Finally Made It!!!! Now what???

Nurses Recovery

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Specializes in Trauma/ER, Dialysis (yuck!).

I received a call from my monitoring specialist today from HPRP he said, "Andy, I am calling to tell you, you are offically a free man!" I cannot tell you how awesome I felt, I sat in my pt's room and started crying...I feel proud to have completed this long 4yr journey... anyway, not a few hours later and I realize somehting....I HAVE NOT ACCOUNTABILITY! I can go anywhere, anytime, drink anything and take anything............To be honest I'm a little scared......there have been times when that vial of dilaudid would have never been missed...my addicted brain convinced me I could only use it once................then I remembered I had not called in! Those days are gone now.......bitter sweet, scary, elation......scary.....happy.....scary.......think I'll hit a meeting after work!

Thanks for listening.

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best of luck to you minmi, just don't get ahead of yourself, I'm sure you know all the sayings!

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minimi,

Congratulations! the "sayings" saved my life. The one is live by is "hit fast forward" -- when a thought comes to my mind, i'm not responsible for it, but I am responsible for what I do with it. Play out the tape in your mind honestly, realize where that "just once, one more, etc" will take you. Then hit a meeting. Good luck!

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Specializes in ICU.

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!

Second,, yes, you are accountable,,, you are accountable to yourself, to your patients and to your loved ones. You are a free man! BUT, remember, you still have a responsibility to yourself!!! That is the most important of all! It will feel weird not to have to check in every morning,, and you will have nightmares about forgetting to call, then you'll take a sigh of relief and remember that you don't have to anymore :)

Congrats! And don't forget, YES, you are still accountable for your recovery my dear :)

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Congratulations!!!

Glad you hit a meeting and that you recognize that his is a vulnerable time. There's a guy in our meetings that did the monitoring program here in FL and the day he was set free went out and drank, shot crystal meth and lit wasn't long before he lost it all and has his licensed permanently revoked and is a waiter at the age of 40.

We all only have a daily repreive.

At the same time, feel good about your accomplishment.

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Specializes in ER.

Yeah! What a great feeling that must be. Congrats!

I am in hprp too. It hasn't been a year yet but I am glad that there is hope!

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Specializes in Trauma/ER, Dialysis (yuck!).

Thanks to everyone...still kinda wierd. Sassy, good luck...the second year was the fastest for me...I had fallen into the routine and actually started looking forward to group on Monday nights!

Don't push your luck, do EXACTLY what they want, and you will be done soon!

Thanks agian everyone, I am glad I found this thread.

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Specializes in Med-Surg., Agency Nursing, LTC., MDS..

Congratulations to you !! Keep up the great work. We only have today...

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Bittersweet! I am happy for you! Only six months into the program here.

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Specializes in Trauma/ER, Dialysis (yuck!).

Chief.....are you talking about hprp? (don't have to answer that) just curious. How is your program shaping up?

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Ya. My program is in full force. It is working. I can let it get to me if I want but really try not to let it. I am a few months in with a recent lifting of my voluntary surrender of my license. Now I am seeking employment. I am headed in the right direction.

How are you with being done? I bet 100lbs went off your shoulders!

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Specializes in Trauma/ER, Dialysis (yuck!).

Yeah, more like 1,000 lbs....I just got the official discharge letter.....not gonna lie, I actually started crying when I read it.....It's wierd.....I was at a wedding this weekend......everyone partying, living the life I used to.....its then I realized I don't want that life anymore....I am grateful for the program, good luck, keep me posted on how your job search is going. Any leads? What are your interests?

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