Please Help - I have no where else to turn

[abbaking]

In a nutshell, I am so fed up with nursing that I will do anything to avoid it. 10 minutes into my shift it was a madhouse. I didnt ever recieve any report yet and The call lights were going off like crazy. I went into a room 12 to check on the lady in the second bed since she had called for something. I could not even get to her because the lady in bed one (whom I have never met before) began to verbally and physically attack me. This is only some of what the crazy lady in bed one said (replace with curse word in your mind since i cant post them on here) :

"Knock on the door you fat jerk. Are you a nurse or an idiot. Your a fat piece of lard. I have rights. I pay your salary and I dont care if Obama was here you will do what I say. I will find where you live and have you TAKEN CARE OF".

The patient began to throw the meal utensils at me and anything she could grab. I backed out of there.

In 10 years of bedside experience, I have NEVER seen this much verbal abuse and aggression directed towards me - EVER!!

And in 10 years of bedside experience i have never lost my cool - except tonight. I SCREAMED back at this vile lunatic of a person as loud as possible to back, relax, and not give me any crap cause I will not tolerate it. I told hee I have feelings too and she will not abuse me. My stress and anxiety boiled over and I lost my cool by screaming at her (although I must say, she did deserve it).

The lunatic called the house supervisor and demanded everything under the sun. At this point i was outside my body watching myself react. My adrenaline was in full swing, I was shaking uncontrolably and i was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown. I gathered my backpack and I left. I told the team leader the entire situation and she said to go home and relax. She said that I was not fit to work in the condition i was in being a nervous wreck.

Before I left i told the house supervisor my side of the story and email my boss. I am now home.

Regardless of how "I could have handled the situation differently", I want to make it very clear that this patient was beyond out of line. Nobody - NOBODY deserves what i experienced tonight.

I am in a deep state of shock right now. I am severely depressed and i have awful anxiety. I am so streesed. I am on one hand happy that i stood up for myself and put this lunatic back in her place. On the other hand I feel like an ass.

Regardless, I realized that I cant do nursing anymore. All the deliberate short staffing, terrible hours, bad working conditions, and stupid people all served as the backdrop for my breakdown tonight.

I dont think I can even go back to work. I am thinking about going to my doctor tomorrow and asking for emergency FMLA time (work induced stress/depression). I think I am going crazy.

If anyone can offer any advise or words of encouragement - I need it now. I am home crying and just feeling terrible

[CompleteUnknown]

That's absolutely horrible abbaking. Awful. No other way to describe it.

Give yourself some time before you decide 'that's it' though.

I wonder if, as horrible as it was, it was more that it was just the last straw that particular shift? Maybe you normally would have been outraged, furious, whatever, but been able to handle it?

I sometimes secretly wish that I was able to have a meltdown at work, it's so tempting and oh, to be able to scream and shout and say what I really think! It's just not me though. I either keep it inside or take it out on my family or friends. Neither of those options is good either - maybe we all need a kick boxing session after work.

A friend of mine works in an office and they have a 'quiet room' with a sofa, soft drinks and snacks. Anyone can go there for a break when they feel it's all getting to be a bit too much. I don't know, when the paperwork starts getting abusive or something. I'm kidding!!!! No disrespect to people who work in offices - I've done it myself and I know it can be extremely stressful. It's a different kind of stress though even when dealing with the public and even if we DID have a quiet room, we would never have time to go and sit in it!

Hope you start to feel a bit better soon. :hug:

[That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

I found that on the floor, people treating me like crap got under my skin a lot easier. People can be absolute dicks to me now and it bothers me a lot less. Take your time off, recoup and explore some options. No person, being a patient, family member, stranger ever has the right to treat you the way that they did. There is no excuse for it either.

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

I highly suggest you call your facilities Employee Assistance Program (EAP). They help with destressing over an incident just like this along with providing counseling over work-life balance and depression. Many progams have online information with some EAP having 3 free sessions.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

So sorry to hear this happen to you. If you can get FMLA- do it - maybe so you can clear your head. I've come to the conclusion that almost all people are a-holes, and if they arent that, they are psychos. Then the management goes and pats the perps on the back and says sorry, bla bla bla. That only perpetuates this crap. I just wish someday that all nurses could walk off the job until they were treated with better conditions. But of course thats fantasy.

maybe with some time off you could re-evaluate a different job. I'm going to try that before totally throwing in the towel.

I wish there was a way to just forget all this. Soul sucking to say the least. I'm sorry :-(

[merlee]

I, too, am so sorry this happened to you. I agree with NRSKaren about contacting your EAP first thing this morning. If you have insurance, contact a mental health professional thru them, as well.

You may be able to get some days off for stress-related illness, but be careful about going the FMLA route just yet. BTW, most places require a minimum of a year of employment before you can apply for FMLA.

You will survive this, and be stronger for having gone through it.

Best wishes.

[sauconyrunner]

I do think you need time off. We all have days like this- well, at least that was a fairly normal day when I worked in the Emergency Department. And of course, you have already figured out that there are better ways to handle it. But, this is where you ended up. I'd take some time off, and I would look into a different area of nursing. No area is perfect, but there probably is one that won't leave you shaking and screaming, that is just too unpleasant to go through on a daily basis.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Take time off for you, see your doctor. I am sorry this happend to you.

Remember, you have the control. You can't control someone's behavior, but your reaction to it.

The first foul word out of a patient's mouth, and the supervisor can take care of it from there.

Engaging is, as you have now learned, just something that patient's such as this learn to escalate.

That is when we thank the makers of Haldol, Zyprexa, Seroquel, and all the other little lovelies that help with

psychotic behaviors.....hugs.

[OCNRN63, RN]

i haven't read what anyone else posted yet, and i almost didn't finish your entire post because my reaction to the first few sentences was so strong.

do you have security at your facility? if you do, i would have stopped what i was doing and called them, then i would have called the attending. the whole "how could you have handled this differently?" is just bs. no one does anything to deserve that sort of abuse.

just knowing myself, i know what i would have said to a patient who did that to me. you have to decide for yourself if you want to respond verbally to that kind of treatment, but for a certainty no one deserves to be treated that way.

i would be willing to bet that patients like this one would never dream of treating their physicians this way. i believe we are reaping what we sow when it comes to treating patients like they're guests in the hilton. it's about time we go back to the days when people in the hospital/nursing home had more respect for their caregivers.

[OCNRN63, RN]

i am sorry you went through this.

that being said...this is why it is so important to stay professionally neutral, not get emotionally involved, and treat the resident's room like it is their home.

you should feel sorry for the resident, she obviously has problems and is most likely coping in a negative fashion. feel blessed that you have a home to go to where you can sleep in a room by yourself.

it was wrong of her to verbally and physically assault you, it was more wrong of you to react unprofessionally and sink to her level and yell back.

when a 2 year old yells at you do you scream back?

feel sorry for her? feel sorry for someone who threatens me? you go ahead and sign up for that gig. i want to work with co-workers who have my back and don't facilitate this sort of behavior.

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

does your employer offer an employee assistance program? Ours is thru our health insurance, but even if you are not on the plan you still can take advantage of the EAP. Call HR and ask about it. That way you can get some counseling at no charge. It might help you learn to cope. Meanwhile, I am sorry you had this experience.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Chances are the patient was demented. If you hadn't been so fried, you could have handled it differently.

She was your emotional trigger.

Deep breaths.... exercise.... get some stat counseling ( EAP was the best advice) and take care of YOURSELF for a change.

Good luck, keep us posted.

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

OP you are human first, then a nurse. We can all handle things better but sometimes it just does not happen.There were times when my "therapuetic" communication took the back seat, and I had to let a pt. know what I would not tolerate.

Rest up, try to do something you enjoy, and hopefully things will be better tomorrow. Another day is sometimes all we need. If getting out of bedside is what you need to do, then do it and don't apologize for it.

Take care and God bless. Sending hugs your way.