Do Not Over-Share!

Bipolar disorder and other mental health issues are still very much stigmatized in many healthcare settings. Moreover, some physical ailments carry a stigma. Do you disclose your health problems to your employer? Do you disclose your prescribed medications? Nurses Announcements Archive Article

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Long Term Care Columnist / Guide

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

22 Articles; 9,987 Posts

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

This really hit home for me, as I myself have a history of over-sharing to the point where my capabilities were seriously questioned and I wound up losing my job in May of this year.

Unfortunately, with bipolar individuals the over-sharing usually comes during an episode of hypomania or mania, when the filters we do have go missing, and our mouths work even faster than our overheated brains. Mania writes checks our bodies can't cash, so when the episode is over, we often find ourselves in a hot mess that we may not be able to clean up, and that's when lives can begin to unravel.

The take-home lesson here, of course, is NEVER disclose sensitive personal information to your co-workers and/or supervisors that you wouldn't want the entire world to know about. While mental illness is not something to be ashamed of, like The Commuter says there is still enough of a stigma attached that you will be labeled as "kooky", "crazy", "unstable" and other unflattering descriptors.

It's a sad commentary on nursing culture that a profession known for compassion is often so judgmental toward nurses with psychiatric issues. But it is what it is, and until that culture changes we need to remain "closeted" as much as possible.

OCNRN63, RN

5,978 Posts

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Very true. . .but management and my coworkers at my place of employment had been dealing with her candor and lack of a verbal filter for 7+ years. Once she revealed she had untreated bipolar disorder, management made the decision to get her out of there.

Prior to disclosing her diagnosis of bipolar disorder, she was considered a blunt over-sharer who perhaps lacked some tact and grace when dealing with coworkers. She always received compliments from her patients and was a proficient nurse.

After disclosing her history of bipolar disorder, all of a sudden Toni was labeled "a crazy nurse" who needed to be gone.

Another lesson learned: interpersonal skills will either make or break you!

Why did the student nurse's input account for anything?

​Some people will resort to anything in order to feel important, even if it means trashing an employee of many years.

RNperdiem, RN

4,592 Posts

Your article reminds me of the quote "anything you say can and will be used against you".

Sometimes I read on these boards about nurses upset about gossip. I wonder if some of them are over-sharers and the original source of information is themselves.

amoLucia

7,736 Posts

Specializes in retired LTC.
Commuter: You have such a way with words and such excellent verbal and communications skills,etc Have you thought of writing a book?
I second that motion.

NurseDirtyBird

425 Posts

Some of these responses serve better than the original article to remind us not to disclose mental health issues at work. Those of you who think the dx of bipolar disorder is grounds for termination in and of itself should probably take a look at the Americans with Disabilities Act. Thanks for being part of the problem.

BSNbeauty, BSN, RN

1,939 Posts

Great article as always commuter. I have a problem with over sharing at work and that ends today. I can't trust no one.

BSNbeauty, BSN, RN

1,939 Posts

One person said to me people only know what you tell them. So true.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

22 Articles; 9,987 Posts

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Some of these responses serve better than the original article to remind us not to disclose mental health issues at work. Those of you who think the dx of bipolar disorder is grounds for termination in and of itself should probably take a look at the Americans with Disabilities Act. Thanks for being part of the problem.

The ADA didn't do a blessed thing for me when I needed it. My employer and their bank of lawyers decided that making 'reasonable accommodations' for my disability was too onerous, and they let me go instead of trying to work with me. Naturally, I asked my doctor and our attorney as well as researching the issue for myself, and every source said my chances of winning a lawsuit were 50-50 at best. And what would I have won had I put myself through that stress? I might have gotten my job back, with back pay, but I didn't want it anymore at that point anyway....who wants to work for someone who's disposed of you like yesterday's newspaper?

I stand by my original post, even though I hate to admit that I'm "part of the problem". Sharing my own bipolar diagnosis with people at work has cost me dearly, and I won't do it again should I be fortunate enough to find a job where they don't already know me.

Specializes in Medical Surgical.

Thank you for sharing. I am curious though that how did the student get Toni in trouble. Maybe Toni really did do something inappropriate in front of the student.

Specializes in Critical Care.

I agree don't overshare, try to keep it light and superficial. Problem is many people develop close friendships with coworkers since you are both struggling together in a high stress environment to get the work done. Unfortunately that can come back to bite you whether it's because of a falling out with said friend or just a "nice" person with loose lips. Not everyone will be understanding of your troubles and some will use it against you or enjoy schadenfreude at your expense! But aside from work imagine how many people overshare on facebook alone and so many more people can see what you wrote!

Keep it light people! Save your deep dark secrets to God or a therapist if you need one. If you are struggling with psyche issues get help so you can feel better and cope better with work and life in general! If you need meds to feel better give them a try. As a nurse you can research the meds and work with your dr to decide which one you would prefer and if it doesn't work try another. Also it doesn't necessarily mean you need meds for the rest of your life depending on the problem of course. Many women suffer from anxiety/depression or PTSD and with the proper meds and therapy can overcome this and get on with life. Sometimes short stints of meds bridge the gap between therapy, depending on the issue! Personally I think borderline is just a label they stick on people and many people with these traits are really undiagnosed PTSD for example. Many women have experienced abuse and sexual violence, men too, but more women, but it can be overcome, you don't have to spend your life living with anxiety/depression PTSD.

In college I was surrounded by women who had either a history of abuse or were victims of rape! It is very sad! I even had to take a friend to the ER who had been assaulted by two fellow coeds who had all worked together on a play, and she had gone out with them after the play was over only to find herself the victim of rape! That was my biggest takeaway from college and dorm life! It is well known certain men both in high school and esp frat men in college prey on the young women, esp freshmen, ply them with etoh or drug them to assault them! The only bitter consolation is in this day and age there is usually videotape to prove the crime and get them convicted. Just like what happened in Steubenville, although it took Anonymous to bring some justice for the victim!

Patients with bipolar are known for their creativity, some autism patients too are gifted in certain areas such as math or music. I believe I read there is a link between math and music. Also new research is showing oxytocin can help autistic people with social skills. Schizophrenia too would lend to creativity, although I think that should be treated with meds since the alternative could be losing touch with reality!

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

102 Articles; 27,612 Posts

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Thank you for sharing. I am curious though that how did the student get Toni in trouble. Maybe Toni really did do something inappropriate in front of the student.
The student was in her last semester of school, and her instructor assigned her with the task of assessing one of Toni's patients and passing the 8:00am morning medications to the same patient. To keep a long story short, the student fooled around in the break room and didn't get around to starting the med pass until almost 11:00am. And the instructor was no supervising her students closely.

Toni inappropriately stormed into the CNO's office to complain about the student and instructor. The CNO was put off by Toni's loud rant and gave her the choice to resignation or be terminated.

The_Optimist

1 Article; 176 Posts

The student was in her last semester of school, and her instructor assigned her with the task of assessing one of Toni's patients and passing the 8:00am morning medications to the same patient. To keep a long story short, the student fooled around in the break room and didn't get around to starting the med pass until almost 11:00am. And the instructor was no supervising her students closely.

Toni inappropriately stormed into the CNO's office to complain about the student and instructor. The CNO was put off by Toni's loud rant and gave her the choice to resignation or be terminated.

Wow!Just wow! I am completely shocked @Commuter. That was a total misrepresentation of facts.Toni was insubordinate.

Bipolar disorder did not get Toni fired.

Loose lips did not get Toni fired.

Insubordination got Toni fired!Entirely different things...