Preceptor From Hell-Need Advice - page 5

I spent 12 hours with the preceptor from hell last week, and I’m dreading going back to work tomorrow. A little background: I completed my 7th week of orientation at a new facility, having 3... Read More

  1. by   sunshines66
    Years ago I had an awful preceptor. She made my orientation last a couple weeks longer than was necessary. She was a backup preceptor, but when she found a "problem" with me, they kept me with her to see what would happen. As I was new and unwilling to ruffle feathers. I did not protest as I was sure things would not go my way. I completed the additional two weeks and she passed me with flying colors. I know it is annoying to have people who precept that are not equipped to do it. Actually, she became such a non-issue for me afterward. We worked different shifts on different days so I didn't ever give her report or see her. Sometimes sucking it up is the best answer. Ask her specific things you can do to improve. Put the burden of proof back on her. Your example of giving oral care too long. Did the patient suffer? Did the sats drop? Did you need to give more sedation? Was another patient neglected because you took so long? Did the parents complain? Did you hold up doctors doing rounds?

    It is a sad thing that there are just horrible people out there. She sounds as though she was having a bad day working a double. Is she use to precepting? Everything takes longer when you are waiting on another to do it. Maybe she needed a bathroom break and you were doing oral care. I know I don't have much patience when I need to go.

    Hope things are getting better. If you are still in orientation make sure you are asking your preceptor on a daily basis to let you know how you are doing so you don't compound any problems. I have found that sometimes listening to someone's complaints makes them less angry over time. Always insist on being told negative things in private and not where others can overhear it. Work on the "killing her with kindness". If she wants a rise out of you but does not get it the pursuit gets old fast.
  2. by   TeeDotNurse
    Quote from SaltySarcasticSally
    Well there is always one little toxic turd in the bunch isn't there. I know you already spoke to your educator, if it were me and I only had to be with her once, I just would have said I prefer not to placed with her and lightly skim the why.

    But, that does not mean you can't stand up for yourself. When I run into those types, I usually like to meet it head on, especially if I am new. In a non-defensive manner, I would say something like "I noticed you seem frustrated with me, I really want to do well here and get off on the right foot, do you mind going over with me what is causing the friction?". Now, in my head I am thinking stop being such a miserable human being and get the stick outta your behind but your new and you need to not become a target. This has worked for me all but one time, if it does not work, then I just deflect any negative comments, continue on with my life, and the offender usually gets bored. If it does work, I will even through in a little bit about how they have worked there for a long time and it would benefit me to hear about their expertise. I may not actually mean it at the time and I am guessing this isn't the popular action to take but it usually puts me on good terms with someone. I don't see this as letting someone walk all over me, I see it as saving myself future headaches and stress. Its no fun to bully someone who clearly isn't taking offense to it.
    This. This worked for me in the past also. I always try to work out problems I may have with someone directly first before going above their head. Especially if it isn't someone you need to work closely with long term. Wouldnt be worth it to me, personally, to go to management about this. Also it's good practice with being assertive and problem-solving. all the best to the OP with her new position!
  3. by   workinmomRN2012
    Quote from vanessaem
    No one has time to deal with toxic, bullying behavior from coworkers. Being rotten and disgusting towards fellow staff is not cute nor should it be tolerated. We're all supposed to be grown people here.

    No, the OP should not have to suck it up and just take it. And so what if she's not liked by others for standing up for herself? This is a job not a popularity contest. That preceptor was unprofessional and unhelpful. The OP will never learn this way...period.
    I had a bad experience with another RN who just happened to work nights and she has been a nurse for a very long time, so she should know better.
    This nurse decided that she could critisize me in front of all the other nurses one night over the staff assignment that night for the incoming shift, her shift. I let her rant because if I said anything I probably would have gotten fired. So, I waited until the next day and talked to her privately and told her that I did not like the way she spoke to me, I thought that it was very unprofessional and that I would appreciate it if she didnt speak to me like that again.
    She did not take it well, even though I was respectful and calm. She said that it would never happen again and walked away in a huff.
    Within about a month she was finally talking normally to me again. Im a firm believer in "teaching" people how to treat me, how will she know if I dont tell her? Shes been doing this for a while, its ingrained. If people let her get away with it, she will continue to do it!
  4. by   Skippingtowork
    I have seen new nurses take longterm staff into a private area and let them know that their behavior was unacceptable. They also inform them that they are willing to learn and be part of the team. The longterm staff may be upset for awhile, but the behavior stops. I had one person be very rude to me on several occasions when I started a job, but I said nothing and did not react (trying to be good). The behavior even interfered with patient care The individual did not speak to me for years, then started trying to be nice.

    Also, there's people who are so task oriented that if you do something different from them or ask a question as to why they're doing a procedure a certain way, they get irritated. They can do their job, but don't make good teachers.
  5. by   hewert
    You got lucky! Nasty people are a gift. You are probably really busy right now, but use some of the free time you do have to study how to get along with difficult people. It can be done. Learn this now and and you will make the rest of your life easier! You can find a lot of info online.
    Believe me, this is an incredible skill to master.

    Now, for the super-rare people you just can't get to...DON'T ENGAGE.
  6. by   Sjamali25
    Quote from vanessaem
    I just don't understand why some of you feel that anyone who is "new" should put up with foul treatment from older staff members. Nursing as a profession is stressful enough for all sorts of other reasons. No one has time to deal with toxic, bullying behavior from coworkers. Being rotten and disgusting towards fellow staff is not cute nor should it be tolerated. We're all supposed to be grown people here.

    As a preceptor, they are there to teach and/or lead by example and if not, get out. Some of these folks act like someone forced them to take on this role. If that was the case, please don't take it out on the preceptee. They've got problems at home, with their job or with life in general? Please don't take it out on the preceptee. They're not there to be their personal punching bag. They are there to earn a living just like them.

    No, the OP should not have to suck it up and just take it. And so what if she's not liked by others for standing up for herself? This is a job not a popularity contest. That preceptor was unprofessional and unhelpful. The OP will never learn this way...period.


    This is the best comment I've read. Thank you for your insight. In my opinion, being a student/new nurse is stressful enough, and then to have someone unwilling to help, telling you the wrong information (what was that about??), scaring you into making sure you don't screw up by saying "I'm not getting blamed for this"....sorry I don't care how tough a day you've just had, you've just passed that negativity and miserable attitude to another person who is there to HELP you and LEARN from you.

    Im not saying jump down the preceptor's throat, but she definitely shouldn't smile in her face and act like a doormat to encourage this behavior. She should discuss with her directly about what her damage is, and how OP can help her cope in a productive way. Not sure why some of us believe hazing behavior is suddenly normalized in the nursing profession and part of the job. That's my perception of it.
  7. by   galnurse
    I experienced similar behavior with one preceptor, but she actually hit me. I had to make a report with the DON, but she still continued to work there, then it made it even worse for me since she told all of her "friends" what I had done.
  8. by   Horseshoe
    Quote from galnurse
    I experienced similar behavior with one preceptor, but she actually hit me. I had to make a report with the DON, but she still continued to work there, then it made it even worse for me since she told all of her "friends" what I had done.
    You should have pressed charges for battery.
  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    She HIT YOU???? Press charges. That is assault and battery and never, ever ok to even TOUCH you, let alone hit you. This person should have their license revoked permanently.
  10. by   Barbr93
    I know this is an older thread... but you could have described all but 2 of my preceptors in ICU, I had 3-4 nurses sit by and just watch as I tried to call MD, time seizures, and maintain the safety of the patient... as well as try to get someone to start calling for tests. I mean literally just stand by and watch.
    It felt like the mean girls of nursing.

    I hope you found a happy place to work😊
    I did, and I learned so much more with supportive encouraging people. ❤️
  11. by   Renell
    How terrible!

    I know it seems daunting, but I would report this. This is very unprofessional behavior. We are suppose to support each other, not treat this like high school. I hope things get better for you, and I am sorry you had to go through this.
  12. by   fibroblast
    When I did a rotation in ICU, I noticed how unprofessional they were. Really? In ICU, where the sick die? I'll be sure to scope out the ICU if fam ever goes there.

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