Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
"Amputate between ears."
:nmbrn::hhmth::lghmky::hhmth::hehe:And to think they put us nurses down for documenting incorrectly????:hehe::hehe:
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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I think at the temp of 200, one should flip the pt over, and baste liberally

--Barbara

:yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::D:D:D:D:D:D
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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
betadine douche q hs, with no stop date, and unfortunately this md signed the monthly orders without a d/c to this order, and the staff, had been doing this douche for one year, i took over as rn nurse manager and discovered this order and the fact that of course this woman had lost her normal flora and was left with this horrible smelling green drainage. i arranged transport right to this md's office and made him do a vag culture and let him smell what we dealt with, also told him he better d/c that order, and never trusted his monthly orders again, i found same and similiar mistakes on his just signing his name fast on rounds to the nursing home. not funny but it happened.
Goog 4 U. He got the right nurse that day.
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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
JUst another RN story.....

I did home care for 11 years and pt. education is a large part of being a visiting nurse. I heard that a new grad who was a RN had told a pt on ATB's to PREVENT A YEAST INFECTION BY SPREADING YOGURT ON HER lady parts. (lol) (INstead of eating it to promote normal body flora. VERY ODD BUT TRUE.

I've had that done to me when I had a superinfection from a doc earlier placing me on a weak antibiotic that caused it.
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Specializes in Staff nurse.
I've had that done to me when I had a superinfection from a doc earlier placing me on a weak antibiotic that caused it.

Yes, just make sure you wait until it is room temperature, or you will regret it. AND make sure it is plain yogurt.

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Specializes in PICU, surgical post-op.

Where I work these days (which happens to be a ship of the coast of Liberia, which is maybe why people are so nice), we have standard post-op order sets. It's a two-sided form and the surgeon checks the ones he wants. I recently admitted a post-op back to the ward and was transcribing the orders. Flipped the paper over to find it totally blank with a little note scrawled in our chief medical officer's handwriting:

Hi nurses!

This one doesn't seem to have printed out on the back. I'm sorry I'm too lazy to go get another form since I already filled the front of this one out. Let's just say standard 'back of the sheet' orders and QD wound care, shall we? I'll take the staples out in a week or so.

Thanks!

Dr. Gary.

That man is a gem.

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Specializes in Hospice, Palliative Care, Gero, dementia.

Not an order, but in a note. This is in a VA hospital, and was about one of our Viet Nam era vets who went off to live in the woods (I mean literally!) He had been living out in the mountains in the woods for the past 10 years until intractable n/v brought him in to our hospice unit with cancer so widespread it was hard to determine the primary.

In the SW admission note, under source of income was "occasional pot farming."

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Specializes in Utilization Review/Case Management.

Originally Posted by ArmyKitten viewpost.gif

We have a staff doc that is nearing 105 and now finds his daily joy in writing orders in the most creative manor possible. His latest creation is writing "squeezies to legs" instead of SCDs. This is the same doc that draws a smiley face on the steristrips of every surgical patient he has. Last week I noticed that not only did he draw a smiley face on a lap appy pt, but he made a speech bubble on the steristrip next to it with the word "ouch" written in. Oh my.

Originally Posted by Franemtnurse:

:lol_hitti

:hehe:Sounds like the old boy has entered his second or third childhood. Love it.!!!:yeah:

I think I know this doc. If it is the same one (99% sure) He is a pediatric surgeon who is on the general surgical team now. He didn't do lap-appy's either, it's just his incision was just that small (couldn't have used a scope with only one incision). And always wrote "ouch" on his dressings (probably a habit from working with so many kids). He was an interesting character for sure! He had a lot of interesting experiences and stories, unfortunately he always wanted to tell them during shift change or med pass, with a lot of details:cool:. A lot of the younger nurses didn't appreciate the experience he had, and would avoid him. That's too bad, because I learned a lot from him. He treated us like part of the team, unlike many of the surgical staff who thought we were there to "serve" them.

BTW he was probably in his 70s, still active-duty military and refused a promotion that would take him away from his patients.

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Specializes in ED/trauma.
Originally Posted by ArmyKitten viewpost.gif

We have a staff doc that is nearing 105 and now finds his daily joy in writing orders in the most creative manor possible. His latest creation is writing "squeezies to legs" instead of SCDs. This is the same doc that draws a smiley face on the steristrips of every surgical patient he has. Last week I noticed that not only did he draw a smiley face on a lap appy pt, but he made a speech bubble on the steristrip next to it with the word "ouch" written in. Oh my.

Originally Posted by Franemtnurse:

:lol_hitti

:hehe:Sounds like the old boy has entered his second or third childhood. Love it.!!!:yeah:

I think I know this doc. If it is the same one (99% sure) He is a pediatric surgeon who is on the general surgical team now. He didn't do lap-appy's either, it's just his incision was just that small (couldn't have used a scope with only one incision). And always wrote "ouch" on his dressings (probably a habit from working with so many kids). He was an interesting character for sure! He had a lot of interesting experiences and stories, unfortunately he always wanted to tell them during shift change or med pass, with a lot of details:cool:. A lot of the younger nurses didn't appreciate the experience he had, and would avoid him. That's too bad, because I learned a lot from him. He treated us like part of the team, unlike many of the surgical staff who thought we were there to "serve" them.

BTW he was probably in his 70s, still active-duty military and refused a promotion that would take him away from his patients.

LOVE IT! I can only imagine how great hospitals would be if more doctors (and even nurses!) were like this! Thanks for brightening my mood! :clown:

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The ' Three H' enema would be related to the "soap 'n water" enema we were taught about, and that was only 16 years ago! 500mls of warm water, 2 to 4 squirts of soap, and a funnel attached to a tube to administer it with. You inserted the tube, held the funnel as high as you could (using a chair if you were really short) and poured the mixture into the funnel from a jug.

They did work, too! :yeah:

we did pretty much the same thing only we didn't have a funnel we had a bag, similar to a tube feeding bag, only larger and we would hang it on a IV pole. Alot easier if you were doing it alone.

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Originally Posted by trudlebug viewpost.gif

Originally Posted by
ArmyKitten
viewpost.gif
We have a staff doc that is nearing 105 and now finds his daily joy in writing orders in the most creative manor possible. His latest creation is writing "squeezies to legs" instead of SCDs. This is the same doc that draws a smiley face on the steristrips of every surgical patient he has. Last week I noticed that not only did he draw a smiley face on a lap appy pt, but he made a speech bubble on the steristrip next to it with the word "ouch" written in. Oh my.

Originally Posted by Franemtnurse:

:lol_hitti

:hehe:Sounds like the old boy has entered his second or third childhood. Love it.!!!
:yeah:

I think I know this doc. If it is the same one (99% sure) He is a pediatric surgeon who is on the general surgical team now. He didn't do lap-appy's either, it's just his incision was just that small (couldn't have used a scope with only one incision). And always wrote "ouch" on his dressings (probably a habit from working with so many kids). He was an interesting character for sure! He had a lot of interesting experiences and stories, unfortunately he always wanted to tell them during shift change or med pass, with a lot of details:cool:. A lot of the younger nurses didn't appreciate the experience he had, and would avoid him. That's too bad, because I learned a lot from him. He treated us like part of the team, unlike many of the surgical staff who thought we were there to "serve" them.

BTW he was probably in his 70s, still active-duty military and refused a promotion that would take him away from his patients.

was he Patch Adams???

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Specializes in ER, Med/Surg.

"Patient may have 2% milk."

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