My God, these family members!!

Nurses Relations

Published

They are just killing me. Why is it that so many of them feel so entitled to sit in their aging parents rooms and just boss us nurses to HELL and back, while they sit there, fully able to do much of what we're doing for their parent, but simply do NOT have the time to do when we have other patients and issues to deal with. i MEAN -- can't they get mom up at least perhaps ONCE during the day? Does it have to be a nurse doing it every single time, ten times a day??

I just came off a shift tonight where I literally waitressed all day long, making and fetching coffee and water and 100 millions cups of juice for these patients (because we're always short a tech) -- and a patient's daughter was literally screaming at nurses at change of shift to come in and do something or other for her mother. It was absolutely NOT an emergency. (She was actually screaming -- "Good thing it WASN'T an emergency!!" These people have been on our unit for over 2-3 weeks, running every nurse on the unit ragged. Their mother is far over 80 years old and is only going to head to weeks of rehab after being on our unit. They want a private nurse -- that is what they want and need. But they can't get that on a floor. I think their call light was on for perhaps five minutes, max.

I am just SO tired of family members not understanding what we do -- and our managers from the floor to the corporate headquarters not backing us up to explain it to them. We are simply to treat everyone as our "family members" and go above and beyond 1000 percent of the time. Who goes above and beyond FOR NURSES??? DOES ANYONE???

We have no private space to do our charting, we are like fish in a bowl for these family members. If they see you at the nursing station -- that's it. They are ON YOU like flies. If they don't have a reason to bug you, they will find one. So, you don't get your charting done on time and are left to stay after a shift for an hour.

I am just so tired of it. So burnt out. Is it any wonder why they can't keep nurses for long? I mean -- come on, management -- take a LOOK at what you are doing to nurses nowadays. Put some LIMITS, please, on these family members. It is OUT OF CONTROL. :madface:

Specializes in Staff nurse.
There have been documented patient complaints, where pt family members came to the desk and asked for the nurse. They were told the nurse was at lunch. Instead of asking for someone else, or further assistance, the family member went back to the room, and the pt then had to wait until the nurse came back from lunch. One time it was for pain meds, the other time it was for difficulty breathing.

Don't ask me why the families didn't ask for someone else...but this is the reason given to us why we were told we are no longer allowed to say the nurse is at lunch.

The person at the desk should have asked if it was a problem that needed immediate attention! This is called team work. When one nurse leaves the floor for a meal, another is supposed to cover! It is not up to the family member to ask for someone else. Most hospitals have some kind of policy in place for when one is on a break so that these kinds of things are dealt with.

I have encountered family member of a pt. who isn't mine asking a question in the hallway. I can do a quick check to see if it life-threatening, then tell them all I am not the nurse for this pt. but I will alert him/her to the situation. If it is for a PRN pain med, if I have the time, after I check with the nurse, I can help out and give it.

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That's a thought! Though, I doubt the CEO is going to get the pt. a sugar free soft drink.

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Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
Don't forget to tell them you washed your hands, LOL!!!!!!!!

Yeah...probably. But they might call less often if you leave them guessing.

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

And make sure you say "Is there anything else you need, I have the time."

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Don't forget to tell them you washed your hands, LOL!!!!!!!!

Yeah....I think I'd rather leave them guessing....:lol2:

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.
Yeah....I think I'd rather leave them guessing....:lol2:

Let them play "Which bug is on the nurse's hands today?" Is it C-diff, MRSA, VRE or all of the above.

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I was bugged to death every 20 minutes by a family member's son who apparently expected me to call the doctor every 20 minutes over every little thing . I work 16 hour shifts every weekend. When my shift was over, I was so totally exhausted and burned out from dealing with this man. I was furious but I kept my mouth shut figuring he would report me to the day shift supervisor on Monday if I wasn't nice. The most shocking thing happened on Monday. Apparently, he went after the day shift nurse and bugged her to death too. However, she was so angry that she reported the man to the administrator. The administrator told the son that his behavior would not be tolerated and told him that if he didn't like the way his father was being treated that it would be best if he took his father elsewhere!!!!:yeah:

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I was bugged to death every 20 minutes by a family member's son who apparently expected me to call the doctor every 20 minutes over every little thing . I work 16 hour shifts every weekend. When my shift was over, I was so totally exhausted and burned out from dealing with this man. I was furious but I kept my mouth shut figuring he would report me to the day shift supervisor on Monday if I wasn't nice. The most shocking thing happened on Monday. Apparently, he went after the day shift nurse and bugged her to death too. However, she was so angry that she reported the man to the administrator. The administrator told the son that his behavior would not be tolerated and told him that if he didn't like the way his father was being treated that it would be best if he took his father elsewhere!!!!:yeah:

AMEN!!!

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN

Spokane, Washington

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Is there anything we can do collectively to correct this problem and other problems that nurses are facing. I am so disapointed in how this career has turned out that I can't honestly recommend this path to others. I am also horrified by how the hospital is more concerned with customer satisfaction than patient safety

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Specializes in ER.

Blackcat99-

Tell the family straight up that although their concerns are taken seriously, if I pull the doc away from his other patients more than once a shift without something really rotten going on he gets a little cranky (and rightly so). So just hold on and make a list, and if he doesn't show up by mid shiftish I'll give him a call and go through ALL their concerns, and then we'll start a new list.

Try calling the doc with a list of 6-7 issues, and they'll usually just laugh and go through it with you, knowing you've saved them a lot of nonsense calls. I think the family feels more organized and in control if we're not running to the phone every hour too- they feel like the nurses can handle the small stuff, and we're keeping them in the loop.

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Specializes in ER and Home Health.
And make sure you say "Is there anything else you need, I have the time."

Actually, I do say that routinely and I enjoy that opportunity to ask that. It really is a major part of what nursing is today. I say enjoy being nice, it reduces stress all around.

Also I strongly say Never Unionize, Never Unionize. I saw someone disagree with me earlier on that. Its ok to disagree.

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"Miraculously, without us ever taking care of her, she managed to survive her admission and went back home."

That is hilarious

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