Vent/rant on Nature of public forums:

Nurses Recovery

Published

In light of a recent thread on this forum it came to me that people should be aware of certain disclaimer's. This is a public forum and all members are free to participate. It seems odd to me that a person would post a question on the forum and when they receive replies become angry especially when the answers are not what they want to hear.

I have been a member of this forum for many years and successfully navigated a diversion monitoring program without destroying my career of going bankrupt. I am also a peer support for a facility that is monitoring friendly and has successfully helped a great number of nurses return to the careers they love and trained for.

When you post a question and don't get the response you want remember that true healing often comes from facing the hard truth of what we face as nurses in diversion/monitoring. Even those who are unjustly caught in the net due to old/youthful transgressions have to find a way to successfully navigate the program.

I once stood before my diversion committee and showed a book I had read that outlined a non-12-step approach to recovery. Needless to say they were not amused. So I did what my marine corps grandfather taught me: I choose to adapt, improvise and overcome. I succeeded because I listened to those who shared the bitter truth about the programs with me. I became a poster child for the 12-step model of recovery. Stayed under the radar and never engaged in anything that might look like relapse behavior. They are not fair but we all know that the idea that life should be fair is a delusional lie.

So if you don't want honest input please don't post questions on the open forum. There are private message boards for individuals to vent freely with each other.

It might interest many to know that the monitoring boards do read this and other nurses in recovery forums so one should be careful about giving information that can be used to identify yourself.

One of the hallmarks of addiction (if you identify as an addict) is the tendency to let resentment ruin our lives. I wasted 30 years of my life drowning in bitterness so I know this from experience. I am only trying to help so please take responses from me and others who have successfully completed these in the spirit in which they are intended.

Peace and namaste

Hppy

Hppy,

I have no idea what kind of vitriolic conversation you may have become engaged in. You and I have vastly different viewpoints with respect to the worth of these programs and 12 step programs. However, you are a thoughtful and respectful person who sees some of the shortcomings of these programs and are actively seeking to reform them for which you have earned my respect.

As you know, feelings run hot with respect to these programs. I have a well documented white-hot hatred for them and feel they have nothing to do with any sort of rehabilitation and very little to do with protecting the public, Honestly from what I've seen a very small percentage of nurses caught up in these purgatories have ever been impaired at work nor were they diverting drugs thus having no impact on the patients in their care. Further the idea of sucking nurses with non-substance abuse issues into these things is simply absurd and would be silly if the implications weren't so deadly serious.

My feelings for the money-sucking vampires in the rehab industry is even worse. I believe their success rate is in the single digits (similar to folks quitting without their "professional" help) and the only real interest they have is maximizing return for their business which is largely manned by completed unqualified, minimum wage people with a history of substance abuse who may or may not be presently clean. Any dime they squeeze from individuals or insurance companies should be prosecutable fraud.

Having said that, we agree on a basic point. Whether just or unjust (and its almost always unjust) the nurse sucked into this morass of fecal matter has a simple choice to make. They can either follow the senseless rules to the "t" or they can lose their ability to practice. I give the program everything that is required and not one thing more. Like it? No. Respect it? NEVER!!!! As far as the BONs monitoring our conversations I say let em. We have to conform. We don't have to concur or even offer a morsel of respect as they have earned none.

Go Steelers!!!

Spanked

Persephone Paige, ADN

1 Article; 696 Posts

Good post! I agree.

Emergent, RN

4,242 Posts

Specializes in ER.

I think this post applies to many aspects of life, not just nurses in recovery.

morte, LPN, LVN

7,015 Posts

hppy, I part of your problem is that you see only from your perspective, your program, is apparently ont how they are run today. and they are pulling a lot of persons in that do not belong. I will never be at their mercy, and I do not agree with their idiocy.

allnurses Guide

hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I

4 Articles; 5,044 Posts

Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
hppy, I part of your problem is that you see only from your perspective, your program, is apparently ont how they are run today. and they are pulling a lot of persons in that do not belong. I will never be at their mercy, and I do not agree with their idiocy.

I whole heartedly agree with you on how this has evolved into a huge monster tar-baby. The whole under regulated profit driven rehab industry makes me shudder and I do feel for those pulled for ridiculous reasons and shoved into one size fits all programs. This is why I am actively working to bring about change in my own state. My comments are designed to help people get through the programs which is compliance with the bon order. Anything less will get one a fast track to license suspension/revocation. It's like taking a bitter pill. you don't have to like it but you better take it.

Hppy

Persephone Paige, ADN

1 Article; 696 Posts

So true... Whether you drank the koolaid or not, nobody wants a positive UDS. I have found most of your advice confined to avoiding positive drug screens. Foods, herbals, etc... can cause a positive test and subsequent BIG problems and BIG money to fix the problems. I appreciate the time you take.

Hppy,

I have no idea what kind of vitriolic conversation you may have become engaged in. You and I have vastly different viewpoints with respect to the worth of these programs and 12 step programs. However, you are a thoughtful and respectful person who sees some of the shortcomings of these programs and are actively seeking to reform them for which you have earned my respect.

As you know, feelings run hot with respect to these programs. I have a well documented white-hot hatred for them and feel they have nothing to do with any sort of rehabilitation and very little to do with protecting the public, Honestly from what I've seen a very small percentage of nurses caught up in these purgatories have ever been impaired at work nor were they diverting drugs thus having no impact on the patients in their care. Further the idea of sucking nurses with non-substance abuse issues into these things is simply absurd and would be silly if the implications weren't so deadly serious.

My feelings for the money-sucking vampires in the rehab industry is even worse. I believe their success rate is in the single digits (similar to folks quitting without their "professional" help) and the only real interest they have is maximizing return for their business which is largely manned by completed unqualified, minimum wage people with a history of substance abuse who may or may not be presently clean. Any dime they squeeze from individuals or insurance companies should be prosecutable fraud.

Having said that, we agree on a basic point. Whether just or unjust (and its almost always unjust) the nurse sucked into this morass of fecal matter has a simple choice to make. They can either follow the senseless rules to the "t" or they can lose their ability to practice. I give the program everything that is required and not one thing more. Like it? No. Respect it? NEVER!!!! As far as the BONs monitoring our conversations I say let em. We have to conform. We don't have to concur or even offer a morsel of respect as they have earned none.

Go Steelers!!!

Spanked

Why are you so angry?

(I am not criticizing, just wondering)

Why are you so angry?

(I am not criticizing, just wondering)

Hi Kooky,

Why wouldn't I be mad? I'm not the kinda guy who is gonna be fed pig feces and pretend like it's a porterhouse steak to make the server feel better. I try not to personalize my feelings of these programs to any individual but my observations and opinions are my entitlement. If they make others uncomfortable well then so be it. Besides this hate keeps me motivated. I believe there's a passage in the big book about "recoiling" from booze after working the steps. Well I recoil from booze because I will not let these bums break me. One-step recovery for me... pure hatred

Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

It works both ways. You can share your bitter truth as you perceive it and folks can respond emotionally and otherwise to your bitter truth.

Specializes in OR.

I come across as a soup of bitter/angry/sad/confused/disgusted/a teaspoon of understanding.

I'm bitter at the loss of my career and the fact that I feel I will never regain the respect and chances for advancment that I once had.

I'm angry at having been fooled into believing that these programs were there to help and advocate for me in a time of need and finding out that it was nothing more than a fraudulent pack of lies designed to empty me of my savings, my retirement, dent my families retirement and reduce me to a 40 something year old child that but for the grace of God am not living on the street.

I am sad for the rest of my colleagues who have fallen into the same trap I have and are not as fortunate and have lost everything they have worked so hard for merely because they don't have the financial resources.

I'm confused that the people that run these programs seem to truly believe that the damage done to us is somehow helping when in fact it clearly harms. It confuses me how in a profession that is driven by evidenced based practice, these programs are framed around outdated modalities that have no proven rate of success such as forcing 12 step indoctrination.

I am disgusted at the obvious conflicts of interest between the evaluators, treatment facilities the administrators of the programs and the drug testing arms. It disgusts me that these things function on "guilty until proven innocent" and that obtaining that proof can cost a bundle. This is not monitoring, this is punishment.

The teaspoon of understanding comes from the fact that there is a place for monitoring programs. But not run like they are now.

It works both ways. You can share your bitter truth as you perceive it and folks can respond emotionally and otherwise to your bitter truth.

I'm good with that

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