My own family is the PITA in the hospital

djh123 · Mar 2, 2018

Confucious say, "All people have potential to be PITA at some time". :^) More seriously, though, and without picking on your sons specifically - it's just the usual "I'm #1, and I want it NOW" that we've all experienced from patients and their famillies. Luckily it's only some patients and families, not all.

allnurses Guide · Mar 2, 2018

Something similar happened when my SIL inserted herself into my mother's care. She was all over the nurses, very rude and condescending. She called me in the middle of the night to tell me how awful mom's care was. Be cause she's usually a reliable person I jumped in my car and drove to the hospital to find mom clean and seemingly well cared for. She was in soft restraints to keep her from pulling her IV's and Foley out. She was also pretty sedated but I talked to the nurses and told them that she (mom) was highly sensitive to Ativan and lower doses would be better. I have 4 siblings and the SIL so I asked the nurses to remove the restraints for as long as a family member was available to sit with her. Then I took my SIL to the cafÃ© and had a sit down with her and told her to leave the nurses alone. They were going their jobs and I didn't see anything out of the ordinary with her care. I told her "You don't want to be that family member".

Mom had vascular dementia and was in and out of the same hospital for two years. We got to know the regular nurses quite well. She passed away January 6th of this year and it's been a heck of a ride. She was pretty feisty and often gave the nurses a very hard time but they were very professional and I appreciate all they did.

Hppy

Leader25, ASN, BSN, RN · Mar 2, 2018

Im smiling and laughing...men ha !

mushyrn, BSN, RN · Mar 2, 2018

I would put my foot down as a parent and tell my kids how it is. I would stick up for my fellow nurses. Haha. If I ever have a kid, I hope I get to see them act like this. It wouldn't happen again.

Orion81RN · Mar 2, 2018

Ask to speak with the director/admin yourself and explain who you are, state that your children are acting like unreasonable a$$es and you are ashamed and that you hope admin will do something to reinforce their staff, provide support, and allow limit setting. Tell them the complaints are not legitimate. Heck, tell them your other son is interferring with patient care.

THIS!

allnurses Guide · Mar 2, 2018

The general, nonmedical, public have been advised by Readers Digest and newspaper articles and blog posts and etc etc that they need to be the patient's advocate. They get filled with horrifying stories of bizarrely bad things that have happened to people in bad care situations and led to believe these are normal occurrences unless someone is there whipping the staff around to make sure the staff knows they are being watched and judged. Combine that with an anxiety-producing health condition in a patient of an age where they are most used to their body doing what they expect it to do and you have the perfect cocktail of combined fear and helplessness.

In a moment of quiet and calm, explain to them that you would be the first one to speak up if something were amiss, but that thus far all has gone according to plan and that you trust the nurses. Make sure nothing else is going on (ie: the "real" story), such as tardiness with pain meds. Recognize that the son in the bed is anxious over what has happened, probably angry and anxious about work and the cost and that his brother is probably just trying to be supportive. If their relationship was always close, this is natural. If they have been at odds, strangely enough this is natural too. We have all seen the guilt-ridden family member suddenly acting the fool at the bedside. Empathize with their anxiety and their fear. Maybe share that with those caring for your son. It could be the practitioner is not being patient with their demanding natures and it is exacerbating this, making the boys feel like they need to escalate to be "heard" properly.

It doesn't sound like you raised them to be dill-holes, so likely this is just a scary situation that has gotten out of hand.

Roz, RN, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2018

They are never too old for a trip to the shed! My youngest (he's 31) loves to tell me that I'm old. My response is always "Not too old to kick your butt if I need to!".

nursecolley, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN, EMT-P · Mar 3, 2018

Nah send them an edible arrangement!!! Everybody brings junk food lol.

For the nurses station!!!! The boys would have to improve before they get any!! Hang in there, Mom!!

DextersDisciple, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2018

No kids for me yet but when my dad had surgery him and my mom loved his Nurses. They gave them $20 gift cards when he was discharged. My parents are not wealthy but they have an a idea of how tough our job is and appreciate what we do

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 4, 2018

I am so upset right now. My son had emergency surgery on Sunday night. He had an open compound tib/fib fracture. Part of the wound was left open and was draining serosanguinous fluid into the dressing, all normal. On Monday he and my other son were throwing a fit because the nurses wouldn't change the dressing, which really wasn't that bad. They reinforced it. I explained to my sons and my daughter-in-law that the surgeon usually changes it the first time so my son the patient demanded that they call him right then. I told them that he was likely in surgery and the nurse agreed that he would probably round later in the day. My other son, not the patient, called the hospital administration. Now they are complaining about everything and the staff has just about had it. I have also. I couldn't even look those nurses in the eye, I felt so bad. I want to support my son but I am angry with him. I chewed out my younger son for calling administration as he did and his response was that they needed to be told how to do their jobs! I told him that he didn't know how to do their jobs because he had not been to nursing school. I could hardly be there today. I just need to vent to some of my fellow nurses. What would you do if this was your family? Thankfully it's not the same hospital as my work. I would be mortified.

I feel your pain. My family is also one of "those" families. ALL of them. When my father was admitted for an MI, he was scared to death of everything. What didn't scare him embarassed him. He's the only patient I've ever seen re-infarct because he was so embarassed about the nurses placing him on a bedpan to poop. (And I've worked in CCU for decades!) He's one of the few patients I've ever seen require Pancuronium to keep his leg straight post-heart cath -- because he was freaking out about the whole ICU thing. In the end, he was intubated for ten days, paralyzed for most of it.

My mother meant well -- at least, she could have meant well. The nurses offered her a cup of coffee and she thought that meant she could wander into their break room at will and help herself. (The nurses paid for their own coffee -- I ended up putting $10 in their coffee can out of sheer mortification.) When she took the last cup, she "helpfully" made more. Only she forgot to put the pot under the drip so coffee hit the hot plate and burned, then overflowed onto the the table and then the floor. It was a gigantic mess to clean up. Mom also wandered into other patients' rooms to socialize, or to "help" or for whatever reason occurred to her at the time. She even answered the phone in the nurse's station a time or two. I tried to keep track of her, but the moment I went to the bathroom or took an eye off of her for a minute (like when I was wrestling with Dad to keep the ET tube in) she'd wander off and do something stupid.

My sister the Gucci nurse who hadn't been near a patient in a quarter century spent her time throwing her weight around, demanding special priveleges and threatening everyone's job if she didn't get them. Dad got a hefty dose of lasix and was peeing 300-400/hour. No one checked his K+ or gave him KCl, so when he V-tached it wasn't a surprise to me. Everyone came running in with the code cart, etc. and my sister chose that time to throw a fit that Mom wasn't given a roll away bed at Dad's bedside. The attending physician told me to get them (Mom and sister) out of the room before he had them removed by security. Then, of course, my sister wanted a new attending right then and there. I was ready to LET security take them away. But my brother the evangelical minister chose that particular moment to hold a prayer circle right outside the room -- loudly enough for every patient on the unit to hear and for most of them to become irate at the disturbance.

And then there's my husband who is also a nurse. When he was a patient, I entered his room just in time to hear him instructing the nurse on the proper way to listen to breath sounds because she was doing it wrong. (Looked OK to me.) Also lectured the nurses on isolation procedures, bed making, IV starting and blood drawing. Is it any wonder the nurses refused to stick him and the physician ended up doing it?

I follow my family around apologizing whenever they're hospitalized.

Oh, and did I mention that my three sisters-in-law take great pride in how big of a fit they can throw whether they're in the hospital or merely visiting?

TriciaJ, RN · Mar 4, 2018

I feel your pain. My family is also one of "those" families. ALL of them. When my father was admitted for an MI, he was scared to death of everything. What didn't scare him embarassed him. He's the only patient I've ever seen re-infarct because he was so embarassed about the nurses placing him on a bedpan to poop. (And I've worked in CCU for decades!) He's one of the few patients I've ever seen require Pancuronium to keep his leg straight post-heart cath -- because he was freaking out about the whole ICU thing. In the end, he was intubated for ten days, paralyzed for most of it.
My mother meant well -- at least, she could have meant well. The nurses offered her a cup of coffee and she thought that meant she could wander into their break room at will and help herself. (The nurses paid for their own coffee -- I ended up putting $10 in their coffee can out of sheer mortification.) When she took the last cup, she "helpfully" made more. Only she forgot to put the pot under the drip so coffee hit the hot plate and burned, then overflowed onto the the table and then the floor. It was a gigantic mess to clean up. Mom also wandered into other patients' rooms to socialize, or to "help" or for whatever reason occurred to her at the time. She even answered the phone in the nurse's station a time or two. I tried to keep track of her, but the moment I went to the bathroom or took an eye off of her for a minute (like when I was wrestling with Dad to keep the ET tube in) she'd wander off and do something stupid.
My sister the Gucci nurse who hadn't been near a patient in a quarter century spent her time throwing her weight around, demanding special priveleges and threatening everyone's job if she didn't get them. Dad got a hefty dose of lasix and was peeing 300-400/hour. No one checked his K+ or gave him KCl, so when he V-tached it wasn't a surprise to me. Everyone came running in with the code cart, etc. and my sister chose that time to throw a fit that Mom wasn't given a roll away bed at Dad's bedside. The attending physician told me to get them (Mom and sister) out of the room before he had them removed by security. Then, of course, my sister wanted a new attending right then and there. I was ready to LET security take them away. But my brother the evangelical minister chose that particular moment to hold a prayer circle right outside the room -- loudly enough for every patient on the unit to hear and for most of them to become irate at the disturbance.
And then there's my husband who is also a nurse. When he was a patient, I entered his room just in time to hear him instructing the nurse on the proper way to listen to breath sounds because she was doing it wrong. (Looked OK to me.) Also lectured the nurses on isolation procedures, bed making, IV starting and blood drawing. Is it any wonder the nurses refused to stick him and the physician ended up doing it?
I follow my family around apologizing whenever they're hospitalized.
Oh, and did I mention that my three sisters-in-law take great pride in how big of a fit they can throw whether they're in the hospital or merely visiting?

Oh, Ruby. I wish I could send YOU the flowers. And the edible arrangement. And the high-end chocolate. At least now the rest of us can feel a little less mortified about our own nutty families.

djh123 · Mar 4, 2018

Holy moly, Ruby Vee ... your family and those stories is why the saying 'you can't make this **** up' exists. Not that I don't have a story or two about mine...