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My friends won't be in my study group!

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by guiltysins guiltysins (Member)

8,620 Visitors; 887 Posts

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So I had orientation yesterday, we start on tuesday. For the most part orientation was very very boring but they did give out a lot of useful information. Some of the students were taking notes on the important things like procedures for exit Hesi's and Med Math exams. The people I noticed who weren't? My friends/former classmates. All throughout orientation they were walking in and out of the gym getting something to eat and drink right in the middle of presentations and announcements that were being made.

Then at the end of Orientation we were given our assignments that had to be due the first day of class. I knew we were going to be getting some (from what I have seen on this site and from what the upperclassmen told me) and I told all of my friends, even putting out a message on FB to them telling them that we were probably going to be getting an assignment at orientation. So we get one and what do they do? They complain. "Why are they giving us work" "can you believe we got hw before school? OMG" Then they were annoyed that they were giving us papers to sign up for the National Student Nursing Association (the membership fee was part of our tuition) and the nursing sorority....why would you be annoyed by that??? I just really feel these people haven't done their research and its sad because I know they are great people and smart but I have a feeling they are going to be slacking off majorly and they won't "get it" until the first test comes rolling around.

Most of them already stated on facebook that they are planning to go out and party or something this weekend and said they aren't reading some stupid student handbook. Our assignments are due Tuesday, which is a 2 page paper, about 60-100 pages to read in Fundamentals, Med Math and Patho and they gave us basic med math problems due as well. They, along with a lot of people in my program are use to having everything handed and told to them. The faculty made it clear that they will not be handing out ANY paperwork, everything will be on blackboard and you're responsible for it, even the syllabus. None of my friends bothered to go to the nursing department to get a book list, I went and got it when I went to take in all my clinical forms and being nice, I offered to email it to them and told them we'd need them before the first day.

The professors were up introducing themselves and the upperclassmen were in there too, so by their cheers and claps you could tell which ones were really good. So I'd ask my friends if that is who they had and they'd say "there's no professor listed on my schedule" and I told them that they had put up the professors names recently so it was now on everyone's schedules, you just had to print them out. Most of them still had the original schedule print-outs we got when we first registered for classes which was months ago! Room assignments were changed, professor names were added. They never check for updates in their schedule, they NEVER check their school email and most of them have never tried signing into blackboard.

I just hope they pick up their game and are able to keep up because I know they are all smart students and they want to be nurses but I don't think they are taking this seriously. They don't see these classes any different from pre-reqs. Hopefully they won't learn their lesson when it's too late to rebound. I have a few classes with them and while I will continue to be their friend, I cannot let them hold me back or down from doing well and I am just fine with studying with some of my other nursing classmates who do the reading and keep up with materials. If they want to contribute then I will study with them, but if they expect me to let them photocopy my notes from class (which some of them have done in pre-reqs) or fill them in on the reading that they should have had done the week before, it's not going to happen.

Not all of my friends were like this thankfully, some were definetely a little overwhelmed and nervous but willing to work hard and were grateful of the heads-up I gave them. And my friends weren't the only complainers, a lot of my classmates were. There are 175 of us starting and something tells me we definetely won't have this many going into the 2nd semester in January.

Edited by guiltysins

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sabrina_RPN works as a Med/Surg.

1,293 Visitors; 24 Posts

"I have a few classes with them and while I will continue to be their friend, I cannot let them hold me back or down from doing well and I am just fine with studying with some of my other nursing classmates who do the reading and keep up with materials. If they want to contribute then I will study with them, but if they expect me to let them photocopy my notes from class or fill them in on the reading that they should have had done the week before, it's not going to happen." (Quote)

You said it right in this quote here. You CAN still remain friends, but don't let them bring you down. By the sounds of this post, you seem very mature and know that school comes before friends. And I can assure you that your friends will hopefully realize soon that partying in nursing school = being unsuccessful. When I was a student, no one partied...no one had the time!

Sincerely,

Sabrina_RPN

PS: Make sure you take care of yourself first! ;)

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8,620 Visitors; 887 Posts

"I have a few classes with them and while I will continue to be their friend, I cannot let them hold me back or down from doing well and I am just fine with studying with some of my other nursing classmates who do the reading and keep up with materials. If they want to contribute then I will study with them, but if they expect me to let them photocopy my notes from class or fill them in on the reading that they should have had done the week before, it's not going to happen." (Quote)

You said it right in this quote here. You CAN still remain friends, but don't let them bring you down. By the sounds of this post, you seem very mature and know that school comes before friends. And I can assure you that your friends will hopefully realize soon that partying in nursing school = being unsuccessful. When I was a student, no one partied...no one had the time!

Sincerely,

Sabrina_RPN

PS: Make sure you take care of yourself first! ;)

Thanks and I will. I mean I know it's labor day weekend but you have 6 days to do all of these assignments, none of which they started. They kept telling me at orientation how they hadn't even opened their books yet and then last night were shocked when I told them that I had finished the math sheet and the 2 page paper lol but those were the two easiest assignments we had! The math was just fractions and converting decimals to fractions and vice versa and the paper had nothing at all to do with the reading, just what we expected from the program and faculty. I think they are being fooled by the fact that admission to the program was fairly easier than some of the other programs and they're taking that as the program will be easy, which it is not.

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CVmursenary has 1 years experience.

6,037 Visitors; 240 Posts

party foul

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13,447 Visitors; 728 Posts

You would get an A+ in "Patting Yourself on the Back" class, for sure! :D Try to relax a bit and let school actually start before you go kicking people out of your study group.

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sabrina_RPN works as a Med/Surg.

1,293 Visitors; 24 Posts

I hope no one took my post the wrong way. I didn't mean to come across saying that nursing is all work and no fun. There are lots of ways to have fun, just make sure you have your work done first!

:jester:

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5,716 Visitors; 295 Posts

With so many schools having wait lists it makes me angry that your friends appear to be less than serious and will probably not make it to the second semester. I am sure there are people that didn't make it into your class that would be very serious and extremely grateful for the chance to prove just how serious they are. Good luck in school!

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6,352 Visitors; 905 Posts

"said they aren't reading some stupid student handbook. ... they, along with a lot of people in my program are use to having everything handed and told to them. the faculty made it clear that they will not be handing out any paperwork, everything will be on blackboard and you're responsible for it, ... , i offered to email it to them and told them we'd need them before the first day."

you aren't helping them, you are enabling them. you can be friends without carrying them (or else they were never real friends to begin with).

"some were definetely a little overwhelmed and nervous but willing to work hard"

different situation than the others. even so, you should see them "getting it" soon (occassional need for a hand is different than not getting the need for preparing for class).

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RNDreamer works as a Nurse.

15,655 Visitors; 1,237 Posts

GuiltySins,

I had to learn very early on NOT to worry about what other people are doing. You will make many new friends these four semesters and will be able to form study groups with people who are more in tune with what you are looking for in a fellow student.

Honestly, I don't blame them for wanting to enjoy the weekend. Looking back, I wish I enjoyed some more 'me' time. In the end employers don't know who partied it up and who didn't, who slacked in group projects, etc. From experience, I wouldn't be surprised if the partiers are the first to get jobs after graduation, while the ones who lived in their books can't even get a phone call for an interview.

For now, worry about making sure you are doing everything you need to do. This semester may be stressful enough for you youself, without you having to worry about the fate of your friends. Those who don't take it seriously will quickly feel the wrath of some of the professors. Good Luck, I'm so excited for you!

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happy2learn works as a Employed at a Level 1 Trauma Center.

7,747 Visitors; 1,118 Posts

I agree with Saysfaa. Don't offer to do things for them. That only encourages them to be lazy. Next they will be asking for your help on homework. They are perfectly capable of doing the things you are doing.

They need a wake up call, and not from you.

I understand that you care about them as a friend, but you have to put yourself first. Don't let them bring you down, and don't offer to help them. They need to grow up and they need to learn the hard way that they have to do this on their own.

Only when you see a true commitment and investment from them would I offer to help, otherwise, they are going to try and rely on you to carry them through.

May sound harsh, but as a person on the waitlist, I'd be pretty ticked too if I knew there were people not taking it seriously who go in.

You are more than deserving. You care. They don't. But maybe they will when they fail something and are faced with the chance that they may not make it through the program because they would rather party than do homework.

This is a lesson they will have to learn on their own.

Good luck to you though! You seem like you are responsible and are really taking this seriously. I hope everything goes well for you.

Edited by happy2learn

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1 Follower; 34,439 Visitors; 2,232 Posts

They will learn fast.

They will learn that, "I didn't know I had to do that" is the phrase of death.

They will learn on their first exam that these exam are... peculiarly different than any they have taken before. No last minute memorization the night before will save them.

They will learn, that once they get behind, they are in grave danger of getting lost and may never manage to find their way back.

And YOU will learn not to be so quick to condemn others.

Sometimes, even the most dedicated and studious will fail.

AND... nobody would be responsible for "holding you down" but yourself.

Nope.

Can't nobody, no way, no how do that.

You control whether you sink or swim.

And don't forget to toss out a life jacket to any of your peers, here and there.

You may need one yourself sometime.

Cheers... I really do hope you do well and I'm sure you will.

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pagandeva2000 works as a Licensed Practical Nurse.

25,649 Visitors; 7,984 Posts

I have met many people like this. And, while it is disappointing, don't let it slow your stride. Also, there are people who give themselves a few days before applying themselves fully to the grind. It is Labor Day weekend, the last 'official' weekend of summer, and some folks probably just want to let loose one last time.

You'll see who is for what very early when classes begin. And while study groups can be great, don't completely depend on them. Some people arrive to study groups just to take, having no contribution at all. You'll see early, too, as time goes on-who is playing games and who is not.

You sound like you will be a dedicated, orderly student and that is great, because believe me, you will need this in the nursing program.

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