I Desperately Want Out

  1. Hi Everyone,

    i just need to vent and I need someone to talk to me. I'm just feeling very upset right now and I want out of nursing..

    I graduated with my associates a year and a half ago and have been practicing as a RN for about a year now and I absolutely hate it.

    I work on an observation floor and everyone's super helpful but I'm starting to just dread coming into work and that's never happened before.

    I'm 22 years old and I'm starting to realize what I want out of life and it's becoming more and more clear that it's not this. I'm starting to realize that I want a family and nursing is far from friendly hours. I don't want to be working on holidays, weekends, or especially nights. I know some parents make it work but I don't want to be one of those people.

    im starting to resent people and I've never been like that before. I have no patience anymore and I'm just burnt out.

    Ultimately, I just feel like a failure. I went to school for something that I thought I would absolutely love. I thought I wanted this. I worked so hard for my RN and I'm giving it all up.

    I'm sorry for ranting and I know that these paragraphs don't flow easily... I'm just blurting out all my feelings at this point..

    The sad thing is, I don't think I'll be good at anything else. I'm not sure what else id do if I wasn't a nurse.

    How do I tell my family and especially my boyfriend that I love so very much that it's not for me without looking like a huge failure? I also don't want my partner to leave me over it.

    What should I do?

    Sincerely,

    a very sad young RN
    Last edit by Brian S. on Jul 20
  2. Visit toxiktraktor profile page

    About toxiktraktor

    Joined: Jul '18; Posts: 1; Likes: 1

    58 Comments

  3. by   NurseCard
    It's okay. You've come to the right place, to vent! <3 <3

    Nursing is not for everyone, it's true. However, there are things
    that you have to remember, when it comes to nursing:

    1) The first couple of years are HARD. For me, the first FEW
    years were hard... many ups and downs.

    2) Nursing is not ALL, working horrible hours. Furthermore, even
    if you find yourself HAVING to continue working night shifts, weekends,
    holidays... you can still have a life, a family, a boyfriend/husband. I've
    worked mostly night shifts my whole career. I also have two kids and
    a husband and a wonderful family life.

    3) Again, being a nurse doesn't mean working the crazy hours forever.
    There are plenty of nursing jobs out there that allow for more normal
    hours. Sometimes you have to "pay your dues" before you can get those
    jobs, but you've been a nurse a year now. How about working in
    an outpatient surgery clinic? How about OR nursing? Public health.
    School health. Doctor's office. Endoscopy.

    You'll be okay. Whatever you decide.
  4. by   brownbook
    Your feelings are sooooo normal. I don't think you'd be human if you didn't feel the way you do.

    Working weekends, Christmas Eve or day, Thanksgiving day, 11 pm to 7 am, etc, is depressing. I only did it 17 years .

    When you are feeling down, depressed, worried, etc, do not make important decisions about your job or boyfriend.

    (The phrase I've said a1000 times to patients being discharged from ambulatory surgery....."Don't make important decisions, don't sign legal documents", is very appropriate when you're under duress.)

    The reality is many jobs, especially in the hospitality industry, require weekends, holidays, etc.

    The reality is working 8 to 5 Mon to Fri is awful hours for infants, toddlers, and parents to manage.

    The reality is families can adapt: celebrate Christmas the 26th, have Thanksgiving on Friday, etc.

    The reality is after a year or so of acute care nursing you're in an excellent position to seek other nursing jobs that do not require weekends, nights, holidays, etc.
  5. by   inthecosmos
    Quote from toxiktraktor
    I don't want to be working on holidays, weekends, or especially nights. I know some parents make it work but I don't want to be one of those people.
    Many, many RN jobs provide opportunities outside of the 12 hour work schedule. If you pursue a BSN, you would be eligible to do Public Health (health department), school nursing, home health, case management, utilization review, telephone triage, and some management positions. These don't all require on call and would provide a better schedule where you have weekends and holidays off, maybe even summers if you look in the right places.


    Quote from toxiktraktor
    What should I do?
    1.) DON'T MAKE A RASH DECISION.

    2.) It may be that your time on your unit is over and while you may not hate it, a new environment may help your perspective change.

    3.) Invest in a therapist? Maybe work through your feelings and get a grasp on what caused the change.
  6. by   Been there,done that
    Quote from inthecosmos
    Many, many RN jobs provide opportunities outside of the 12 hour work schedule. If you pursue a BSN, you would be eligible to do Public Health (health department), school nursing, home health, case management, utilization review, telephone triage, and some management positions. These don't all require on call and would provide a better schedule where you have weekends and holidays off, maybe even summers if you look in the right places.




    1.) DON'T MAKE A RASH DECISION.

    2.) It may be that your time on your unit is over and while you may not hate it, a new environment may help your perspective change.

    3.) Invest in a therapist? Maybe work through your feelings and get a grasp on what caused the change.
    OP does not have to pursue a BSN to "do Public Health (health department), school nursing, home health, case management, utilization review, telephone triage, and some management positions." All of these positions are available to the nurse with an ADN.
  7. by   sallyrnrrt
    School nursing would be an excellent choice, best wishes
  8. by   elkpark
    Quote from Been there,done that
    OP does not have to pursue a BSN to "do Public Health (health department), school nursing, home health, case management, utilization review, telephone triage, and some management positions." All of these positions are available to the nurse with an ADN.
    Not necessarily, depending on the location. Lots of employers do require BSNs for many of those positions. If one is wiling to move wherever in the country you can find a job in one of those specializations, sure, it's probably possible. But a lot more likely with a BSN.
  9. by   not.done.yet
    Quote from Been there,done that
    OP does not have to pursue a BSN to "do Public Health (health department), school nursing, home health, case management, utilization review, telephone triage, and some management positions." All of these positions are available to the nurse with an ADN.
    For the time being there are definitely some positions in these sectors with those credentials. However, the recommendation to update the standard of entry to BSN is gaining ground and getting a BSN is a forward-thinking, good idea for anyone 22 years old in nursing.

    OP, there are SO MANY options open to you that don't involve the high stress and hours that are making this hard for you.

    Reach out to insurance companies. Consider clinics, case management, medical sales, infusion nursing....so many other pathways to earn a good living with your degree that do not involve direct patient care of the type you are experiencing now. There are also lots of other ways to use your degree that do not involve nights/weekends/holidays. You may have to get good with earning less than your acute care counterparts, but "having it all" isn't a reality for most people; plus, you are only 1.5 years in. Going to some of these other jobs may actually equate to more money, not less, at your stage in this career. You can earn a good living and still get the work/life balance you are seeking without having to toss nursing out on its ear.

    Acute care nursing is hard, dirty, stressful work. Its okay if it isn't your cup of tea. You have 1.5 years of experience. Its okay to start looking at other options.
  10. by   CBlover
    I've been a nurse for about 8 years now. I can't say I love it that's for sure. It's a job. It's long hours when you do 12s, but I love having 4 days off. If I can just get through my 3 days of misery lol, I have 4 days off to look fwd to!! I have a 2 y.o son and wish I could spend every day with him, but it is what it is and there's bills to pay and I live comfortably. I don't have all this extra money floating around, but I literally cant think of a thing I need nor my family. My advice to you is this TAKE A VACATION. When I'm feeling burnt out, even just week off at the beach does me so much good. Or now that you've got a 1.5 yr experience under your belt, look around for something you may enjoy slightly more. Good luck. You'll get through it. Believe me I have 35 years to go before I can retire!!
  11. by   Boog'sCRRN246
    Quote from inthecosmos
    Many, many RN jobs provide opportunities outside of the 12 hour work schedule. If you pursue a BSN, you would be eligible to do Public Health (health department), school nursing, home health, case management, utilization review, telephone triage, and some management positions. These don't all require on call and would provide a better schedule where you have weekends and holidays off, maybe even summers if you look in the right places.
    I wouldn't include Utilization Review, case management, or home health in the list of jobs where one would have no on-call, no weekends, and no holidays, especially if those jobs are hospital-based. I'm currently at work, on a Saturday, doing Utilization Review. I'm required to work 2-3 weekend days per month and if I had a BSN, the expectations wouldn't change.
  12. by   Newgradnurse17
    I agree. Try different areas first.

    But the main thing is not to make any fast decisions. Stay where you are till you know what you want. If that's another nursing job then wait till you have one to go to before you quit. Or if it's something outside of nursing, start t before you leave.

    The only thing worse than being in a job you dint like, is being unemployed and not being able to find a job.
  13. by   athey1999
    I think every nurse has felt that burn out in the first couple of years. It's natural because acclimating to the profession takes time. But also know that you work in one of the most versatile professions out there. That's one of the most wonderful things about nursing. There are so many options out there. You can work the floor, outpatient, education, home health, infusion, advanced practice, etc. You may need certain amounts of experience or education for some areas, but you can find ways to get that. I recently switched to Endoscopy after working 13 years on the floor. The hours were better, I am learning a new set of skills, and I felt that I had better work-life balance. My point is, you may have to try a few nursing areas before you find your niche. But there is one out there for you. There are areas that have better hours and may be less taxing, but allow you to meaningfully contribute in any which case to this profession. And you will find that you love your job after awhile. Don't get discouraged and don't throw in the towel. You'll find your niche.
  14. by   cleback
    Actually, if you have infants or small kids, nursing hours are pretty nice. Working PMs allowed me to take my little guy to library hours, swim classes, and other activities happening during the week that if I worked banker's hours I would have not been able to. When the kid gets to be school-aged, that may be a different beast.

    It has also spared me a few trips to the inlaws around the holidays. LOL.

    anyway, just adding perspective that it isn't all bad.

    Do you work nights? I found that I get pretty depressed working nights. Once I switched to days/pms, I was a whole new person. On nights, I also wanted to leave nursing completely. On nights, I did start my journey in grad school to get out of bedside staffing. I get it. But before you leave entirely, there are likely adjustments you can make to make your life a bit happier. Best of luck to you.

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