Recreational THC = now starting IPN!

Nurses Recovery

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Well...... hello new friends!

As a "new" Registered Nurse of 2 1/2 years @ 43 years old, a part of my "previous life" did not fall away as completely as it should have. A phone call was made ( and I strongly suspect this was by a co-worker who knew too much of my personal life, and who was increasingly aggressive and confrontational with me at work over the last several months.... regardless of that fact, however, I OWN this now and here I am.... )

This occured last Thursday. I was escorted to HR by mgmt., and then went to give blood & urine. Prior to this, when asked by HR if I "thought it could be positive" I simply, honestly stated, "Yes, it's possible." I did this because I truly feel I have nothing to hide, and I have already been fussed at for #1.) Admitting this - - but if my credibility is all I have, it MUST remain intact!!!! and #2.) For not resigning before submitting to testing. Hmmm...... never occured to me, and seems a wee bit shady anyway......

I know the test will come back (+) and have already made initial calls to IPN to self-report and to an attorney who advised me and told me to call her if things with IPN get bad.... (((( ?!?!?!?! :eek: )))) I am fully trusting this process and HOPE I am not naive in doing so....... All that is in my head is "BE HONEST! BE HONEST!! THIS HAS HAPPENED AND YOU HAVE TO OWN IT!!!! :cry:

I see alot of good & bad posts about IPN but what gives me hope is the people that say, "Do what they tell you & you will be OK" or "It's hard, but it becomes a way of life and you can do it" or "you will be stronger" or "the time will pass anyway"

The journey and success of becoming an RN changed my life in many profound ways and I will do everything in my power to protect & preserve my license!!!! NOTHING matters more.... I am NOT struggling with concerns of withdrawal or replacing my "buzz" in any way...... I am not sipping wine as I write this!!!

I am also pretty hopeful, as the attorney stated if I am diagnosed at a level that is a need for "Education" and is not addiction/dependancy, that this is taken into consideration.....

Is anyone else in a similar situation?!?!?! A first-time offender, recreational user, no polysubstance use...... I would love to connect with those in a similar situation........... I know this is going to take months to start and years to end...... I would appreciate any and all feedback.......!!!!!

Thank you for listening to my story and I wish you well!!!!!!!!:redbeathe

THANK YOU for sharing your story... I too have found only SUPPORT in the people I have told my story to...... If we all move forward with such honesty, I feel it could only serve to remove the stigma of addiction/treatment and benefit those who have this path in their future.....

I wish I could give *DOUBLE KUDOS* to your words....!!!! :up::up::up:

Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.

if you take baby steps and just keep doing the next right thing, one day you are going to realize "omg, i'm sober and love it!"

very proud of you!

Dear Southernbeegirl;

I really do appreciate your words ~ thank you....!

For me, the focus of my "treatment" has been on EDUCATION with regard to my casual, recreational pot-smoking.... it is not - nor has it ever been - SOBRIETY. Unfortunately, it was simply POOR judgement....

That aside (and more importantly) I have learned that it's effects lasted much longer than I ever realized.... and I have experienced less anxiety for two reasons:

1. Because my system is no longer getting dosed 2 - 3 times a month, and my brain chemistry is OFF that rollercoaster... and

2. I KNOW now that I can work as an RN who now NEVER has to worry about peeing "dirty"... if anyone in my workplace EVER feels a need to retaliate against me again.... they will have to attack me on the merits of my conduct & performance..... which they couldn't do this time, either... In my use, I provided them the ONLY method of striking out against me, and I can control the FACT that this will NEVER happen again!!!!!!

Now I know that ANY variables that could work against me are removed and I am FREE & CLEAR to move forward... clean in mind, body & soul!!!

I feel for those who struggle to maintain their sobriety and fight thoughts and cravings daily.... my journey, however, is fortunately a simple choice: that I will never smoke again because my license is MORE IMPORTANT than that..... PERIOD...

I am so inspired that you work in a place that is soooo supportive of you and your circumstances.... that you feel God placed you there.... I hope & pray to find myself in similar circumstances and that this entire experience only becomes one of growth and enlightenment, and serves to reach others.....

I will never hesitate to tell my story.... those who reject me for it aren't meant to be in my life.... those who love me for it will grow with me..... and those who will benefit from it are the ones I am meant to reach....

I believe and trust that with all my heart...... :redbeathe

Specializes in icu,ccu,sicu,crna.

Your story is so important to all RN's out there who may end up in similar circumstance! Keep telling it so all can learn. Thanks for posting. :yeah:

Hello all.....

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!! :up::twocents::) I was offered a job on Thursday as I was driving to my Aftercare meeting!!!! It was the FIRST JOB I interviewed for, and I am employed again as an RN - - - - just days short of 5 months un-employed... my last day at work was 11/6/09, and I was job offered on 4/1/10.... NO APRIL FOOL's....!!!!!! :jester: With respect to the "timeline" I have tried to maintain so that others in my postion may know what to expect, I started my "job hunt" on March 15, 16th as I started posting my resume on all of the on-line job sites.... Monster, CareerBuilder, etc.... I spoke to Recruiters as they started to call me, I revealed my IPN status.... most seemed genuinely shocked that this could happen over "pot" and offered their sympathies, but never called back with job offers.... I got the interview for the job I was offered by phone calling and personally connecting with the HR department. I was referred by a friend in the same facility, and knew the organization had IPN Nurses in their system, so I was confident in approaching them. I held my head high and presented myself as the Professional that I am.... the IPN issues were addressed up front!!!! I did not hold back.... I put it all on the table, and it was not a HUGE issue, I can honestly say.... I think it is key that I do not have the Narcotics Restriction.... and I have the "Early Completion" contingency that allows me to be done ONE YEAR after satisfactory monitoring in the clinical setting..... So..... 5 months in, and one year to go......

Thank you all for sharing this journey with me...... I hope this helps those who will follow.....

Happy Easter to all..... and God Bless........ :redpinkhe :nurse:

Specializes in geriatric.

Congradulations, I am happy all your hardwork paid off. I know how great you feel. I remeber when I first got my job I could not believe it. I had waited 3 years and 8 months although my problem was more then just pot.But I did work hard the whole times and I got the same thing as you. " we understand and admire you for what your going thru" but then never called. I had tried several times over the years. then when my narcotic restriction was lifeted my old company that i was terminated from in 2001 hired me this year. I am still walking on clouds. I also appreciate my career and will never take it for granted again.Best wishes again!

Thank you!!!! I am soooo excited!!!! I go in Friday to do my "New Hire" paperwork!!! I am ready to work again and soooo very thankful for everything that has transpired......... everything for a reason!!!!!

Good Luck to each of you out there...!!!!

:redpinkhe

I just read this entire thread! Very impressed by you!

Congratulations to you!

I'm new to California's Diversion program and have a similar situation to yours. I'm wondering what you did say at at those AA/NA meetings...."I'm Jane Doe and I'm a ____?" I haven't spoken at one of my meetings yet and don't know what to say because I am not an addict or alcoholic either!

Thanks and Congrats again!!!

InCodeBrown....

GREAT screen name.... I am sure you feel like you are in deep right now... I hope my thread can support & inspire you as you begin this journey...!!!! If you have read all of this, you can see I was pretty passionate about NOT identifying myself as an "addict".... from the beginning, I have and still do introduce myself as,

"My name is Jane Doe, and I am a Substance Abuser." That is my DX, and my truth, and that is all there is to it......!!!

Hope this helps!!! Let me know how you are doing, and please continue to post updates for others that will follow!!

Best of luck to you.... this is going to change your life in ways you cannot imagine..... good will come of this.... just let it flow.... don't fight it..... you will do just fine!!!!

*hugs*:nurse:

Thank you for the good wishes and grat posts!

I'm nervous, So far I have not had to random test, but I know it will happen soon. I've done an entire diet change because I'm so worried about the false postive etg for alcohol that I've read about and heard about in my Nurse Support Group Meetings. (I don't even drink alcohol- well rarely socially and not since Jan!)

I'm VERY depressed and worried about my being on my Lexapro will affect the decision by the DEC of if/when I can return to work.

Also I have a meeting with the out patient rehab facility on Monday and I'm worried they won't even accept me because I'm not and addict or alcoholic and definitely don't want to lie about it! (I have to complete 9 weeks of 9 hrs/week outpatient to be in Diversion!) My laywer (s) think that Diversion will be better in the long run than trying to go before the BRN.

What a nightmare!

Good for you

Dear InCodeBrown;

I hope this finds you doing well out there..... and finding resolution to some of the issues you posted here..... I wouldn't worry about the random urine screenings as long as you are truly abstaining... the process is a little stressful until you do it once or twice, primarily because of the "unknown" factor.... but there is nothing to it, really...!

As for myself... most everyone else in my Intensive Outpatient Group was being medicated for depression, anxiety, insomnia and withdrawal symptoms until they could be weaned off of each as appropriate... I can't see how that would interfere with your participation or acceptance into a program... (( ??? )))

And as far as NOT being accepted into a program because you are not an "alcoholic or addict" - - if it is ordered by the intervening authority in your State that coordinates with referrals from your Board of Nursing... then I would imagine they HAVE to accept you & treat you.... THAT is the WHOLE idea of these Nurse intervention programs... to receive the education and treatment commensurate with your diagnosis of "abuse" or "dependance" or "addiction" and return you safely to practice and maintain your license intact.....

Keep us posted and just do whatever they ask you to do...... don't "WHAT IF" about what is next.... focus on today and what you have to do to get through it.... make the most of your resources, and talk about it..... silence is not therapeutic...!!!!

I am sooo excited to be starting my Orientation for my new job tomorrow....!!!! There is resolution to this process......

JUST BREATHE........ *hugs*

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