The Great Double Standard?

[Doog]

I would like opinions from the rest of you guys. It seems everywhere I turn that there is this double standard that men nurses should not be providing care for any of women's intimate needs. I am still in nursing school, but it seems women nurses have no problem caring for either a male or female patient (students included), but men do not have that ability? I just don't quite understand this, when it is not even the patients perogative involved, just these female nurses who think they know "whats best". I would like this taboo to dissappear. Does anyone else see this? Any ideas who to remedy this issue and be able to call a nurse a nurse, and not a male or female nurse, each playing by different rules. I am pretty frustrated.

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

I get what you are saying, but at the same time, someone wanting a different nurse based on race could make the same "emotional response" argument.

Cul2 covered nicely why pt preference based on modesty or similar concerns is different from discrimination on a more arbitrary basis. I'd just like to add, though, that if a patient refuses me because I'm white, I don't have to agree with their logic, but I can't continue to care for them. If they are able to say they don't want me, forcing myself upon them anyway is assault and/or battery. Of course, if a patient refuses to be cared for, by non-compliance or by making unreasonable demands, the patient can be discharged.

[kool-aide, RN]

as a CNA I sometimes have a similar issue...not with my nurses, but with female pt.'s. although not often, I may have a pt. who does not want me to take them to the restroom or do peri care or whatever, but sometimes I can win the female pt. over with my attitude and personality and get her to trust me, I guess....

also, sometimes a nurse will ask me to help a male pt. to the bathroom because he is embarrased to have a female nurse help him.. I think it's a little funny.. hehe

[FLmomof5]

As an OB patient, I had NO problem with a male nurse and he was visibly relieved that I didn't care what gender he was. (All my OBs were men so who cares what the gender of the nurse is!)

That being said....

Welcome to our world...(of women and the double standard)....

Even in 2010: Man + multiple sex partners = stud. Woman + multiple sex partners = whore.

Dumb blonde doesn't apply to males who are blonde.

Vocally exhuberant male = Assertive. Same for woman = B**** (pseudonym for female canine)

Handsome man = intelligence Beautiful female = stupidity

Male nurse's advantage? Doctors treat them as if they are intelligent!

[Dixiecup]

I wouldn't "force" care on anyone at anytime...however, I have told patients that I was the only nurse available to do the procedure so they could decide to have me do it or not. I find it interesting that you tried to accomodate a black person's request for a black nurse. If the situation was reversed, a white person asked their assigned black nurse for another, white nurse, would that be OK?

Sure it would. I don't see the big deal about this. What ever makes the pt more comfortable is all I care about. I just don't see all the controversy.

[zbb13]

From a religious perspective, I prefer a female nurse to deal with my "female" issues. I chose a female OB/GYN for that reason. When hospitalized, people have few choices, and they suffer much indignity. If they request a female to do personal care, we should respect their rights.

If you can't find a job in OB/GYN, give it up. An individual with one arm can't be a pilot of a F-16. If you can't accept reality, then I guess you can moan and groan and fight the system.

[Bhebe55]

I hear women make this complaint all the time:

men multiple sex partners is a stud

female is a whore

they automaticly jump on the double standardc bandwagon but it's their own doing.

The reason that idea exists is because women have all the power in most sexual relationships when they say "no" it's no. Almost any women on Earth could go out and find someone to have sex with them any day of the week. No man on Earth could say the same. The reason we are "studs" is because we have to "earn" for lack of a better word oursexual partners while women are the ones "giving it away." So as soon as y'all women give up the death grip or power y'all have over any sexual relationship maybe y'all won't be seen as just giving your self away all the time. Also in reality the only people that think y'all are "whores" are other women most men could care less or are happy to get some.

[GM2RN]

I hear women make this complaint all the time:

men multiple sex partners is a stud

female is a whore

they automaticly jump on the double standardc bandwagon but it's their own doing.

The reason that idea exists is because women have all the power in most sexual relationships when they say "no" it's no. Almost any women on Earth could go out and find someone to have sex with them any day of the week. No man on Earth could say the same. The reason we are "studs" is because we have to "earn" for lack of a better word oursexual partners while women are the ones "giving it away." So as soon as y'all women give up the death grip or power y'all have over any sexual relationship maybe y'all won't be seen as just giving your self away all the time. Also in reality the only people that think y'all are "whores" are other women most men could care less or are happy to get some.

:smackingf

[Anoetos, BSN, RN]

From a religious perspective, I prefer a female nurse to deal with my "female" issues. I chose a female OB/GYN for that reason. When hospitalized, people have few choices, and they suffer much indignity. If they request a female to do personal care, we should respect their rights.

If you can't find a job in OB/GYN, give it up. An individual with one arm can't be a pilot of a F-16. If you can't accept reality, then I guess you can moan and groan and fight the system.

This makes sense to me.

[bigrigcowboy]

Not to stir the pot but I wanted to chime in here. As a male pt. it has been my personal experience that male nurses are more adept at dealing with male genetalia issues. I believe that having "one of those" weather it be male or female has some advantage. Any thoughts?

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

From a religious perspective, I prefer a female nurse to deal with my "female" issues. I chose a female OB/GYN for that reason. When hospitalized, people have few choices, and they suffer much indignity. If they request a female to do personal care, we should respect their rights.

If you can't find a job in OB/GYN, give it up. An individual with one arm can't be a pilot of a F-16. If you can't accept reality, then I guess you can moan and groan and fight the system.

While I agree it's important to respect patients' dignity, a male nurse is not incapable of performing the duties of any OB/GYN nurse. It is important to recognize reality, but not necessary to "accept" it. This is a reality that can be changed, not by moaning and groaning, but by educating. I've been told by several patients that they were unsure about having a male nurse at the beginning of my shift, but all for it by the end. In my lifetime, the "realities" of race have changed considerably, and I don't see a reason not to work toward overcoming preconceived views of gender, as well.

[vivacious1healer]

Female sounding in here.....

I recall when I was a nursing student, and had the opportunity to observe a surgery on a male that had a testicle torsion. The patient was about his mid-late 20's (about my age), and I introduced myself and asked his permission if I could observe his surgery. He was very laid back and answered 'sure' without batting an eye. Then he went on to explain how this happened to him.

Well the older RN ( about 60) was in the pre-op room and overheard our discussion. I was pulled aside and lectured on how inappropriate it was of me to ask permission, and discuss this 'type' of surgery with the patient. She went on to tell me " you made him very uncomfortable, and he doesn't need that stress before surgery! you should know better!"

I returned to the room red-faced, and the patient told me he could hear me being berated, and was trying to reassure me that it was 'all cool. no big deal'.

That incident was definitely a generation gap.....

[talaxandra]

I hear women make this complaint all the time:

men multiple sex partners is a stud

female is a whore

they automaticly jump on the double standardc bandwagon but it's their own doing. The reason that idea exists is because women have all the power in most sexual relationships when they say "no" it's no.

So as soon as y'all women give up the death grip or power y'all have over any sexual relationship maybe y'all won't be seen as just giving your self away all the time. Also in reality the only people that think y'all are "whores" are other women most men could care less or are happy to get some.

Couple of smaller things -

1. 'Power' is an interesting word to use in relationship to sex, where men are rarely (though certainly not never) overpowered by men.

2. I'm pretty sure that when a man says 'no' there's no (consentual, uncoerced or unforced) sex, either.

And now for the flaw in the argument: you can't have it both ways. By your argument, women have all the power because

almost any women on Earth could go out and find someone to have sex with them any day of the week. No man on Earth could say the same. The reason we are "studs" is because we have to "earn" for lack of a better word oursexual partners while women are the ones "giving it away."

That would be power given to women (who are apparently only attracted to promiscuous men) by men (who are apparently indiscriminantly attracted to women). To redress this imbalance, you argue that women should be less discerning and sleep around more, thereby giving up their "deathgrip or [of? on?] power" and that will somehow stop women from being seen as "just giving your self away all the time." So sex with more men reduces the stigma of female promiscuity?