My journey taking the NCLEX-all glory and honor to HIM

[ShalomRN]

part 1-

i graduated in may and took my nclex for the first time in july. i had all 265 questions and didn't passl i thought i had worked hard and done everything i could. i definitely studied and worked hard. i used saunders for content and also did the kaplan review course. my question trainer scores were between 52 and 58%. i did 50% of the question bank. i had a job lined up as a graduate nurse and was sure i was going to pass. i was planning on moving a week after my boards. i couldn't take that job anymore because i didn't pass. i really thought i had my life figured out-i was going to study, take my boards, pass it and take this job (i was so sure that's what god wanted too). but god had other plans for me and it was hard to accept it at first. this was my journal entry a couple days after i found out my results:

[color=#333333]i worked hard and i prayed...so many people prayed...i guess god's timing is different from mine...i know that he would have helped me pass if he really wanted me to. nothing is difficult or hard for him...he could have but he didn't.

i don't have the missouri job anymore either because of this...i have to wait 45 days to take the boards again. i have peace about all of this. i know that god holds my future in his hands and there must be a purpose for this. i just have no idea what the purpose is....it is hard..not going to lie...but i need to realize that there are lot of good nurses out there that didn't pass the exam the first time. i am realizing how much i had made my plans and was just praying that it would work out the way i planned it...i wanted it so bad that i convinced myself that it is what god wanted as well..but i am realizing how much i don't allow god to have his way in me. it is a humbling experience but i know in my heart that he holds me in the palm of his hands and he will get me through this. the interesting thing is that, the day before i got my results, i just spent the day in prayer and meditation and over and over again, god spoke through his word and through sermons how much we need to give our plans to god's hands and we shouldn't try to control him. the online radio (thanks to pandora) kept playing songs like "i will trust god through the storms", "he gives and takes away"...i would think to myself "hmm...why are these types of songs playing instead of songs like "victory through jesus"..or something. but i guess he was preparing me.

yeah, i was looking forward to moving to springfield, getting out of this area and starting the next chapter of my life..but god is obviously not thinking that....wow being a disciple of christ and following him is not easy. i have always prayed "lord, i am ready to go where you take me, i have no preference, i just want to serve you and be in the center of your will for my life"...but when it comes to reality, it is way harder that just saying it with my lips.

i am so thankful that the god of the universe, of heaven and earth and all of creation cares so much about me and my future that if he doesn't want something, he will not allow it. i guess i have never really had to face trials or challenges or storms in my christian walk with god...but now it is time, i am growing, maturing in him and i thank him for that. i can't imagine having to go through this without knowing that i serve a god who is real, alive, faithful and trustworthy. i am so thankful that he saved me, rescued me and i can count on him always. knowing that being a child of god and being saved and living for him is way more important than passing a test or having a job..puts things in perspective for me. god is still on his throne, he still sees the whole world, he knows all...he has allowed this; there must be a reason and i trust him even if i don't understand what that is right now.

god loves us so much that he sent his son to die for us on the cross, he saved us even when we don't deserve it, he revealed himself to us, even though we didn't do anything to be saved, he hand picked each of us to know him as our savior....when we are that special and precious to him, then why should i let something like a test or job get to me? i need to say that to myself everyday in order to put things into perspective.

[ShalomRN]

[color=#333333]part 2- i gave myself a few days (during which i applied for jobs like crazy-all the way from alaska to texas, i didn't leave any state!) and started studying for the boards again. i came upon this site and was just so encouraged to see that i was not the only one that didn't pass the first time. i read about other people's struggles and their plans to study and decided to incorporate it. i used the saunders book again and read through all the adult med-surg chapters. i did the all the questions trainers again (qt155%, qt2-67%, qt3-62%, qt4-71%, qt5-66%, qt6-67%, qt7-62%) i finished the other 50 percent of the q bank questions that i had left from last time and also about 94% of the fresh q-bank questions. so i did the all the q-bank questions almost a time and a half. as i read content from saunders, i made flash cards of various colors (green-nutrition, red-cardiac etc). i read from this site about the prioritization delegation book and so i bought that a week before my test and did the whole book cover to cover in 4 days. i also printed off the infection control info that some people posted on this site and studied that. i was more nervous taking it this time than i was last time. i had practiced over 4,000 questions this time and read a lot of content but wasn't sure what was going to happen. everyday before studying i said the following scriptures out loud (they are scripture verses for wisdom):

psalm25:4-5a- show me your ways, o lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me

psalm 119:130- the unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.

psalm 119:135- make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees.

prov 1:23- i will pour out my spirit unto you and made my thoughts known to you.

prov 6:23- for these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life,

prov 2:6- for the lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding

prov 9:10- the fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the holy one is understanding

jn 14:26- but the comforter, which the holy ghost shall teach you all things and bring all things to your rememberence

i cor 2:16b- but we have the mind of christ

eph 1:17-i keep asking that the god of our lord jesus christ, the glorious father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better

james 1:5- if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask god, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him

james 3:17- but the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

1 jn 2:27-as for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. but as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit--just as it has taught you, remain in him.

[ShalomRN]

Part 3- I took my boards on Monday. I was there a half hour early and the center was not open yet. I just stood outside and prayed and committed my hands, my heart, my mind to God and asked Him to take complete control of my testing time. I prayed that He would help me understand the questions and guide me as I thought about each option. I went in and sat down and prayed again before I started testing. I was definitely experiencing tachycardiaJ. I started taking the test and was thinking that I would probably be there for another 265 questions and so I took a break after 60 questions and came back. The computer shut off after 75 questions! I was so scared! I just wanted to yell and shake the computer and say "Oh c'mon, you can't turn off yet, I want to answer more questions!" As I thought about my test, I felt like I had lots of knowledge questions and so I was sure I wasn't going to pass. I didn't have a single math question. My last questions was a SATA but it was about the symptoms of a disease (which is knowledge right?) that I was sure I got right. I was able to eliminate options easier this time than I was last time on my test which was encouraging. But I was sure I wasn't passing this time and so I decided not to pay the 8 bucks to find out I failed again. So I decided I was just going to wait till my BON processed the results (on Wednesdays). Being an international student, I need to start working by October so that I can still be in the States. I was ready to go back home if I didn't pass by October. Yesterday morning I just prayed and surrendered my hopes and dreams to God and I was mentally prepared to fail. I prayed that God would give me the strength to go through this again and that I would still have a heart to serve Him. I knew that God has called me to be a nurse and that His timing was different than mine. I started reading books and listening to sermons about trusting in God through the hard times. Then later in the afternoon, I decided to call my BON and type my SS number. I was positive that it was going to say invalid selection (meaning I didn't pass) but instead it said "the license is active till June...." I hung up right away not even listening to the whole message freaked out and thought I typed the wrong SS number. So I did it again 3 times. I called my mom in India (it was the middle of the night there) and told her and she was so excited and couldn't believe it either. She came on Skype (which is how I usually communicate with my parents) and we decided to pay the 8 bucks to check it for sure and yes I had indeed passed!! All glory and honor to God and to Him alone because He is a miracle worker. There is no way I passed with 75 questions without His help (I am just a B/C student in school). He truly led my hands through that test. I just want to encourage all of you out there that are still taking your boards- God is good and He is good all the time! Sometimes we don't understand the reason for things but He has you in the palm of His hands and He has the best in store for you. Don't give up-study and call upon Him...He will answer you and you will be a nurse very soon!! I also want to say thank you so much to this site, God has definitely used it in my life to encourage me and motivate me on those hard days. I hope that my journey can encourage someone out there. I want to be able invest back by inviting anyone out there that needs a prayer or a word of encouragement, please contact me! Any time of day or night...I will pray for you before you take your boards. I called some friends and had them pray for me over the phone before I took my exam and that helped me have more confidence. If you are one of those, please don't hesitate to send me a message or something. There are a lot of people out there that need you and me in their lives. God wants to use each of us in their lives to extend the healing ministry of Christ. I have confidence in each of you!!! You can do this in Jesus name!! Because we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!

Sorry about this long 3 part story....

[sejin]

Very encouraging thank you.

[UjonesRN]

Congrats For we serve an AWESOME GOD!!! :redbeathe:redbeathe:redbeathe

[babybear0614]

congrats... God is so good!!! He will never fail us.

[KAYBDT6, BSN, RN]

congrat!!!

[ShalomRN]

Thank you!!! I still can't beleive it..an RN!!!! NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[+one]

thank you for sharing and congratulations :)

[pulcherissima]

congratulations! your story is very inspiring to me. i will be taking my boards again next week and would really appreciate any prayers. i believe that all things are possible through the Lord and i am praying that he watches over me as i take my exam next week.

[Ace587RN, RN]

god is great congratulations!

[_cassyandra]

Congratulations! GOD IS SO GOOD! ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH HIM!