Nursing Student in Recovery

Nurses Recovery

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Hey guys!It's been awhile since I've posted here.....anywhere on AN. I'm on a break from nursing school dealing with recovery of opiate addiction. I'm just seeking any advice.

It begins literally in the beginning since I'm also in recovery from a difficult childhood and regaining control over my life. I've only been in recovery since August 2012, but you have to start somewhere.

I wish you the best of luck in your recovery from EVERYTHING, and in your fresh start!!! You can do this

Hi JessKidding, I'm a nursing student who was an addict too.

It's not easy, I agree.

Today I'm filled with doubt. I don't know if I am supposed to be a nurse. I often can;t stand the nursing school experience. I'm not a kid and I have health issues. I am often antisocial, negative and judgemental but I try very hard to hide itl. I am on disability for depression, and I made a decision to withdraw from my ASN program in the second month of my second semester, and now I'm back starting at the beginning. Great grades, full of doubt.

It makes sense to get off the ____ before you get further in.

Sorry I'm not flowery spiritual and uplifting...I'm not feelin' it. But I don't get high...over anything.

I am a nursing student as well, just coming up on three years in recovery from alcohol. When I hit my bottom I lost my job, my car, was in and out of four treatment facilities, almost lost my house and my SON.

Since then, I lost another job, been in a car accident, gone through a bad breakup, etc. etc. but I have also started and almost finished nursing school, had a beautiful baby girl, live in a nice home, have a decent car to drive, have good SOBER friends. I have truly been blessed. All in all, I am very fortunate.

There are a few things my sponsor told me that I have thought of any time I've had a passing thought that I might drink.

1. There is nothing going on in your life that is so bad that taking a drink (or using) couldn't make worse.

2. Before you take a drink, take your career, kids, car, home and everything you have worked for and set it out in front of you, because if you take that drink, you might as well say goodbye to all of them right now.

3. If you hang out in a barbershop long enough, you will end up getting a haircut. (hence, I don't go to bars or hang with people while they are drinking. period.)

Hope some of this helps as I believe it applies to any substance, not just alcohol.

First off congrats! Like above posts said it is hard to admit an addiction.. You sound like your on the right track of taking control of your new life. My mom was a nurse and even though her alcoholism didn't cost her her job it did cost her her life, and I don't mean death. She has once again chosen the bottle over her 3 daiughter and 8 beautiful grand children. I had always wished she would realize all the wonderful things life has to offer besids an escape from reality. Writing is so therapeutic.. I wish you the best in your new life and stay strong.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I am a nursing student as well, just coming up on three years in recovery from alcohol. When I hit my bottom I lost my job, my car, was in and out of four treatment facilities, almost lost my house and my SON.

Since then, I lost another job, been in a car accident, gone through a bad breakup, etc. etc. but I have also started and almost finished nursing school, had a beautiful baby girl, live in a nice home, have a decent car to drive, have good SOBER friends. I have truly been blessed. All in all, I am very fortunate.

There are a few things my sponsor told me that I have thought of any time I've had a passing thought that I might drink.

1. There is nothing going on in your life that is so bad that taking a drink (or using) couldn't make worse.

2. Before you take a drink, take your career, kids, car, home and everything you have worked for and set it out in front of you, because if you take that drink, you might as well say goodbye to all of them right now.

3. If you hang out in a barbershop long enough, you will end up getting a haircut. (hence, I don't go to bars or hang with people while they are drinking. period.)

Hope some of this helps as I believe it applies to any substance, not just alcohol.

As a recovering alcoholic with 20 years and eight months' sobriety, I congratulate you on your accomplishments and heartily endorse what you've said here. :up::up: You have described to a T what it takes to stay sober for the long haul. It doesn't mean that there aren't temptations to drink, even decades into sobriety, but NOTHING is worth picking up that first one. Thank you for sharing this.

Congratulations jesskidding, on your recovery. Like the other posters, kudos to you for reaching out on AN. I've been sober for a little over 4 years, 5 months and changed my career to nursing after I got sober.

Know that you're definitely not alone, and plenty of us can give you support -- we've been there.

You asked in your original post for advice, and the one thing that I would recommend is reading this article on post acute withdrawal syndrome. In short, it's that "fog" or "fuzziness" that plagues us in early recovery long after we detoxed. It's an important time in your journey to really be good to yourself, and give yourself a break. Things like memory loss, forgetfulness, and processing new information can really hurt our self esteem, and it's important to know it's your body healing itself, and no...you're not crazy. :)

Here's the article -- hope it helps:Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) | What…Me Sober?

Specializes in FMF CORPSMAN USN, TRUAMA, CCRN.
Hi JessKidding, I'm a nursing student who was an addict too.

It's not easy, I agree.

Today I'm filled with doubt. I don't know if I am supposed to be a nurse. I often can;t stand the nursing school experience. I'm not a kid and I have health issues. I am often antisocial, negative and judgemental but I try very hard to hide itl. I am on disability for depression, and I made a decision to withdraw from my ASN program in the second month of my second semester, and now I'm back starting at the beginning. Great grades, full of doubt.

It makes sense to get off the ____ before you get further in.

Sorry I'm not flowery spiritual and uplifting...I'm not feelin' it. But I don't get high...over anything.

zephyr9, But do you know what is great in spite of all of the adversity you have already faced and likely will continue to conquer, you haven't had a drink or used drugs. You said the magic words in the last line of your post, "But I don't get high... over anything." You may not feel all flowery and uplifting, but you are working your program, whether you know it or not, and for that, I congratulate you. I too am often anti social, I prefer the solitude of my own home rather than the hustle and bustle of crowded and busy places. I find I prefer the company of my dogs rather than company of other people. I am in a better position than you are though as I'm retired and not forced to go out into the work place every day. You, on the other hand will be forced to bite the bullet and endure the magnitudes until such times as you can retire. I suggest you start writing a journal, put your deepest, darkest thoughts into words. Once you write it down, resist the urge to change anything you've written, and alway, always , write your first thoughts. Keep your Journal somewhere it can't get damaged or erased, and if possible, make a duplicate copy and store it someplace else so you'll have it in case something happens. You can do this either on disk or on printed paper. Disk would seem to make the most sense, but whatever works for you. You will understand after a while, why I am suggesting this. I am a recovering alcoholic, I haven't had a drink since February 11th, 1996 or for 6065 days or even more truthfully, since I got up this morning. Even those of us with a little time under our belts, have to be wary of the demon as we can sometimes become complacent and with complacency comes laxity and slips and pretty soon 16 years of sobriety is thrown away. So you are absolutely right, Just don't drink, even if your A$$ falls off. Translated, that means, you don't drink under any circumstances, period.

Haha, I have to chuckle reading your post! I have journals from----geez, when I first started using! AND from when I first got clean. I have to not look at them cuz, wow, what a distraction down memory lane. The early clean time ones are good though, the things that obsessed me then are so past tense now..

The OP strikes me as being all in for nursing 100%..when I got into school a couple years into my recovery, I became all about school. When I got accepted into the nursing program after 2 years of school, I hit my peak. That was in June...at that point, I was out of meetings sponsorless, just me my old man my kids and school school school.. by the start of the nursing program the following Sept, I was out of my mind with anxiety and isolation and depression, and had to go on meds. They worked great til February, 2nd semester, then I crashed...they had been stimulating..(fluoxetine) I couldn't think right and I had to withdraw. I've spent all my time since then doing self care. Not as many meetings as would make a good AA smile and nod his head, but, a lot of work with diet and CBT, addressing an eating disorder, food allergies. For me there was/is a whole lotta crap under that addiction that I get to work on.

So, for JessKidding, that's what finding balance looks like. Losing it, first. A bunch. So you can then realize that you NEED it, and then go find it. Within.

Courage, faith and perserverence, to do nursing school new in recovery. I'm glad you have family support. .

And Corpsman, I'm jealous of your dogs! I LOVE dogs!! (achoo! achoo!)

Hey JessKidding, how are you? Sure hope you're hangin in there on the sunny side of the street!

Specializes in FMF CORPSMAN USN, TRUAMA, CCRN.

I take it from the sound of sneezes, you suffer from allergies, that's terrible if you love dogs. I really don't think I would find life worth living, if I couldn't share my life with dogs. I know that may sound strange to most of you, but I have a feeling a few of you will understand what I mean. Dogs don't have an agenda and they love you unconditionally, they never want to argue over what is on TV and they never try to hog the remote control. What is not to love?

Hello!

Yes,I am still doing great. No relapse or cravings. I'm proud of myself, but I'm still hanging in there! It's been hard a few times, but I got through it. Thank you for asking!

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