Funny Or Horror

Nurses Humor

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When I first started in my present job as a lpn with 1 yr of service under my belt and my first time male catherterization I thought this should be so simple. armed with my RN supervisor at my side and my supples I was instructed to cathterize a male resident. This seemed so easy, little did I know that this male resident had a prostate problem. The catherterization went so smoothly until the resident started to bleed profusciously. OMG! What do I do, well all I could think of was the first aid technique to stop the bleeding... so what did i do but think of balling this mans member up in my hands to help stem the flow of blood, I was mortified, of course this caused a rukus of laughter with the telling , and the bleeding did stop, but OMG! what a sight it was to see me trying to stem the flow of blood by balling up this resident's member and balls to stop the bleeding.. what a moron.:D

do u make house calls???

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Specializes in ER.

Yeah, right, like I as a nurse would take out this hard earned catheter, and then try coming at the pt with an even larger one. Don't think I can duck fast enough. I say leave the original in and call the doc, let them break the news- that's what they get the big bucks for.

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Originally posted by canoehead

Yeah, right, like I as a nurse would take out this hard earned catheter, and then try coming at the pt with an even larger one. Don't think I can duck fast enough. I say leave the original in and call the doc, let them break the news- that's what they get the big bucks for.

I agree canoehead it would not be a nurse who diagnosed and treated catheter trauma, it would be a urologist, guess I didn't make that clear in my original post. :)

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Specializes in CVOR,CNOR,NEURO,TRAUMA,TRANSPLANTS.

Im sure your thankful it wasnt a snakebite now arent you.

zoe

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Zoe,

Funny Funny Funny. That was quick wit. I can just picture it. Yikes:eek:

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Owch! a snake just bit me! "nurse nurse!!!"

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now dayray, just what would you have me do with a snake bite?! :-)

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

ummm ouch...and i am not male. i vote HORROR.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I vote hilarious...but I'm an ER nurse!

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ouch...

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horror but definetly humor now that its over. Reminds me of a pt last year who at the spry age of 92 and loss of senelity decided he should be circumcised......... so he tied a rubber band to his foreskin. His family discovered his condition when he complained of pain. No kidding really happened! They brought him in , unfortunetly he had to have an amputation of that particular body part. I was the unlucky nurse who was sent to cath him (I think I was set up) on a later admission. I wasn't privy to the story and imagine my surprise when I couldn't find it.. at all. They had amputated and placed a shunt to his bowel . Never saw anything like it and I'm sure it showed! Its so good we can laugh at ourselves.

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a hundred years ago i started working at our local hospital. even though i had been inserting male caths for quite a while at my old employment the policy at the new hospitals was on men cath men(I'm not kidding!). Well as luck would have it one evening we had no male personel working. No qualified orderlies no "male nurses" not even a lab worker(remember this is a hundred years ago). In this situation we had to call the "on call resident". Man was he happy. It turns out he had never done a cath. So I gathered his equipment (a hundred years ago remember) and we marched on down to this poor mans room. After setting up all of the equipment the res looked at me and said "now what" the look in the 22 year old pts eyes will stay with me for the rest of my life. I told him to take the cotton balls and cleanse the area. He picked up the cottom ball with one hand and the uh area to be cathed in the other and holding on to the area for dear life began to SCRUB the "area" with the cotton ball. "Dr!!" i yelled while hiding my name badge," pretend it's yours!" By the way if the on call res was a woman she could do the cath just not female nurses. one last thing When getting instruction on how to cath a male the supervisor giving the instruction (polished leather shoes 3/4 cuffed sleeves and a cap starched so firmly im sure it was a deadly weapon) told us to bring along an emisis basin (a hundred years ago everything was stainless steel, bedpans,urinal and emisis basins). why the emisis basin you ask? In case somebody got an erection all you had to do was knock the basin to the floor and the noise would scare the erection out of them.

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