Nurses Calling Patients "Jerks"

[PacoUSA]

I am a new nurse, and I hope I don't ever become one of these nurses. I work on a demanding medicine floor, where many patients become quite needy and require a lot of attention from the nurses. I have been appalled to notice that some of the nurses on my floor resort to bashing patients while they are at the nurses station. I have heard some of them refer to certain difficult patients as jerks (or worse), and if told by the CNA or another nurse that their patient needs pain meds, they roll their eyes and in a huff go to pain scale them.

I don't know if I am wrong in feeling the way I do. I know how hard our jobs are and I realize it's therapeutic for nurses to vent about their work, but this just seems to go beyond venting. I don't feel patients deserve to be name-called at all. Some of these nurses are also the same ones that say on report that certain patients are difficult to handle in some way, but then when I have them, I get along with them very well (except for one old lady I once had, she was nice to no one, but I never bashed her with other nurses). So I take with a grain of salt what nurses report to me about the patient's demeanor. Perhaps I have a different approach? Sometimes I do give off a "I will take great care of you but I won't tolerate crap" approach. Perhaps also because I am male? Who knows.

Thanks for listening. This has been bugging me for a little while and just wanted to put it out there.

[Mas Catoer]

Being a Male nurse for 30 years. But never call them jerks or what refers to it. See it as a matter of habit. If we allow ourselves once calling them jerks there is strong probability we will let ourselves do more, at last we can simply figure out how jerks are taking care of jerks. Not really nice situation to be in with for 8 hours a day. Spending working hour in unhappy situation isn't really life to live on.

Many patients and their significant others are really have no manners, demanding, have no respect. But one thing for sure, whether they within their conscience or not, they need us.

Sometimes just consider them as children, that helps a lot.

Venting can be done in more constructive ways. Go bowling, soccer, skating, joining a gymn, etc.

Me myself do play badminton on Wednesday and Friday (can shout while play it ) and biking on every other day.

It's a choice to make actually. But do make the good one.

Sorry for my English.

[PacoUSA, BSN, RN]

Just curious...why do you think that it is "presumptuous and false" to think you'll never become "one of those nurses"? Do you mean you'll never say anything bad about another person? I'm not trying to antagonize you here...I guess I just want to know what you mean by that.

Because I was raised not to bash people like that and call them names? I have had my share of situations in my lifetime where I have had to deal with difficult people but have never resorted to calling them names with anyone. I don't see myself starting to do that now that I am in my 40s. That does not make me better than anyone that does, it's just the way I am. I know many people find that hard to believe, but that is the way it is.

I personally don't feel it's necessary for nurses to call patients derogatory names even if they in fact are the worst patients ever, but inevitably there will always exist nurses that will. But within earshot of patients rooms at the nurses station? It's especially heinous.

[bratmobile]

Oh wow I am changing jobs now but where I am finishing up this is so common,, sometimes the comments are really loud and I feel embarassed because other patients and/or their family members can totally hear even the F Bomb going off at the the nurses station..I just cringe every time lol.. the person really is a jerk but I would never say it really loud at the nurses desk,,I prefer to go in the kitchen:jester:

[Novo]

If someone is being a Jerk I'll let them know obviously with tactful and respectful language. Some people actually don't know when they're being a jerk, if you tell them usually they fall back.

[Candyn]

I personally do not see anything wrong with nurses saying bad but relevant stuffs about patients. I meant I can listen to it and choose to trust it or not when I come in and interact with patients, however at least I know what I will walk into. I rather over prepared than under prepared. Trust me, if you have a patient who is manipulative and bad mouth about everything and other nurses you would want to know and chart/cover your a** everytime you are in that room.

[flowerfield]

I had a patient ring the call bell at the end of a twelve hour shift to ask me, "did you even bother looking in the mirror lately? you're really an ugly mess."

And no, the person wasn't diagnosed with dementia-- it was a relatively healthy young person who was angry about not being allowed out to smoke.

Yup, that was a jerk.

[Dezy]

I think no matter what job you have your going to work with jerks, and you will eventually verballize it outloud. Everyone does it to vent. Getting a lot of grief from people is going to happen and telling yourself you have to sit there and smile sweetly everytime someone treats you like crap is just botteling it up. I don't think saying it in front of a patient is a good idea, but I've heard storys of people simply saying that or worse to a patient and then somehow finding a mutual respect or tolerence. I wish people could get past that stupid customer service bullcrap.

Patients are people too and so are nurses. Lets not forget that. :)

[RainMom]

I wish people could get past that stupid customer service bullcrap.

My facility has just started scheduling a mandatory 3 part seminar on customer service:banghead:

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Let me just clarify that I was on this same unit for months as a student before I was hired on as staff 2 months ago, so I have had ample opportunity to work with many of these difficult patients, while also recognizing that I still have more to see. Sure, I may have had negative thoughts about some of them, but never would I vent with the staff in such a negative way. I am very neutral in my comments and don't resort to name calling, and that is just my nature overall. I don't want to develop a reputation for doing things like this. It is presumptuous and false to think that I will become one of these nurses eventually. I am not a 20-something new grad with no life experience. I had a 15-year career before nursing where I worked with even worse clients, clients that were not sick but had other non-health related problems. Never once did I name call them behind their backs. I can't imagine that nursing would change my personality so drastically.

Two whole months as a nurse and you're judging your colleagues already. If you're not going to ever vent with "the staff" (and who am I to say what you will or won't do), who ARE you going to vent to? If you bring it here, those who remember this post may feel called upon to tell you they told you so. And if you hold it in until you EXPLODE, that will be messy.

I don't know what your career was before you became a nurse, but I'm willing to bet that you never had anyone deliberately poop in the bed, then smile at you and tell you you had to clean it up. Nursing doesn't change your personality, but patients can get under your skin in ways that very few others can.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

A professional nurse should not be calling a patient a "jerk" or any other derogatory name. The nurse has a right to think whatever he/she wants about the patient as we are all human. That being said, the nurse must self-examine daily...why do I not like this patient? Is it personal? Can I provide professional nursing care to this patient, despite my feelings?

Sure, there are "jerks" everywhere...yes, we do have some "jerks" as patients, but we cannot label patients...this promotes bias in our coworkers as well. If I give report to the next shift, calling a patient a "jerk" is this next nurse already predestined to look at the patient in a negative way?

I am a psych nurse who lives by the saying "QTIP" (quit taking it personal).

I wonder how much of your attitude is because you are a psych nurse. We're not all psych nurses, and most of us never stop to analyze the way you have. We're too busy, and it doesn't come naturally to us. My calling a patient a jerk in the break room when he's ripped out his Foley AGAIN because he likes having my young, cute orientee come in and replace it probably does not impact his care in any way. Although I can see where it might if I were caring primarily for his mental health issues.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

gotta say I agree with the new nurse theroy.. there is NO WAY you'll make many years without running into at least one patient who'll make you seriously consider the many inappropriate use of pillows.. :) and yep.. I have often been given reports where I was told a patient was violent, hateful, hard to handle.. and your right.. it's the perception.. and then again.. I've had super hard time with some that other nurses had a great time with ... but the others are right... DO NOT DISCUSS OR TALK ABOUT PATIENTS AT THE NURSING STATION.. HALLWAYS.. RESTROOMS.. that can loose ya yer license.. get ya in trouble and in general cause ya some problems.. but know in your heart... it'll happen.. it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad nurse.. it makes you human. Good luck with your career.

In all my years, I've never heard of anyone "loosing" their license from talking about patients in the nursing station or employee bathroom.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

I thought I lost my license once while I was venting about a patient in the nurse's station. Then I checked my wallet and it was still there, so it was all good.