My boyfriend gets upset when I have to study. Advice please!!!!

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Sorry if my post sounds loopy. I was diagnosed with a kidney stone today and I'm on meds. Fun fun!! :clown:

Thanks for any advice.

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I don't know how to say this without sounding like a you know what, so I'll risk it. He sounds kind of immature - sorry :madface: I had a friend who was in a similar situation and she called him on his inconsistencies (sp?) He said he was supportive and than whined... Just tell him that you cannot study with other people. I honestly can't do groups or anything...wish I could. Be proud of you gpa - keep it :bow:

But if you want to be polite, just try saying it politely lol. Hunny, I am sorry about how this may sound, and I don't want to hurt your feelings. I love having you around, but I like it to the point that it is rather distracting. I truly appreciate your wanting to help me study, but that is just not my learning style, so I unfortunately need to study alone. I am sorry that you are feeling neglected, but just know that I want to spend time with you too. Remember that I am the one busting my butt here and having to deal with school is not fun, so please support me by (GETTING A HOBBY WHEN I STUDY...ok sorry haha that was mean and NOT funny)

PS: Sorry about your kidney stone. get well soon:flowersfo

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

I told my gf that no matter what school comes before her and if she wasnt ok with it she could walk. I know what I have to do to do good in school and im not risking anything for it

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I was fortunate not to be put into that situation because my boyfriend was very supportive, and we are very committed, so my success is his success as we plan to get married. If you don't mind my asking Manda, are you two highly committed with future plans, or are you in the dating stage? I do not intend to pry, but my friend who was in the situation and her boyfriend did not have big future plans, so he was being selfish and not worth it. He was not greatly committed to her, so in his eyes he probably felt like it did not matter if he sabatoged(sp?) her, cuz he was walking when the next best thing came along. I know that message sounded very negative, but I really dont mean for it to.

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Specializes in NICU, Post-partum.

Get rid of him.

Seriously.

When I started school, I cannot tell you how many times we heard stories like this.

We had one girl that even dropped out of the nursing program because her boyfriend felt "neglected".....7 months later they broke up....so she trashed her entire nursing program for this guy.

If he REALLY loves you, he'll understand that this is a temporary sacrifice for a long-term gain.

If he is selfish (insert any male-bashing explicitive here), then he'll keep giving you a guilt trip.

Nursing school is too stressful to NOT surround yourself with anyone, that doesn't support you 100%.

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Dump him

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Manda,

First off, I am a guy. Twenty years ago, I was in your BF's shoes, dating a nursing student. Two different nursing students actually, but that's another thread! Back then I never cracked a book in school and did not understand how much of a time strain nursing school could be. Guys are a little slow sometimes, you need to address this problem and be direct. He may have a bit of a pity party at first, but if he is in this for the long haul, he will understand. If things don't work out with him, it wasn't ment to be anyway. If he is really worth it, he will understand your need for some time to invest in yourself for school.

Just for the record:

I broke up with one of the nursing students.

The other nursing student I have been married to for 16 years and counting!

Life is good, I have no regrets.

My best advise for you regarding the BF, nursing school, and the stone.

" This too shall pass "

Hugs to you,

Charlie

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Been there. Tell him clearly what you require. ONCE. If he doesn't get it cut him loose. You can bet he'll be available after you graduate and get your license. I know it sounds harsh but how will you feel if you fall off at school because of him and then he leaves you later. FOR A NURSE. I'm not sure how old you are but a boyfriend is NOT a husband. You may feel commited to him but you don't OWE him anything. The guy I dumped when I was in LPN school is still "finding himself" professionally and living with his parents. I dumped him in 1993 :stone

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Thanks everyone... I really appreciate you all taking the time to respond. I'm pretty sure he has issues...that i've tried to overlook. He just got out of the army not too long ago. He was honorably discharged after threatening to kill himself. My mother, friends, etc...all get creepy vibes from him. I guess at first his obsession with me was refreshing and made me feel really loved.

Now he's just dragging me down. I'm going to have to figure out a way to break up with him.

Thanks guys!!

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my bf also tries to be very supportive & wants to be with me when i study. every night when i say i'm studying he ALWAYS asks "is there anything i can do to help you study" or "well i can come sit and be with you while you study". which i know is sweet, but i'm like you-i need quiet. and i KNOW i'll be distracted if he's here. so i felt bad for saying "no" all the time. so now i just say "no babe, that's okay...i think i need to do it on my own, but thank you though! just be here for me when i'm finished-that'll mean a lot to me" (that's exactly what i said tonight) and instead of him feeling worthless/neglected/upset he seemed a lot better about it tonight, so i'll probably stick with that for a while. i do take 15 min study breaks though & i call him for a quick pep talk! haha

good luck & best wishes!!

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Thanks everyone... I really appreciate you all taking the time to respond. I'm pretty sure he has issues...that i've tried to overlook. He just got out of the army not too long ago. He was honorably discharged after threatening to kill himself. My mother, friends, etc...all get creepy vibes from him. I guess at first his obsession with me was refreshing and made me feel really loved.

Now he's just dragging me down. I'm going to have to figure out a way to break up with him.

Thanks guys!!

Please discuss your plans with your family, maybe even your friends and try to see an expert in domestic violence. I am concerned for your safety and believe you should make plans for your safety when you accomplish this task. No one knows what might snap in this man and we don't want for you to become another statistic. Take care.

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please discuss your plans with your family, maybe even your friends and try to see an expert in domestic violence. I am concerned for your safety and believe you should make plans for your safety when you accomplish this task. No one knows what might snap in this man and we don't want for you to become another statistic. Take care.

ASOLUTELY!!!!

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