Non-medical Family Say the Darndest Things!

[AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

As was the case during my last hospital stay. The ER physician came in to tell me my H/H was 9.7/27.7. He leaves, my hubby picks up the phone and calls my father and proceeds to tell him..."This don't look too good. They just came in here and said she ain't got but 9 pints of blood left in her body."

Or as was the case with my Daddy's poor neighbor, who I lived next to for 23 years. Hubby gets in the truck with me, as we are headed to Daddy's, and says,

"Your Daddy's neighbor has some kind of tortoise disease."

"Tortoise disease? Did he catch it from a turtle?"

"No, that's just what they said he had, some tortoise disease."

"Is he starting to look like a turtle?"

"No."

"Honey, throw me a bone. What are his symptoms?"

"Well, his neck..."

"OH!!!!!! Torticollis!"

And that was what he had.

Same hubby who thought you could liposuction out cellulitis. (Cellulitis-cellulite) I actually saw where he got that one.

Poor Daddy, he used to come up with some doozies as well. My grandmother fell out of bed one day and he took her to the ER. When he came back, I aske what the doc said. I was in nsg school at the time, so Daddy was going to try to tell me in the words the nurses and docs had used what was wrong. Daddy and I both have a gift for putting our foot in our mouth.

"Well, she had a hemoglobin on her arm from where she hit."

I'm rolling at this point.

"And what did they do?"

"They just put an ACE wrap on it."

"Good, that's what they should have done. She's on 3 blood thinners."

"Oh." He had the look on his face that he gets when he's stepped off in it.

"Why, what did you say?"

"Nothin'"

"No, what did you say?"

"Well, I just asked them if they ought not to lance it and let it drain."

Welcome to my life.

Oh and another goody, not even about nursing. Hubby and I were coming home the other day, after a rainstorm, and it was hotter than blue blazes. He had the radio on real low, and I said, "Baby, is that "Smoke On the Water?"

He looked out the windshield and said, "Naw, that's just steam coming up off the pavement.":banghead:

OK, y'all take it.

[crunchymomx3]

LOL. What are you doing with my husband!

Not nursing related but we were just talking about his dad's chili and he said he loaded it up with "tobacco sauce". LMAO

[AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

Takes all kinds, I guess, but it's pretty darn hilarious.

[Turd.Ferguson]

OK, y'all take it.

Your husband sure is lucky to have you.

[Dolce, RN]

As was the case during my last hospital stay. The ER physician came in to tell me my H/H was 9.7/27.7. He leaves, my hubby picks up the phone and calls my father and proceeds to tell him..."This don't look too good. They just came in here and said she ain't got but 9 pints of blood left in her body."

I love it. Thanks for the laugh.

[Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN]

My all time favorite was some visitor seeing granma on the ventilator for the first tim "Did y'all have to use a bamboo bag on her when she had the car-wreck arrest?" She also told me she knew about those things because she was a nurse too.

[LandDRN]

OB nurse here. We've had a patient come in for traptions ( contractions) and another asked if there was mecnim (meconium) because she watches discovery health and knows all about that stuff.

[scribblerpnp]

My cousing was down for the weekend. Her mom was recently dx with Alzheimers. Even though my cousin is a nurse's aid ON an Alzheimer's unit, she kept saying that they put her mom on "Arirept."

[labcat01, BSN, RN]

My son has been sick recently and last night was complaining of his ears hurting. I told my husband that maybe he was getting an ear infection and my husband just said so gravely "Ah, the dreaded secondary infection". I laughed so hard because he said it so seriously and I don't think he has a clue what a secondary infection is!

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Takes all kinds, I guess, but it's pretty darn hilarious.

You wouldn't happen to be from East Texas, would you? Man, I miss that good old southern patois.

[AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

You wouldn't happen to be from East Texas, would you? Man, I miss that good old southern patois.

Nope, good old North Alabama here, and yes, I talk that way in front of patients. One of my preceptors commented on it after a patient said "That there young'un is the only one here that ain't all highfalutin'."

Translation:" That young lady is the only one here that does not talk over my head."

Born and raised here, and would not have it any other way!

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

I can't wait to get back the the 'country'. Even my yankee wife has come to miss it. :)

Nope, good old North Alabama here, and yes, I talk that way in front of patients. One of my preceptors commented on it after a patient said "That there young'un is the only one here that ain't all highfalutin'."

Translation:" That young lady is the only one here that does not talk over my head."

Born and raised here, and would not have it any other way!