The Worst Hospital Visitor I've Ever Seen

Not every family who visits is there to be supportive of the patient. Some of them are even downright unsupportive. Here are some of the worst visitors I've ever seen -- how about you? Nurses Relations Article

There are so many . . . . how to choose?

There was the woman who'd had an aortic dissection repair, and things didn't go well. She had a perioperitive MI, a CVA and sepsis. All told, she was a patient in our ICU for six months. I didn't hear much about the patient's life from HER; she was confused and mostly nonverbal.

Her sister, however, sat at her bedside for hours and wanted to chat with the nurse. The sister, Katie, was a nice person and since I had just moved to the area, gave me a lot of tips about restaurants to try, where NOT to get your car repaired, and the like.

The HUSBAND, Milton, rarely showed up and when he did, he was the type of man who bellowed about "his rights" rather than understanding that when the patient is in CT (or having a line placed), the patient is unavailable for visitors, even of the spousal nature.

Katie put up pictures in the patient's room -- a smiling picture of her and her sister together, and multiple pictures of the patient's beloved dogs. "They're just like her children," Katie explained. "Milton never wanted children." Tellingly, there were no picture of Milton in the room.

He and Katie barely spoke and Katie told us that when Milton married her sister, he quit working and expected that she would support him, do all the cooking and cleaning and take care of his mother as well. As for the patient, she lit up whenever Katie arrived, but shut down whenever Milton did.

One weekend afternoon, Milton showed up just as I was helping the patient's nurse finish a bath and linen change. Without waiting for the two of us to finish up or get the dirty linen out of the way, Milton leaned over the bed and whispered (loudly enough for the patient and both of the nurses in the room to hear) "I killed your dogs. I said I would do it, and I did." That man has to take the prize for being ONE of the worst hospital visitors I've ever seen.

Years ago, when I worked in CCU, a 58 year old woman was admitted in cardiogenic shock. We placed a balloon pump, lined her, gave her multiple doses of morphine and finally, scheduled surgery for the following day. (The surgeon wanted to do it immediately, but there was already an emergency surgery in progress and the on call OR team were already in that OR.)

At six the next morning, I'm filling out the pre-op check list and a woman breezes in with two toddlers in tow. As I tried to explain to her that visitors under sixteen weren't allowed in the CCU, she told me that she had "just come to drop off her kids for their granny to watch."

Then there was the visitor who injected the patient with some street drug, right through the conveniently placed central line, because "Y'all don't give him none of the good stuff in here."

the-worst-hospital-visitor-ive-ever-seen.pdf

One place I worked had an elderly woman who was very ill and intubated. She was the primary caregiver to her elderly husband who had Alzeimers. The patient's son would bring the husband to visit early in the morning and leave him at the hospital all day, and the pick him up in the evening. Needless to say that if you were the nurse assigned to this woman, not only did you take care of her, but also her husband. When the son was told that he couldn't just leave his father at the hospital all day, he said that he had to work and had nobody to look after his father.

The hospital isn't free adult day care.

Wow. Sounds like elder negligence to me.

Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

I've had numerous cases of family members dropping off the demented spouses of the patient both in LTC and acute care. They go to work all day, shopping,to a wedding-you name it. Never left a sandwich ,either. Took care of an elderly gentleman who's wife was still living with the daughter and she was more cognitively impaired then our resident, the husband. The daughter had to keep someone home so she could keep the house. She would drop her mother off most weekends, incontinent to boot. The resident would feed her half his tray. It was sad. It didn't take long before the Office of Aging was called. They both lived out their days with us. Their daughter was seldom seen.

I'm sure many of you have probably observed or participated in a code on a visitor. Not fun. And you knew it was coming-that's the worst part.

One of the worst families I knew had a LOL in acute care, she had been living with a grandchild who was robbing her blind, including her pain meds. By the time she was admitted and the Office of Aging became involved she weighed 62 lbs. The whole clan camped out around the hospital. We were reported for "doing our nails at the nurse's station" one day-we were reading the telemetry strips. I guess they thought the calipers were some kind of manicuring tool. The little lady was so filthy on admission, she smelled so bad, her finger and toe nails looked like Pringles-horrible.The crap that had grown in her mouth on and under her dentures was horrific. -The family reported us because they wanted us to wash her hair. It was so matted it had to be cut off-it came off in one piece.

Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

My mom told the story (unfortunately) of the woman in the bed next to her post delivery after my sister was born (40+ years ago, so they were truly maternity wards, multiple beds/patients). She and her husband wanted to (and did) have sex before her anesthesia/epidural wore off because they both knew it would be a few weeks before they'd be attempting intercourse after the baby. Can you imagine coitus IMMEDIATELY after delivery. And with nothing but a curtain to separate you from your ward-mates. Thank you Mom, my legs just got a little weak just thinking about that story again!

Even if the girlfriend wanted to have sex immediately after surgery, what about the patient in the next bed being forced to listen to that? What is she needed to go to the bathroom and didn't want to walk past the BF in her hospital gown? Didn't that other patient have any rights at all?

My co-workers walked into a patients room one day to find a son strangling his elderly mother (patient) with the oxygen tubing!! Yes the police were called.

Specializes in ICU.

I just caught my patient having sex with her boyfriend recently. The joke was on him because even though he was really disruptive and disrespectful, my patient was HIV+. She had let all of us know that she was the only one who knew about her diagnosis and we were absolutely not to discuss it in front of her boyfriend. I'm really not sure which of them I disliked the most by the end of the shift. I guess like attracts like...

Oh, and I caught two of this same patient's visitors coming out of the family restroom across the hall together giggling and holding hands. That corner of the ICU was basically the hook-up corner all night long. Oh, and we found an empty liquor bottle hidden inside of the room closet later on. It was ridiculous.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Milton should have been removed and reported for spousal abuse. Useless cowpuck.

What the heck is wrong with people... sex in a hospital? Seriously?

Yes...seriously.. :blink:

Or oral on the patio at the acute rehab hospital...showing in said room and walking around naked and asking for toiletries...and suspected drug abuse from the SO and the pt...

The real kicker is when they ALLOWED the said suspected individual to go out on a pass...but it was that person's lucky day-they had ME. :cheeky:

I reported that individual off to the supervisor when they didn't come back from their pass at the designated time...ended up coming back slumped in the wheelchair unresponsive twelve hours approximately after the designated time...oh it was 4 o'clock but NOT AM!!!

They (FINALLY) kicked this individual out, after verbally abusing (not me, I squashed the first time I had the individual) staff and the suspected drug abuse and sexual acts, including intercourse and what have you...

This was almost ten years ago...Bending over backwards and the emphasis of "soft skills only!" in certain places that I worked for has been happening for sometime now; I'm know I'm prepared for it, and usually can minimize most of the foolishness... :eek:

Specializes in CVICU.

While I can appreciate the thrill of sex in a public place, there is something about doing it in a hospital room or waiting room that just wreaks of "no class".

Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

Seriously what the **** is wrong with people these days?

Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
I just caught my patient having sex with her boyfriend recently. The joke was on him because even though he was really disruptive and disrespectful, my patient was HIV+. She had let all of us know that she was the only one who knew about her diagnosis and we were absolutely not to discuss it in front of her boyfriend. I'm really not sure which of them I disliked the most by the end of the shift. I guess like attracts like...

Oh, and I caught two of this same patient's visitors coming out of the family restroom across the hall together giggling and holding hands. That corner of the ICU was basically the hook-up corner all night long. Oh, and we found an empty liquor bottle hidden inside of the room closet later on. It was ridiculous.

I thought there was a law against knowingly exposing someone to HIV (sexually) without informing them? Or maybe I'm thinking of an episode of law n order SVU lol

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
I thought there was a law against knowingly exposing someone to HIV (sexually) without informing them? Or maybe I'm thinking of an episode of law n order SVU lol

I know in my state they prosecute people for doing this. It's been awhile, but it came on the news-and not after Law and Order SVU either. ;)

I think Milton would get reported to APS and the ASPCA.

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

Daughter was staying in the room for her dying mother for around a week. Mother passes. Wake daughter up to inform her, and allow her a few minutes alone with mother before we prepare her for the transfer to funeral home. Go back in the room and daughter has gone back to bed AND placed the oxygen back on mom's face!

Remove oxygen, wake daughter up again, ask for funeral home info. She gets up with a heavy sigh, opens her address book and plops it down on deceased mother's chest, flips through it and gives me the info.

Make the phone call, go back to help daughter pack up the room. (This is a small, rural hospital and the room in question is the only available room in the facility- ER has a patient waiting for bed placement.) She's back in bed and (of course) oxygen is back on mother.

Funeral home guy arrives. Wake up daughter again (after removing oxygen yet again so funeral home guy won't think I'm completely nuts.). Daughter produces a picture of deceased and tells funeral home guy that this is how she wants mom to look in casket. He, very kindly, says "I'm just the person who transports. When you have your appointment to make arrangements, the funeral director will get all of this information from you." After transferring the remains to the cart, daughter comes out of the bathroom with two outfits on hangers. Asks funeral guy, "Which should I wear to the viewing and which for the funeral?"

Funeral guy beats a hasty retreat. I get a cart to assist daughter with moving stuff out. She hands me her car keys and says "When you finish packing up, put it all in my trunk." Um, no. She finally vacates room, I have a CNA assist her with getting everything to the parking lot. But, of course, she returns and asks to see the menu so she can 'order breakfast'.

The CNA that participated in this craziness with me lives near me. It's been 10 years, and we still just break out in hysterics every time we make eye contact.