most gloriously dislocated ankle fracture I've ever seen. (angulated 30deg and heavily translated ~3" anterior... it was unreal) I hear myself let out a whistle like a cat-call.
    Lady: DON'T WHISTLE AT IT! OH GOD HOW BAD IS IT THAT YOU WHISTLED AT IT!
    Me: Uh... we will take great care of you and get you down off of here.
    Lady: OH NO IT MUST BE AWFUL!
    Me: Uh... would you like some pain meds?
    Lady: *Glares* YES!!!!!!!!!!!! $#*&@$!!!!
  7. by   That Guy
    Short version of my story is I accidentally told a pt I did not want her "to go down on me" when I really meant fall down on the floor. Oh I was dying trying to get out of that room I was so embarassed.
  8. by   CelticGoddess
    I was trimming the fingernails of a one of my diabetic residents, and chatting with him. All of the sudden, I told him "I can't trim your toe nails because you are a diabetic". Problem is, he is a double amputee. Fortunately, he also has one heckuva great sense of humor.
  9. by   OnlybyHisgraceRN
    Quote from orthonurse55
    now THAT sounds like something I would say!!!
    I just caught on to that!!!! Too freakin funny. I would totally say that !!!
  10. by   OnlybyHisgraceRN
    Quote from That Guy
    Short version of my story is I accidentally told a pt I did not want her "to go down on me" when I really meant fall down on the floor. Oh I was dying trying to get out of that room I was so embarassed.
    Too funny!!!!

    I have another one: When I was in my mother/baby rotation I had to assess a women postpartum. This was my first assessment so ofcourse my CI was watching me like a hawk.
    I start with the head and so on so fourth.
    My CI then prompts me to assess her breast.
    I look unhook the gown to assess the womens' breast and they are HUGE then I loudly say: " Oh, wow... they are engorged!!!!!"
  11. by   Ruthfarmer
    In the midst of an unpleasant procedure, I heard myself say, "This will feel so good when it quits hurting."

    The patient half chuckled, then roared, "I sure as hell hope so!"
  12. by   digitiminimi
    I was in a Pt's room (in a nursing home) and looked at some photographs of people framed on her wall.

    Me: "Aw, your kids look just like you!"

    Totally acceptable in any other situation; however, this facility was exclusively for former priests and nuns!
  13. by   OnlybyHisgraceRN
    Quote from digitiminimi
    I was in a Pt's room (in a nursing home) and looked at some photographs of people framed on her wall.

    Me: "Aw, your kids look just like you!"

    Totally acceptable in any other situation; however, this facility was exclusively for former priests and nuns!
    Wowsers.

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