In need of advice, not sure what to do now.

Nurses Recovery

Published

Hi everybody,

I'm new to the sight and I've got a problem and need advice on what to do now. First off let me tell you my back story: I'm a RN in Missouri and have been a nurse for 8 years. I've was a supervisor on nights on a ortho/neuro floor. At the end of May I was brought in for questioning about my Dilaudid pull count being higher than everybody else. I came clean to my manager and admitted that I had been diverting narcotics for myself for about a year and a half and was wanting to come clean. I knew that my urine drug test would be positive. I use to tell myself that it was ok because I wasn't using at work and I never short changed a patient dose on pain meds, cause I would save the wasted narcotics and take them home.

That next Monday June 3rd I went to my hospitals Employee Assistance Program (EAP) and was offered the chance to join the hospitals Recovery program. I started on the next day and went to 10 outpatient settings throughout June. During this time I found out from a friend that I was gonna be fired at the meeting about the test results and so I decided to resign from my job, my hospital unfortunately has a zero tolerance policy. But since I came clean and surrendered my job and went into treatment the hospital is not gonna press charges.

The program was great and I was glad to be in it. I learned that yes I was an addict (in my mind I was telling myself that I wasn't while I was using). I have had 5 urine drug test there and they all came back negative. I have also started attending NA meetings as well and they have been helpful. And I've felt no cravings or desire to use since all this started, I never want to go to that again.

During June I also sent in a letter to the BON in Missouri telling them what I had done, but the hospital had already sent a letter. I talked to the investigator and he said that it could be a long while before a decision is made, due to the length of time it takes to investigate and how many cases the BON has to see. He said that I could work since my license was in good standing for the time being.

That is the problem for me, my manager also suggested that I should work a contract RN job to make to quick cash. But I just don't know, (I know that if I work as a staff RN somewhere that I will be exposed to narc's again but I know I will never use again, all this pain is just not worth it!) I was also thinking of trying for a permanent job that doesn't have access to narc's like case work or even Dialysis. But I kind of don't want to try for a permanent job till I know how the BON will rule. I also don't have enough money to afford an attorney and if I don't find a job soon I'll have to move out of my apartment and move in with my sister and her husband who have been very supportive during all of this.

I know its gonna get better, "its always darkest before the dawn", but I wanna get going and get my life back on track and work, cause I love being a nurse!

Thank you for your time, Jason.

0 Votes

Hopefully you have at least consulted with an attorney.. If not you must find a way to. The BON is not your friend, and this is not going to be an easy process.

0 Votes
Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.

Hi Jason! I'm Anne and I'm an addict. I live in Louisiana and entered our state's RNP. Like you, when I admitted I had been diverting I was fired. No charges were filed, thankfully.

Like previous poster said, most BONs are not your friend - I know it's hard not working and having any income - if possible, contacting an attorney is a good idea. I wish I had.

Good luck to u, welcome to the recovery forum.

Anne, RNC

0 Votes

I just got a DUI, first offense, I am worried my license will be suspended. I know I made a grave mistake, but I am human. I got an attorney and have a court date in los Angeles. I did get an attorney but wonder what I should do about the BON. If I go to a diversion program they suspend your license, in which case I have no way to support myself. If any one has had a similar experience Please help with what you did and what the outcomes were. I did contact the BON, and at present am deferring diversion as they will suspend your license. I am soooo stressed out and very concerned. Any advice?

0 Votes
Specializes in Care Coordination, MDS, med-surg, Peds.

In Missouri, it will take anywhere from 1-2 YEARS before they investigate it and make a decision on your license. They only way they move quicker is if they decide you are immediate risk to harm a patient by your behavior or in the case of significant legal issues.

If you do not feel secure in practicing where you are exposed to Narcs, I would suggest finding something away from them, such as MDS, case management, etc. One condition of your probation/suspension, etc from the MOBON, will be that you HAVE to tell any prospective or current employer of your license disciplary action. The employer has certain responsibilties to perform during your probation period, so they will need copies of all paperwork regarding the discipline.

In MO, your license can be reprimanded(hand slap), probation, revoked or suspended. IN all the discipline categories, the "black mark" will remain on your license for the rest of your life. EVEN after you fulfill their requirements. And if you move to another state, the disciplinary action will remain on your nursys records that will be seen by any prospective employer fro as long as you practice.

MO has a ton of stuff they will require you to do in order to fulfill the requirements of the disciplinary order. When you find them all out, please, please, please don't make the mistake that many do...they don't follow the requirements to the letter and they only worsen their situation. DO everything they ask, wayy before their deadlines, set your cell phone alarm to call every day of the week, holidays, etc at the same time for the UDS tests. IF YOU MISS THESE, you will lose your license..not MAY lose your license...you WILL lose your license--happened to a friend of mine.

I know my words are not encouraging.. I have been there, done that with MO BON(I took some percocets w/o a script and failed a pee test prior to a job offer)(I had borrowed some from a family member while visiting due to pain, and unable to get in my dr's. I didn't have a valid script). I had probation x 3 years. I did everything they wanted-which was a ton of stuff-, didn't miss a pee test and got my probation ended after 18 months instead of 3 years.

Please hang in there... you will get thru this and come out a winner.... it is not easy.....but you can do it.. one day at a time, one task at a time... I would be glad to visit with you as you go thru this, if you want, just PM me.....

0 Votes

Thanks for your kind words mds1, its been really hard but I'm getting there. My EAP councilor told me to just apply for a permanent job and see what happens so I applied at Davita Dialysis and will be waiting to see if they will call me back. I told them briefly on the web application what was going on and also in a cover letter. She was saying its good to get a job where there are no meds and I wouldn't have to worry about teaching. She also said that she has dealt with other nurses with similar problems and she has never heard of the MO BON taking away a license on the first offence with no criminal charged being filed and she said it was good that I went right away into treatment.

I've got no problem doing all that is required of me by the MO BON, its just unnerving that its gonna take so long.

0 Votes
I just got a DUI, first offense, I am worried my license will be suspended. I know I made a grave mistake, but I am human. I got an attorney and have a court date in los Angeles. I did get an attorney but wonder what I should do about the BON. If I go to a diversion program they suspend your license, in which case I have no way to support myself. If any one has had a similar experience Please help with what you did and what the outcomes were. I did contact the BON, and at present am deferring diversion as they will suspend your license. I am soooo stressed out and very concerned. Any advice?

I am not 100% positive how it work's in California, but in Florida if you get a DUI you must report this information over to the BON or IPN (Our Diversion Program) within a period of time. I know in Florida they are slowly getting around in doing complete background check with each License Renewal. So, basically you might not tell them now, but they will find out before to long.

You might want to contact someone in a Legal Nursing Field about this before you go forward with anything.

Wish you the best of luck.

0 Votes
+ Add a Comment