Humor For A Friday Afternoon

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

in the beginning god covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and

spinach, green, yellow, and red vegetables of all kinds; so man and

woman would live long and healthy lives.

then using god's bountiful gifts, satan created ben and jerry's and

krispy kreme. and satan said, "you want hot fudge with that?" and

man said, "yes!" and woman said, "i'll have another withsprinkles."

and lo and behold they gained 10 pounds.

and god created the healthful yogurt that woman might

keep the figure that man found so fair.

and satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from

the cane, and combined them. and woman went from size 2 to size 10.

so god said, "try my fresh green salad."

and satan presented crumbled bleu cheese dressing and garlic toast

on the side and man and woman unfastened their belts following the

repast.

god then said, "i have sent you heart healthy vegetables

and olive oil in which to cook them."

and satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp, butter dipped

lobster chunks and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own

platter. and man's cholesterol went through the roof.

god then brought forth running shoes so that his children

might lose those extra pounds.

and satan came forth with a cable tv with remote control so man

would not have to toil changing the channels. and man and woman

laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing

stretch jogging suits.

then god brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat

and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

then satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy

center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats and added

copious quantities of salt and man put on more pounds.

god then gave lean beef so that man might consume

fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

and satan created mcdonald's and the 99-cent double cheeseburger.

then lucifer said, "you want fries with that?" and man replied,"yes!

and super size' em!" and satan said, "it is good." and man wentinto

cardiac arrest.

god sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

and satan created hmos.

amen

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Too funny, Fran!! Thanks for sharing!! :rotfl:

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

Fran, you have too much time on your hands. :chuckle

[leslie :-D]

this one will be copied and hung on my fridge. thanks fran

[ginger1023]

lol... :chuckle ...I enjoyed that for laughter is the best medicine...I listened to the radio the other day and they said that LAUGHTER actually is a therapeutic measure to prevent heart attacks... :rotfl:

THANKS AGAIN :balloons:

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Fran, you have too much time on your hands. :chuckle

Ya made me laugh out loud with that remark!!!:rotfl:

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

lol... :chuckle ...I enjoyed that for laughter is the best medicine...I listened to the radio the other day and they said that LAUGHTER actually is a therapeutic measure to prevent heart attacks... :rotfl:

THANKS AGAIN :balloons:

It's true. Why do ya think I love to post funnies and love to laugh??? Jnette# 2:chuckle

[nursebedlam]

yup l enjoyed that one too :rotfl:

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

I'm glad everyone enjoyed it. I thought it had a rather catchy ending.:chuckle

[ginger1023]

that was to funny ...my grandson asked me the other day

"Grandma where can you find a dog with no legs"..I kept thinking ..my grandson started to laugh..:chuckle

"grandma THINK ..you'll find him right where someone left him"...:rotfl:

from the mouth of babes....

[dansamy]

How many calories does belly-laughing out loud burn? :rotfl:

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

How many calories does belly-laughing out loud burn? :rotfl:

Ya know? I never thought to figure that out.