My NCLEX Fiasco (might have some calming factors)

[turkey sweat]

(I am not recommending this as THE way to approach NCLEX. This is just my story that might help ease a few worries of pre-testers and post-testers in freak out mode prior to getting results. I tend to get wordy, so skim, or skip entirely if necessary.)

I graduated in May, scheduled NCLEX for mid July. Didn’t take any prep courses. Most of the feedback I got on them indicated that they primarily teach you how to take NCLEX questions. I didn’t feel I needed that, as I had been doing anywhere from 100 to 500 questions a week for the better part of two years. I did buy several study guides, planning to use them to study. I think I used one of them a couple times to review. Hardly touched them at all.

My main method of attack was constantly doing NCLEX questions electronically. My PDA had 5000+ questions. My laptop had three programs with 2000+ questions each. I even put one of them on my PC at work. Questions, questions, questions. That was it. I intended to review books and notes but every time I tried I drifted off. Figured there was no way to review everything. That just reinforced my questions only approach.

A week before my NCLEX date my old man had a heart attack requiring him to be flown 90 miles away for open heart surgery and a double bypass. Mom doesn’t drive, so I lived out of hotels and drove her back and forth for the week prior to my NCLEX date. At least the hospital was in the same city as my NCLEX site. While I sat in the waiting room till the wee hours of the morn, I did questions. Couldn’t concentrate for shite, but I did them anyway. Folks said I should probably reschedule the test. I figured putting it off would make it worse. I could write an entire book about the effect of facing my father’s mortality had on me, but I’ll save that for another post.

The night before my NCLEX I ate Indian food with the missus and, against my better judgment, had a few cocktails. Didn’t get snockered, but felt good and slept well. Got up early and ate cold Indian food for breakfast in the hotel room. The lady dropped me off at the testing center and took Mom to the hospital. I did quite well throughout nursing school, and consider myself a good test taker. I was very rarely nervous before a test. At the NCLEX center I was shaking so bad I could hardly sign my name.

I worked 12 years in physical therapy, so I was hoping lady luck would give me lots of ortho and neuro questions. Not a one. Nada. Also, since I have no children, nor the anatomy to expel them from my body (I have boy parts), I consider peds and OB/GYN to be my Achilles heel. Outside of the usual priority and delegation questions, you wanna guess what most of my questions were? Peds and OB/GYN. Shut off at 75.

Talked to a lot of people that remember a lot of questions they had. Not me. Numb. Got my stuff out of the little locker. Numb. Shuffled out to the parking lot. Numb. Where the hell did I park? Oh. I didn’t drive. Numb. What’s that across the street? Irish pub?!! Vodka and Grey Goose, please. Thank you. Sure, I’ll have another. Thank you. Called the lady and went back to the hotel.

After talking to all the nurses that I work with (a lot), and all the nurses at my Pop’s hospital (a lot), and my classmates that already took the test (12 or so), all of them that had the test quit at 75 passed. And all the people they knew that had 75 questions passed. While I know this isn’t a valid scientific study, it is a pretty good indicator. The only tales of failing at 75 I have ever heard have been on here, and they are few and far between. So, I wasn’t feeling super confident, but I didn’t feel like I totally bombed, and everyone was assuring me I’d pass.

In the glorious state pf Pennsyltucky, the status of your license will change within 24-48 hours of completing the test 99% of the time. Some of my former classmates were getting results the next day. Obviously, I was on the internet checking my license status about every half an hour. Day one, nothing. No big deal. Day two, nothing. Okay….. Day three, nothing. ***?! Day four nothing. Everyone in my class that took the test after me already had their results. Losing my mind, I call the state board of nursing, which they absolutely love. It turns out something like one percent of the tests are randomly selected to be manually graded and entered, which can take up to 30 days. Out-friggin-standing. They pick the most neurotic worrier in the world to give an extended wait to.

After a week of driving everyone in my life absolutely mad, I found out I passed. I wanted to laugh, cry, soil myself and do a line of tequila shots all at once. Even though it was 7:30 in the morning.

I’m not sure if there’s a point to all this or not. I recommend doing lots of questions, preferably electronically to familiarize yourself with the format. I also feel that the great majority of testers that shut off at 75 pass. The few that failed at 75 in here compared to the hundreds that passed at 75 is pretty good odds. Finally, I recommend a good luck charm, because I am a strong believer in all things most consider silly. In nursing school, I had a classmate that needed a miracle to pass the final and pass nursing school. I gave her one of my old dreadlocks. Yes, I know that’s a bit gross. But it worked, and she was grateful. She took it to the NCLEX, and passed. I don’t have many left, or I’d offer them up to you guys. Need to ration them out, you know. Me, I took my lucky pencil. The same cruddy old number two pencil I used on every test throughout nursing school. It seemed to help psychologically, if nothing else.

That was an awful lot to read. I don’t blame you if you scrolled down to the bottom just to see if there was a point. You don’t really have to read it. I just needed to write it. Purge. Get the last of the NCLEX toxins out my system. A literary NCLEX enema, if you will.

Thanks for coming out. Enjoy the rest of the show. Be sure and try the filet, and tip your waiter. Please keep arms and legs inside the vehicle until it comes to a full and complete stop, and enjoy the rest of your stay here at allnurses.com.

Your smiley faced, non-offensive, vanilla, cookie cutter cakeboy who would never ever reference profanity through phonetic text,

TS

[andre]

This is quite possibly the single most entertaining post I have ever read on allnurses.

andre

[vpal2socal]

i'm a sucker for a happy ending. nice post

[KScott]

Well, now you're a nurse, I hope you decide to write in your free time. That was a wonderful read! Congratulations!

(Pennsyltucky! I like that!)

[amadime1]

You should become a writer, that was a great read. More importantly, inspirational. Thanks

[RNSuzq1, RN]

Hey Turkey,

I will never, ever again worry about my Posts being too long - You beat me, plus you're funny as heck. I agree with the other posters - definitely consider comedy writing in your spare time - use all your funny nursing experiences. I don't think I've ever seen a funny book written from a Nurses perspective, it would definitely be a best seller. I used to work for a Pediatric Call-Center, the Nurses kept a log of what they considered the "crazy" calls and planned on writing a book. It would've been hysterical, but they never had the nerve to do it, so yours would be the first.

Plus, with the cocktails the night before the NCLEX, hitting the Irish Pub moments after taking it and tequila shots for breakfast - you're a "Hemingway" in the making... Congrats on Passing, Thanks for the Laugh and looking forward to more of your posts. You never said how your Dad made out, hope he's on the mend. Sue...

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

You need to put your dreads up for sale on EBay to pay your student loan bills.

[BabyRN2Be]

Oh wow, that was funny and quite entertaining. For you, I wouldn't feel bad about writing a long post. Sometimes I do it myself. Glad it had a happy ending for you. :)

Congratulations!

[777RNThatsMe]

Dreadlocks up for sale. You know - it could work!!! Just post that post up there...and then sell the locks. Man. Too bad I didn't have any to sell. Darn!!!

[tater.jake]

either that was a manic post-NCLEX phase (which I hope I get to experience) or you should be a writer/nurse.

:)

[hlfpnt, BSN, RN]

That was much needed & appreciated! Thank you, TS, & congratulations to you! :wink2:

[youngatheart]

That was probably the best post i have seen so far. It summed up the whole thing I felt your agony. I developed obessive compulsive disorder from trying to look up on pearson every 5 minutes if I passed or failed. Drank so much before I found out my results so when I found out I passed couldn't celebrate as I had a hangover.