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My Defining Moment As A Nurse

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marty6001 has 18 years experience as a EdD, EMT-P, APRN and specializes in ER, Critical Care, Paramedicine.

4 Articles; 7,585 Profile Views; 157 Posts

Despite thousands of hours as a nurse, one phone call at home changed everything for me forever. It's funny how poised we can be while working with patients, but when one of our own is the patient, it is a paralyzing fear that makes us unable to function. However, if taken in context, the lessons learned can change our nursing practice forever.

My Defining Moment As A Nurse

My most defining professional moment in my career came about not when I was with a patient, but when we were home with our newborn daughter.

The call came at 4:47pm on a Wednesday. We had brought our daughter home after an extremely uneventful birth. Our second child, she had come out the exact opposite of our son. Eyes open, awake, staring at us as if to say, "Yeah, I am here."

After three days we went home and began our second trip through exhaustion, night feedings, diaper changes, and everything else that goes into raising a baby. At 4:47 pm it all came to a halt, and despite over a decade of critical care experience, I was for the first time paralyzed with fear.

"Your baby failed the heel stick, and may have Galactosemia. You'll receive a call from the Geneticist later today, but until then stop feeding your baby any milk products."

That was it.

As we waited for the geneticist to call, my professional brain kicked in. I remember the oddly humorous thought I had that why would the pediatrician call to say my daughter has a disease named after a video game?

I began researching Galactosemia. Liver failure. Sepsis. Death. Symptoms in the first few days of life (I missed the importance of this one, as it was week 8). Death. My child suddenly was dying, and I couldn't stop it.

It brought me back to so many conversations I have had with patient's families regarding death and dying. I used to almost brag about how much I liked, and how good I was at end of life discussions and care with families. At 4:47 pm that changed.

The funny thing was, I completely missed that symptoms begin a few days after birth when the baby drinks milk, and yet my child had drunk milk for 8 weeks with no issues. How easy it is to miss cues, clues, and even blatant slaps in the face from information when we as nurses have been trained to sniff out these clues better than smoky the bear smells fire.

My child, after a year of doctor visits, blood work, and monitoring turned out to have a variant of Galactosemia that would not affect her life in anyway other than her husband would need to be tested before they have children. For a year, I assessed her sleeping, eating habits, drinking habits. I snuck into her room to watch her breathe. I coddled her, hugged her more than I had my son, and told her I loved her a million times. I paid more attention to her than I do my own patients.

And it changed me, and my professional practice as a nurse. No longer do I gloat about my end of life care. No longer do I complain when it's busy, complain when I am burdened, or have to stay late, or write an extra note, or bail out someone else's patient who needs ICU care. As a nurse practitioner, I save lives. I used to take it for granted. Now, it defines and fulfills me.

Nurse Practitioner

4 Articles; 7,585 Profile Views; 157 Posts

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13 Posts; 992 Profile Views

That was absolutely beautiful and inspiring.

Thank you for sharing.

I am so happy your daughter is doing well.

:)

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BrooklynRN11201 has 1 years experience.

152 Posts; 7,299 Profile Views

Amazingly beautiful! Such a great story, thank you!

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Esme12 is a ASN, BSN, RN and specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

5 Followers; 4 Articles; 20,896 Posts; 147,092 Profile Views

Well.....said.

I am happy for your daughter and send prayers/positive vibes for her future health.

It is these defining moments that define us as humans....but impact us as nurses. ((HUGS))

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Vishwamitr has 15 years experience and specializes in Psychiatry.

156 Posts; 4,963 Profile Views

Dear Marty6001,

That was an absolutely heart-rending and poignant description of your personal travail. My heart goes out to a fellow-nurse. I will keep you and your princess in my prayers. Just reading your post has made me a better person. Take care, my friend.

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favraeRN has 2 years experience and specializes in well babies/ newborn/ mother-baby.

5 Posts; 1,196 Profile Views

marty6001 thank you for sharing your experience. such an uplifting story. i wish to have my own baby someday.

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34 Posts; 993 Profile Views

Fantastic story, thank you for sharing! I am so ready to start working as a nurse :-)

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AM326 has 2 years experience and specializes in Critical Care.

140 Posts; 4,727 Profile Views

great story, I am happy that your daughter is continuing to do well. :)

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gigglestarsRN has 1 years experience and specializes in Cardiothoracic.

63 Posts; 3,560 Profile Views

This is such a well written account that has true depth of feeling and heartfelt emotion. It really conveys how it feels to be in someone else's shoes and certainly sounds like a humbling experience--one that changed you in a profound way. Your daughter and patients reap the rewards of this experience. Thank you for sharing such an intimate period in your life that serves as a reminder to us all to not loose that perspective.

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marty6001 has 18 years experience as a EdD, EMT-P, APRN and specializes in ER, Critical Care, Paramedicine.

4 Articles; 157 Posts; 7,585 Profile Views

Thanks for all the kind words. My wife and I are both nurses and we never really knew what it felt like to be on the other end of news. It was an eye-opening experience that has changed the way I practice as a nurse. Again, I appreciate all the comments.

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