A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog
down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body
and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is
dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this,
demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes
out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat
sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the
dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that
you're dog is dead, too." The man is still unwilling to accept that
his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black lab, the lab sniffs the
body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.
The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your
dog is dead too."
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks
how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650."
"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.
"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my
initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab
May 31, '04
guy goes to the doctor because he is worried about his Johnson, he gets to see the doctor and tells him I am worried because my Johnson is turning orange, The Doc is surprised and says well lets take a look, sure enough it is orange.
The Doc asks have you started any new medications recently that I should know about, the guy says no I don't take any medicine.
The Doc asks what do you do for a living, do you work with anything that might be the cause? The guy says no I was recently laid off.
The Doc asks so what do you do all day?
The guy says basically watch porn and eat cheetos!!!!!!
May 31, '04