Murphy's Law of Nursing

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

1. The admission they want to send you is always the opposite sex of your only available bed - resulting in bed moves.

2. A certain MD always takes at least 20 minutes to respond to your page - except for the time when you page him and then run to the bathroom - that time he calls back in 3 minutes.

3. The loud snorer is never roommates with the pt who is deaf. No, he is roommates with the light sleeper.

4. Families always want to talk to the discharge planner, social worker, specialist or manager on a Sunday afternoon when none of these people are working. and the get mad at YOU because they are not available.

5. Pts are either constipated requiring laxs, enemas etc, or have exploding diarrhea.

What are your Murphy's Laws?

[RNperdiem, RN]

You remember what you forgot to bring into the isolation patient's room only after you have gowned, gloved and entered.

[AMN74]

If you say a "frequent flyer's" name... they WILL show up!

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

I so believe in the "if you say this person's name, they're guaranteed to be admitted" theory. Seen it happen multiple times. Sometimes you just have to THINK of that patient and 2 seconds later they beep the admission through.

Pepper, don't forget that #1 always happens at 3am... which means you then have to wake up the patient who you've spent hours getting to sleep to tell them that they need to move rooms and that they'll be moving into a double room.

OR, the admission they want to send you is on contact/droplet and you have no private rooms available, having just given the last one to the family who's been begging for days for a private. So now, 4 hours later, you get to wake them up at 1am to tell them they're going back to the double room.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

If there is going to be a crisis, it is going to be at shift change.

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

Yes to all the above!How about it's never the pt in the private room who comes up positive for VRE, it a pt in a quad. Which results in a lot of hassles and closed beds

[zofran]

The pt will stop having BMs when a stool sample is ordered!

[amoLucia]

to continue laws --- the freezy cold pt will be the one next to the only good chilly air conditioner on the floor while the COPDer or hot blood is in the sauna room. Of course we all know that ACs only work in winter and heaters only work in summer. The television lover and the television hater are also roommates. And another law governs that the pt in need of the close bathroom for safe ambulation/quick potty needs will be the one by the window.

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

The pt c/o 10/10 pain will tell the doctor everything is fine. And then get upset because the doctor didn't increase their pain meds!

[~PedsRN~, BSN, RN]

RNperdiem said:

You remember what you forgot to bring into the isolation patient's room only after you have gowned, gloved and entered.

This one is the WORST!

[RNlovingit, APRN]

You just checked the pt. and was told he/she doesn't need anything. You walked out the room, two minutes later your pager went off. That pt just realized there WAS something he/she needed from you. AH~~~

[tri-rn]

Like crises, codes ALWAYS happen 45 minutes before shift change...usually on the day that you're short staffed and trying to call in help.