Nurses Humor
Published Feb 7, 2005
You are reading page 56 of Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...
Eastcoast24
10 Posts
Oooh I have another funny story... I had an elderly female patient who was suffering from active visual and auditory hallucinations, poor thing kept me entertained all night... At one point a coworker and I were cleaning her up and the pt looks at the other nurse with wide eyes and says, "Oh my! What are you going to do with all of those condoms!" We couldn't help it but we looked at each other and burst out laughing...
rph3664
1,714 Posts
Maybe that was a bit of revenge for all those nasty diapers she had to change?
Primie2
16 Posts
These stories are so funny. Glad I am choosing to become a nurse.
Pianist8
2 Posts
I recall a rather comical story from many years back.....An ederly woman who had recently been released from the hospital was a given a Rx for Phenergan suppositories for n/v. After a day or so she put in a call to the physician and when we returned her call she stated most sincerely,... " I am so sorry to bother you, but I am having trouble with the suppositories. I don't mind that they are so cold, but the foil part really scratches my rectum and hurts. Is there anyway the Dr. could prescribe a pill instead?" LOLOLOLOLO
***Because of this, I always remember that just because something might be common sense or seem logical to us in the nursing field; others, may see things completely differently!!!
nightcrawler2be
3 Posts
Many years ago when I was a young nurse I was working the adult psyche floor well there was a man who liked a younger female patient on the unit, in order to keep them seperate we had to keep a strict eye on both of them at all times. Well upon doing rounds we looked for her and she was sitting in her room brushing her hair, but now we had to find the guy and we tore up the unit looking for him. Well I eventually went to his room and heard the shower going as I drew back the curtain there he was fully dressed with the shower on full blast and a cigarette in his mouth. well not thinking much more about it I shut the curtain and as I was walking back into his room I hear him rrply, Excuse me u gotta a light?" ONly in nursing :)
NurseLil
I have a couple funny stories...
Not too long ago I had an elderly male alcoholic, admitted with acute pancreatitis. He was on the alcohol protocol and had just had 10 mg Valium IV, and you absolutely couldn't keep him on the floor, so here he goes IV in his leg, tubing taped to his pants, downstairs to smoke singing "On the road again." Oh my word... You couldn't help but laugh.
Just last night I had a male pt. with schizophrenia. So, I'm at the nurses station when he comes over the call system and says "I need some help in here! I'm having a baby! I'm having a miscarriage!" I was like :hdvwl:yep, that my patient. Needless to say, I made sure he got his Lithium!
LLRNWashington
I was working eveing shift one day and thought I smelled smoke. Another nurse said I was crazy. Then we're walking down the hall and he say's I smell smoke. We run into the men's bathroom and there's a surgical pt lighting up still hooked to his IV pole. I said "you can't smoke inside the hospital. You have to go to the smoking area." The patient told me "I know, but it's cold and rainy outside. It's much warmer in here" as he was smiling. REALLY!!!
San2003
13 Posts
When I was a CNA we had a patient who passed away. Any who I was told the family was not coming in. The supervisor was going on a break and I told her I would watch for the funeral people and direct them on where to exit with the body. It was a 3-11 shift and it was about time to serve dinner we had residents all over the place. A man comes of the elevator dressed in a suit with a trench coat asking for the lady who had passed. I told him where she was and instructed him that he would need to bring his car to the rear entrance because it was about time to serve dinner and we could not clear the dining areas, he would have to take the body out the rear entrance. The man looked at me as though I was from Mars! Turns out he was the son and decided to stop by before she went to the funeral home. OMG Imagine someone telling you that you had to remove your mothers dead body and drive her to the funeral home yourself. I was so embarrassed I hid from that gentleman until I knew he was gone. It was awful!
Student-Nurse-Mouse
7 Posts
I've spent the last few days reading these stories, so hilarious, some tragic.
I'm a third year student nurse in the uk. I also work for an agency linked to the NHS as a care assistant. I also had a job as a hca in a private nursing home, and when I was just 17 I had a job as a part time ward waitress at a private hospital. I've managed to get few stories over my short years, most of them are down to my own stupidity than things patients have done.
Here's a few tings that have stuck in my mind over the years.
I have a few other stories but thse are the ones that come to mind first.
Keep posting stories, they are fantastic
pamelalayn
45 Posts
The Doctor asks "Are you incontinent?"
Patient replies "No I'm from Yonkers"
mommaNoNurse
6 Posts
Normally I don't reply, I just read and laugh, but this wasn't funny .
iNurseUK, RN
348 Posts
I heard this tale from a lecturer on the Oncology course I am doing.
A sprightly old gentleman in his 70's came in for his pre-treatment assessment. During the course of this he was advised to use prophylactic protection if engaging in intimate relations with his wife as the treatment agents can linger in body fluids and are toxic.
The old gent turns up for his treatment and the nurse asks "So Mr X, was everything explained to you about your treatment?"
"Oh yes Nurse," says the chap "I've even got my condom on"