Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg- Risk Mgmt.

This week a doctor wrote "propofol holiday for this patient 30 minutes every shift" The patient is miserable and certainly won't think turning off the propofol is any kind of 'holiday'!

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Specializes in Pedatrics, Child Protection.
One of my favorites...... 3H enema.... High, hot, and hell of alot.

For the chronically constipated pt, I guess.

Used to give the 5 H enema: High, hot, helluva lot, hold it 'til it hurts!

Thank god I'm in peds now!!

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Specializes in Pedatrics, Child Protection.

my sister-in-law received this prescription from her family doctor a few years ago, and keeps it in her purse:

2 week vacation in maui prn.

for a rather violent patient, a physician wrote:

2 short blasts with fire extinguisher prn until empty. after that, use other end until compliant.

fortunately he was just kidding and wrote it on a blank order sheet. kept that one with me for those days when you wonder why you came to work.

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This really isn't an order, but a while back, a male patient was recorded as "female" in the computer, and the next day, the doctor wrote in huge letters, "HE has a member!!!!!!!"

lol

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Case Management, also OR/OB.

Being in hospital case management, we get orders like these:

1. Get pt an apartment (no money nor ability to get any, any time soon).

2. Help pt get washer and dryer for his house

3. Call parents, and make them take care of pt.(ok, I'll get right on that)???

4. Patient needs new shoes (I do too, will ya buy me some)

I mean ... we're Case Management, not Mother to the World!

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This wasnt in a chart, it was on a prescription that my husband's doctor wrote.

My husband had a prostate infection and the doc told him he needed to have as many orgasms as possible to help clear the infection. (or was it epididimytis? it was in that area anyway lol) so my husband tells the doc" oh sure my wife will believe that one"

the doc says "she's a nurse, right?" so he wrote an order for

"numerous orgasms daily" lol

MEN! :uhoh21:

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.
This wasnt in a chart, it was on a prescription that my husband's doctor wrote.

My husband had a prostate infection and the doc told him he needed to have as many orgasms as possible to help clear the infection. (or was it epididimytis? it was in that area anyway lol) so my husband tells the doc" oh sure my wife will believe that one"

the doc says "she's a nurse, right?" so he wrote an order for

"numerous orgasms daily" lol

MEN! :uhoh21:

Oh, garsh, that is too funny!!!:monkeydance:

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1 shot Johnny Walker whiskey (not cheap rotgut!) thickened to honey consistency Q hs. Pharmacy bought it and we thickened it. Eww!

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Specializes in Critical Care Transport/Intensive Care/Management.
wait... which part is true?? That this happened, or that spreading yogurt on her lady parts would prevent yeast infections???

"Another study has shown that applying yogurt directly to the lady parts (about one tablespoon via an applicator) can help prevent and treat bacterial vaginosis, a condition similar to a yeast infection, but involving a different microorganism. Some women have long recommended this method for yeast infections. When applied topically, be sure to use plain, unsweetened yogurt; sugar can actually feed the problem since it's Candida's favorite food. "

NICE!

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Specializes in ICU, ER, HH, NICU, now FNP.

Yogurt - and acidophilus or lactobacillus DO in fact help yeast infections as they replace the absent bacillus which allowed the overgrowth of yeast in the first place.

Acidophilus capsules are a LOT less messy however than yogurt.

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Specializes in Peds.
first day on the floor i was a student nurse. Doctor asks me to draw up morphine to be given IV stat. I explain that I can't do this as I am a student and need everything double checked signed etc. He says i forgot your a slug. of course i'm mad and hurt. report to my clinical instructor who of course is now having kittens. I'm more upset. when she finally gets control of herself I learn that slug is student learning under guidance. funny now not then

That is too funny. I'd like to send it as a quote to some fellow nursing students........

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One time our lab lost a 24 hour urine. How can you lose a bright orange gallon container full of pee?

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