How do You deal with Man-Hating Female Nurses?

kmrmom42 · Apr 10, 2005

You have gotten many wonderful replies which I hope you have found helpful. I skimmed through them all and didn't see one that occurred to me.

Do you have any friends who are male nurses who are looking for a job in an ER? Maybe if you could recruit another male nurse to be on staff at your hospital it might help the situation? Take some of the focus off of you and also give you someone for moral support?

I don't know. I don't understand behavior like this. Why on earth would anyone want to be unkind to a fellow nurse who is working as hard and is under as much stress as you are? Hang in there, seek support wherever you can find it and look forward to retirement (which you mentioned is nearing or I would have joined Angioplasty in inviting you to come to Florida!)

mattsmom81 · Apr 10, 2005

'Consider this, I have been an R.N. for thirty two years, I have never once been repremanded by any state licensing board, have never been accused of any malpractice issues, or any other issues concerning patient care, and yet as I approach retirement, I am still BLS, ACLS, and PALS, certified, yet having trouble finding work in E.R. There are those who will say that, "He is not the nurse he used to be." or "He must have burnt too many bridges." or "He must have peed off the wrong person." To those I say, you are wrong, standing up for one's self is not the answer, because when you do, you make your enemies more determined, this is where the "enlisting" of help to scuttle your ship begins. Giving exceptional nursing care is not the answer, it is a threat to those who would sit on their duffs and gab about anything but patient care. To those who might say he's not the nurse he was once, I say, "then why am I still able to do evrything an E.R. nurse does?? '
Ya know what Jay? Sub my female-ness, my 28 yrs for your 32, and my ICU for ER..and I could have written the above myself!
What you post it what I find true of my profession in general. I do not believe the bad treatment of males is the common denominator: the ruthless, competitivie infighting and the nature of the profession is...
I would be willing to admit this phenom is partly because nursing is still female dominated. (while I duck incoming fire) but it is more likely due to the dysfunction the profession has internalized over the generations.
I'm sorry you have felt mistreated, but I must point out I have watched female nurses go after females with just as much venom as you describe. Hell hath no fury and all. I've been there myself numerous times because I am different...I tend rock the boat (like some of the guys do just by being there I'd guess). I also frequently get along better with my guy coworkers.
I've also worked in toxic places where I've sensed I just need to get out too, or risk becoming a casualty.
All we can do is the best we can do. Good luck to you and I sincerely hope you find a good place to work; with good supportive coworkers. Sadly our profession frequently does not value us as we 'season'. I enjoy all my good coworkers male and female and wish all here well. :)

MaleRN2B · Apr 11, 2005

I've been working in our ER for nearly a year, and in lieu of recent events, was prompted to open this thread. I am the only male nurse in, not just the ER but in the entire hospital. The nurses I work with are very good at what they do, save for one fault. THEY HATE MALES! Despite their "friendly" and helpful demeanor there has always been some underlying hostility towards me. Not only that, I tend to overhear comments like "They only hired him because he's a male nurse." and "Guess who's YOUR partner today?" Even though this is a male nursing forum, Marci, I hope you are reading this.
One of the nurses I used to work with (who I miss dearly) suggested I try to "kill them with kindness." It didn't work. I brought homemade cheesecake. They ate it like hyenas at a slaughter, but not a single thank you from any of them.
OK here's my question: How do I attempt to solve this problem, without quitting my job (which I do love) without having to resort to murder? Has anyone run across this problem? How did you deal with it?

I LOVE cheesecake. Can I have your recipe?

Rustyhammer · Apr 11, 2005

Currently I'm the only Man-Nurse where I work. Fortunately I haven't run into the problems you are having. I do wish for another guy to get hired. Sometimes the estrogen gets a bit thick.

-Russell

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 12, 2005

:balloons: How could you be defending anything..... over 16,000 posts in 3 years... thats 5,000 a year aprox 15 per day.... do you have time to do anything else???? :rotfl:
Cheers
Peter

and your point would be??? Maybe cause I dont' watch TV---the time many OTHERS spend watching TV or listening to radio, I am online. If that makes me weird, so be it. Nothing new under the sun. Besides I type about 85 WPM so the posts are done purty fast....:rotfl:

back to the original topic.... :coollook:

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 12, 2005

I dont love male nurses, just clarifying here

rofl ok tom we believe you. We all know you love your wife and golf.

yes, in that order.

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 12, 2005

Currently I'm the only Man-Nurse where I work. Fortunately I haven't run into the problems you are having. I do wish for another guy to get hired. Sometimes the estrogen gets a bit thick.
-Russell

I have to laugh cause men CHOOSE this "estrogen laden" work environment. Its like my saying the military is "testerone thick". Well that is a given, isn't it? I never complained about it. I dealt. :)

UnewmeB4 · Apr 12, 2005

Currently I'm the only Man-Nurse where I work. Fortunately I haven't run into the problems you are having. I do wish for another guy to get hired. Sometimes the estrogen gets a bit thick.
-Russell

Do you get tired of hearing about "that time of month?" Or, how about PMS? And, if not, they are pregnant...and you hear about their morning sickness, or lack of sleep, or, swollen anles, ad infinitum. Oh yes, let's not forget about last night's date, "the father of my baby..." I just wish EVERYONE would keep there personal "issues" in the lounge, and away from the nurses station. That way, I can just walk away if I don't want to hear about it.

MaleRN2B · Apr 12, 2005

I worked in an all female environment for 4 years and it's a fact that men and women are different. The dynamics are very different and as a male I was often stereotyped. With the exception of one who had had a baby, I was the only person on the staff who had been present at a birth. I did the video for a friend's home birth. I recall a woman once feeding her baby in the corner of a very crowded room and she was clearly uncomfortable. It was me that offered her a quiet place to sit in another empty room. I doubt my female counterparts even noticed but the woman was very grateful.

I imagine it's the same for a woman working in an all male workplace. We're just different. Diversity in any workplace is a good thing.

MJ

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 12, 2005

Do you get tired of hearing about "that time of month?" Or, how about PMS? And, if not, they are pregnant...and you hear about their morning sickness, or lack of sleep, or, swollen anles, ad infinitum. Oh yes, let's not forget about last night's date, "the father of my baby..." I just wish EVERYONE would keep there personal "issues" in the lounge, and away from the nurses station. That way, I can just walk away if I don't want to hear about it.

Umm, what stops you from walking away anyhow?I mean, when people start having conversations I have no desire to over hear, that is what I do. :) and I am with you, I don't want to hear these things either, even though I am female and have the same issues. It's not like that is all we women talk about anyhow. At least most of us.

Anyhow, walk away when you get tired of it. I got tired of hearing of male "conquests" and farting contests at work when I was military. It got old, I walked away. :)

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 12, 2005

by the way, unewmeb4? who wereub4??????

UnewmeB4 · Apr 12, 2005

Umm, what stops you from walking away anyhow?I mean, when people start having conversations I have no desire to over hear, that is what I do. :) and I am with you, I don't want to hear these things either, even though I am female and have the same issues. It's not like that is all we women talk about anyhow. At least most of us.
Anyhow, walk away when you get tired of it. I got tired of hearing of male "conquests" and farting contests at work when I was military. It got old, I walked away. :)

I cannot always walk away, which, of course, is what I do on 3-11, when I can hang out with my pts. More difficult on 11-7, when you spend most of your time at the nurses station, with the additional paperwork, i.e. 24hr chart checks, cleaning up kardexes, and med carts.

Actually, I joined the float pool to get away from the "personal issues" which somehow, was becoming more important than pt care. That allowed me the opportunity to get away from that, as well as the politics of the individual floor. The float pool allows me to keep up my skills in all areas, as well as soothing the gypsy in my soul.