Turning down job after accepting?

  1. I have never imagined turning a job down that I absolutely love, but things have arisen lately. My girlfriend and I got back together (of 5 years!) and are seriously considering living together. However, I chose a hospital over an hour away from where her hospital is (she's also an RN).

    I am a new graduate and I start my first job in August. If I applied to the same hospital she works at AND get accepted, is it very disrespectful to turn down the original job? I would feel SOOO bad doing it, but I am thinking it might be best for mine and her future to be close.

    What would be my chances to be able to get a job at the original hospital I was accepted at in the future? We would eventually want to work at it, but for the next two years the hospital she is at now is where she will be at. That would suck to be apart that long!

    Any advice?
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    About Obiwarz

    Joined: Jul '06; Posts: 72; Likes: 26
    Cardiac Telemetry, Politics, Organizer; from US
    Specialty: 3 year(s) of experience in Cardiac Telemetry, Psychology

    4 Comments

  3. by   Cymy
    You might both be better off working at different hospitals and living between them--each of you commute 30 minutes rather than one of you an hour. Working in the same place as a significant other can lead to problems of various sorts. Beyond the obvious "bringing the relationship to work" stuff, you may not want to put all your eggs in one basket.

    For example, my husband and I worked at the same start-up company and when it became clear that the management just couldn't manage and were breaking promises to all of the employees and sending us out to foreign countries with inadequate training, I quit and walked out. 15 minutes later my husband felt there was little he could do but quit as well, as there would clearly be major conflict in the immediate future over my quitting. It was all for the best--one of the major promises we asked for when we signed on was that at least two weeks of each month would be non-travel for both of us so that we could spend time together. They were sending my husband out 100% travel and me 75%, so we never even saw each other except Saturday nights when we both collapsed exhausted to grab a few hours in our own bed before getting up before dawn to go to the airport to get the next flight.

    Anyway, the point is, it is often a bad idea to work at the same place as your significant other.

    Good luck with your renewed relationship!
  4. by   Obiwarz
    Quote from Cymy
    You might both be better off working at different hospitals and living between them--each of you commute 30 minutes rather than one of you an hour. Working in the same place as a significant other can lead to problems of various sorts. Beyond the obvious "bringing the relationship to work" stuff, you may not want to put all your eggs in one basket.

    For example, my husband and I worked at the same start-up company and when it became clear that the management just couldn't manage and were breaking promises to all of the employees and sending us out to foreign countries with inadequate training, I quit and walked out. 15 minutes later my husband felt there was little he could do but quit as well, as there would clearly be major conflict in the immediate future over my quitting. It was all for the best--one of the major promises we asked for when we signed on was that at least two weeks of each month would be non-travel for both of us so that we could spend time together. They were sending my husband out 100% travel and me 75%, so we never even saw each other except Saturday nights when we both collapsed exhausted to grab a few hours in our own bed before getting up before dawn to go to the airport to get the next flight.

    Anyway, the point is, it is often a bad idea to work at the same place as your significant other.

    Good luck with your renewed relationship!
    I can understand this perspective. In defense though, we both have the same career aspirations to work in an intensive care unit ASAP. Both of the hospitals that are involved with all this are veryyyy large so its more than likely we won't be on the same floor anyway, even despite the ICU interest.

    I just worry I won't be able to get hired at the place ever again if I already accepted the job, have everything lined up to start there, the new employee packet, etc. and a month after accepting say no. Ugh.

    Thanks for the nice words though
  5. by   MrChicagoRN
    Quote from Obiwarz

    I am a new graduate and I start my first job in August. If I applied to the same hospital she works at AND get accepted, is it very disrespectful to turn down the original job? I would feel SOOO bad doing it, but I am thinking it might be best for mine and her future to be close.
    You did make a committment to Hospital A.

    You are free to rescind your acceptance, but it may come back to bite you someday later on.

    I once had the misfortune of sharing an hourlong cabride from PA to Atlantic City (courtesy of the airline) for a conference after missing a connecting flight. This was a totally hateful woman...who showed up for an interview in Chicago a few years later. I remembered her, she asked if sher knew me from somewhere. I was cordial, but would never of hired her.

    In applying for a position I'll be starting in 2 weeks, there was a nurse I worked with 17 years ago. If she had a bad recollection of me, that could have killed the deal.

    Do what you feel you need to do. Peoples circumstances do change, and recruiters know that, but be careful of which bridges you burn.
  6. by   chuck1234
    From my owe experience, they might not hire you again!

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