A patient made me cry today - page 8

my skin is really thick. i've seen alot of things between being a nurse and a paramedic. i've seen abuse, neglect and death before. today, i got a patient from the emergency room with a massive... Read More

  1. by   CanuckStudent
    Different strokes for different folks! Personally, I would not feel comfortable dying in front of a stranger paid to take care of me nor holding my hand. But perhaps that is because I do not like to be touched by strangers in general. I know this may be hard to believe for some, but I honestly would rather die alone. I'm not scared to die alone, and I would not like a stranger part of such an experience as my passing. That is such a personal and intimate moment. If I had the choice, I would not like a stranger to be holding my hand. It would just seem impersonal and odd to me. To each their own, I suppose!
  2. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from CanuckStudent
    Different strokes for different folks! Personally, I would not feel comfortable dying in front of a stranger paid to take care of me nor holding my hand. But perhaps that is because I do not like to be touched by strangers in general. I know this may be hard to believe for some, but I honestly would rather die alone. I'm not scared to die alone, and I would not like a stranger part of such an experience as my passing. That is such a personal and intimate moment. If I had the choice, I would not like a stranger to be holding my hand. It would just seem impersonal and odd to me. To each their own, I suppose!
    and that is to be respected.
    keep in mind, that flightnurse's pt had come to her, visibly battered and abused, for God knows how long.
    and, whenever she approached him, he would cry out in terror.
    so to show this poor soul, some love and tenderness as he neared death, went far beyond the task of holding hands.
    she genuinely cared for him, right from her core, to his.

    not quite the same as expressing preferences, ya think?.

    leslie
  3. by   gabby0226
    Thank you Leslie
    Canuck student a question? What reason are you becoming a nurse?
    Don't get angry, I'm not fond of being touched by people outside my immediate family. This is a nurse who pours her heart and soul into her job. Her patients aren't just mr or mrs so and so in ICU be whatever. They are someone's mother, father, son, daughter, you get it. Most of the best nurses I've ever had the pleasure to work with have been those for whom it's not just a way to pay the rent. Would you not want your family member's nurse to care deeply about provideing the most outstanding and aappropriate to them. For some of us nursing is in our blood. We are passionate about giving our patients the best of ourselves and the appropriate care. It's in our souls and we re-hash every detail of a bad shift or patient outcome. Please think about that when someone you love has a serious health issue. Response welcome.
  4. by   wanderlust99
    this made me cry..thank you for sharing & god bless you for being compassionate and caring for him. and i can just imagine how fulfilled you feel now. this is the best part of our job. very sad to think of that man as a young adult, or as a child and never imagine what his years as an elderly man would be like. it's such a shame and very scary. imagine if that was your father.
  5. by   CanuckStudent
    Quote from gabby0226
    Thank you Leslie
    Canuck student a question? What reason are you becoming a nurse?
    Don't get angry, I'm not fond of being touched by people outside my immediate family. This is a nurse who pours her heart and soul into her job. Her patients aren't just mr or mrs so and so in ICU be whatever. They are someone's mother, father, son, daughter, you get it. Most of the best nurses I've ever had the pleasure to work with have been those for whom it's not just a way to pay the rent. Would you not want your family member's nurse to care deeply about provideing the most outstanding and aappropriate to them. For some of us nursing is in our blood. We are passionate about giving our patients the best of ourselves and the appropriate care. It's in our souls and we re-hash every detail of a bad shift or patient outcome. Please think about that when someone you love has a serious health issue. Response welcome.
    You have some very valid points. And I agree with all of them. I will say that I provide excellent care and compassion. Perhaps I am aware of TOO much, hence my viewpoint. However, unfortunately nursing is not how it is portrayed in nursing school.

    Regular posts on this board would lead to the same conclusion.

    I provide excellent care, because being compassionate to the sick and dying is a "no-brainer" for lack of a better term. In fact, it greatly disturbs me when I see nursing staff treating an elderly patient roughly. It will always be me who interjects and spends my break rubbing lotion on that person in a futile attempt to soothe them in some way.

    I know that once I am done being a student, I will likely never have time to do this again.

    I will do my best to honestly answer your questions, no flaming please as I am simply doing what is asked of me.

    I am a pre-med student. I am hoping to apply to med school in the near future. I plan to get some research under my belt, as this is my passion. My areas of interest are autoimmune diseases, allergic/atopic disease, and Cystic Fibrosis. I could chat happily about Th1 and Th2 shifts in immune response all day. My degree will be in Microbiology and Immunology

    I decided to obtain an LPN diploma (my Canadian province requires LPNs to have 2 year diplomas. RNs have 4 year degrees). I decided to do this as I wanted to gain patient care experience and have a flexible schedule. While I also volunteer (Emergency Medical Responder, various NGOs/charities, etc.) that doesn't pay the bills. University is expensive. I also wanted to gain some hospice experience for quite some time now, but now due to finances it would be better to do that as a paid position. With my diploma, I can.

    I will admit it, my PN diploma will make me the most money for school (and an easy program) while providing hands on patient care. Would I be happier as an EMT/AC Paramedic or a Lab Tech? Probably. Do I feel horrible saying this? Yes. I DO care about patients, and this is why I am frustrated. There are issues with nursing that most people would rather censor. There is little time for compassionate care.

    I am not a 'born nurse'. I respect those who are, you are able to see and do things in a way that does not feel natural to me. And I do respect that greatly. I couldn't do it nearly as well as most of you do. It is not my calling. I suppose it is because I am primarily a data/analyzing/technical person and not a people person (most nurses). I apologize if I come off as abrasive.

    I came back to this forum initially to look for guidance. I was hoping that someone would make me feel more positive about choosing the route I took. It's been a mixed bag so far. Some things I see validate my concerns.

    I do want to thank you for your extremely kind and well worded post. You do sound like an excellent nurse. It's obvious you can see that I can be a hothead (I'm a Quadrant 2, a Type A) so thanks for being so respectful. Your message was really well put, and I agree with you 100%. I really mean that.

    P.S. I really don't like to be touched either. That is an independent issue. I just hate being taught what I perceive as 'wishy washy' nursing theory that may upset some clients. The fact is, not all people like to be touched, and I don't think all nurses should assume that touching clients is a good thing. We may think we are dong a wonderful and noble cause by holding the hand of the dying, but if the client doesn't want it, it becomes more about our egos (or ignorance) and less about them. Ironically the opposite of the intended gesture. This is just MY personal feelings, that's all. I suppose I am just frustrated by nursing theory, and how nursing is presented vs nursing reality. I guess it's because I obviously wasn't born to be a nurse.

    Believe me when I say that you have earned my highest respect, and I would be honored to have someone like you caring for me. I also would love to work with a nurse like you. I apologize to any I offended.

    This is my response.
    Last edit by CanuckStudent on Jun 27, '09
  6. by   gabby0226
    Canuck Student,
    At the end of your journey you will make a fine physcian. I completely appreciate the fact that you are learning nursing to pay for school. The fact that you want to research and learn what you can from this end of medicine will make you an assest to the medical community. I would be pleased to work under you. You will be able to see things that traditionally trained physicians don't. Provoking you to explain has caused me to respect you greatly. Best Wishes to you.
  7. by   FranEMTnurse
    CanuckStudent,You posted a very honest and professional reply, and I wish you success in your future endeavors. However, as one who has been on both the giving end and the receiving end (near death) you really don't know until you get there how you will feel. Please don't take this remark as an offense. I have been a nurses aide, an EMT, an instructor, a nurse, and am now a recipient of care. I dislike being on the recipient end as much as you do. However, sometimes life deals us unexpected blows. I agree with you concerning what is taught via the nursing textbooks. That is NOT reality. We both know what the real world is like, and textbooks come nowhere near letting us know about that. The only reality concerning them is the information we learn from them minus the never never land of make believe.Personally, having been near death a few times, I can honestly tell you I don't remember the touvhing or the rubbing, or anything I received in the ICU, but I appreciate the TLC I was given. Had it not been for that, I doubt that I would be posting this message to you right now.This is a message posted by one who has been there and done it. You gain a lot of wisdom when you have veen there yourself.Written with all sincerity.
  8. by   gabby0226
    Fran or Poopsie if I may,
    I'm sorry to hear of your illness. I think Canuck student was very professional also. I appreciated the lengthy response. But you are the only one who has had first hand experience. Who better to explain than you. I will pray for improvement in your condition and that you will always be assigned an angel of Mercy. Please , if you are able , share your story with other caregivers. It might be the most precious gift they ever get. God Bless.
    Last edit by gabby0226 on Jun 27, '09 : Reason: missed puncuation
  9. by   WoofyMutt80
    I am about to reach for the Kleenex! I just hope and pray for peace for this man, and I pray that the legal system will do something to the bleeping a-hole who did this to this frail soul. With all the pics and documents hopefully there will be enough evidence to put this cruel person away.
  10. by   cjcsoon2bnp
    You've given a dying man his dignity back. That is the very heart of nursing.

    !Chris
  11. by   cherrybreeze
    Canuck student:

    The fact that you say you will be pre-med explains your statement about "MD's order the meds that help patients die easier and nurses poke and prod until they do." (something like this). Please also understand the error in your statement and belief. You posted about it before, about ordering morphine to hasten death, and that is NOT TRUE. I hope you truly come to understand this before you become a physician, so that you don't find yourself sued for killing somebody. Also, you said it yourself.....MD's ORDER the meds...that's it...they write an order. The nurse is the person who administers that med, based on their judgement. The nurses are often the people that call the physician in the FIRST place, to GET the order for that med, or to increase a current dosage that is not adequate. Nurses are the ones who know the patient's condition and needs, the physician too often never even lays eyes on that patient during their last hours, and when they do see them, during the course of rounds, it's for a matter of minutes. Your view of physicians being the heroes in this scenario is skewed, so please, please think of the bigger picture, and give credit where credit is due.
  12. by   gabby0226
    Flightnurse,
    Keep up the good work. May a new nurse chose to emulate your caregiving.
  13. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from gabby0226
    fran or poopsie if i may,
    i'm sorry to hear of your illness. i think canuck student was very professional also. i appreciated the lengthy response. but you are the only one who has had first hand experience. who better to explain than you. i will pray for improvement in your condition and that you will always be assigned an angel of mercy. please , if you are able , share your story with other caregivers. it might be the most precious gift they ever get. god bless.
    thank you gabby. thank you so very much for your prayers. i can use all i can get. i just may do that, but it is a lengthy one.:redpinkhe

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