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Kooky Korky 31,281 Views

Joined: Feb 12, '10; Posts: 3,927 (53% Liked) ; Likes: 5,401

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  • 2:50 am

    Quote from PotatoRN
    @RNinthebay
    Thank you for the encouragement and for being open to give advice, I really appreciate it.
    And thanks again for sharing, it was perfect timing as I browsed allnurses after a depressing shift.
    I will definitely be more direct in my replies to her if she does it again. I am glad to hear other nurses stood up for you when she did that, at least everyone sees her poor behavior, that's something I wish would be more common behavior. Staying positive is the hardest part for sure, I also feel that "cry inside" feeling as a sensitive person, but you're right the only choice is to keep working hard and push forward positively or those type of people get the best of us! (Easier said than done sometimes haha). I will keep arriving early and doing my best and try to keep my focus on the patients.

    @broughden
    That is what I was worried about as well. As a new staff it can be a little scary to report, of course there's that fear of some sort of backlash. If it happens again and me addressing her more directly does not change her behavior, I will talk to whoever I need to. Especially if it keeps happening at the bedside report because then it's not just my feelings, it's the effect on patient care. Thanks for the advice!
    Menopause (of the trainer)? Any of a million personal or family situations?Are you a threat to her?

    I would just say to her, as nicely as I could, "When you yell at me or expect me to decide things I don't think I've been trained for yet, or dress me down in front of patients, families, and other staff, it makes me feel nervous, scared, stupid, and angry. I don't know what is making you so impatient, unreasonable, and rude, but it is going to stop now. I will not allow you to treat me and, by extension, families, patients, or other staff, this way any more. Be aware that I will be recording our encounters from now on. If you don't like training me or whatever your issue is, say so. Tell me and tell our boss so that maybe she can take the stress off of you and get me trained by someone who enjoys doing it or, at least, doesn't mind. So think it over and give me your decision about you wish to proceed from this point on in a few minutes".

    Keep it just between the 2 of you at first. If she straightens up, fine. If not, go to the boss. No, you likely can't record legally because of where you are working, there are pts, etc. but I wouldn't assume that. Check with a couple of attorneys in your state. You probably could record when it's just the 2 of you in your office and no specific pt. stuff is mentioned. Good luck.

    Another approach - leave out the recording stuff and just let her know all the rest about you will not allow her to treat you evilly (if that's a word), especially in front of other people. Does she even realize that she is yelling and criticizing instead of speaking calmly?

    Empathize with the possibility that she is ill and/or having lots of trouble at home/personally, but let her know she must leave her troubles at home and treat you with courtesy and respect. If I can help you in any way, I will be happy to do that, but you must learn to show respect for me.

    keep a record of what you've been taught and the date. That will give you some proof that she has not taught you _____ yet.

    Like Broughden, I really am so tired of nurses who won't stand up for themselves. Or go to the offending individual first and try to work it out.

  • Jun 21

    Quote from Ilovenursing3
    Thank you all SO much for taking the time to reply and give advice/input. I think we all have established I need to learn from it and move on. I am not sure if I would have to start a new thread or if I can even ask this kind of question, but I would really like to know what my fellow nurses would do in this situation

    Okay, so I like to open my medications at the bedside. I like to open them one by one and tell them what it is. I was giving medications to one of my patients.(it was my first time taking care of this patient) The last medication I told him, he said verbatim "I didn't know I was taking that medication". I was shocked. I told him I'm not going to give him a medication he didn't feel comfortable taking. My preceptor told him the Prozac was for his stroke to help the healing process. I thought it was great she educated him, and I learned from that. BUT, I told her I was upset he didn't know what medications he was getting. It wasn't an attack on her. She said he has a brain injury so he probably didn't remember. Well, now that I typed that out it doesn't sound so bad. What would you all have done in that situation?

    No need for shock. Do you really think patients always know all of their meds?

  • Jun 21

    Quote from Truth_be-told
    why do you presume they are 'practical nurses'? I worked at a job where i ran circles around the almighty RNs and most sure cop an ego problem about that extra year of college. Are you sure you aren't projecting yourself of some self anointed genius because in the long run, having the money to afford one extra year does not translate to being a brain surgeon vs a janitor. Give me a well seasoned C student LPN with common sense over some of these supposedly impressive RNs that were book smart but were substandard, even dangerous floor nurses. That extra year of school that in many cases your sugar daddy or that wealthy father or mother could buy by no means should place you on some pedestal where you or your ego feels threatened by some 'glorified nurse's aid', as many of you call LPNs.
    Girl, you are so jealous you can't see straight. Carry your behind back to school and get your RN if it means that much to you. Stop crying that no one helped you get that extra year (or 2 ) of school and just go get it.

    I had no sugar Mama or Daddy or wealthy parents. I worked hard for what I have. If family can't help you, make some friends and help each other. Other nurses here have done military service, which is no joke. They work and go to school and raise kids, all at once.

    I am not on a pedestal. I don't think any RN here is. We have all cleaned pee, poo, blood, saliva, sweat, pus, mucus, and vomit. Be that as it may, just deal with your own life.

    You won't, though, because you don't want to face up to the reality that you have or had chances to become an RN but passed them up. So you've settled for bitterness and now you're used to that and you're too scared or too lazy to change anything.

    Much easier to hate and be jealous of others and blame their good luck (which many here probably never actually had) than try to fix your own life.

    I am asking God to open your eyes and help you see how you should proceed from here. At the very least, start counting your blessings every day and every night. You aren't homeless, you have an income, you have sufficient food and clean water, you have clothes on your ack and shoes on your feet, there are no bombers overhead, there is likely at least 1 person who loves you, and you have more than that to be grateful for, I bet.

    Just an aside - I used to work with an LPN who was a total ball of anger, or so we all thought. She was an excellent nurse, by the way, and her patients loved her, but mean as mean can be to coworkers.

    I noticed that she always wore a jacket that had race cars on it. So one day I bought a little race car - a kid size model of a car on her jacket. I gave it to her, said something like "I see you like cars. I saw this in the store and thought you might enjoy it". She nearly kissed me. From that point on, the point at which I took a slight personal interest in her, she couldn't say enough good about me. I guess I was the only one, in a long, long time, who did that. It cost me only a couple of dollars but it made her feel like a million bucks.

    So, OP, maybe you can find a way to break through some of the meanness by finding some way to relate to the meannies on a personal level.

    Of course, some people would love to hear that you have trouble in your end of paradise. They are suffering and they want to know that other people, those THEY have placed on pedestals, have trouble, too.

  • Jun 21

    Quote from Truth_be-told
    why do you presume they are 'practical nurses'? I worked at a job where i ran circles around the almighty RNs and most sure cop an ego problem about that extra year of college. Are you sure you aren't projecting yourself of some self anointed genius because in the long run, having the money to afford one extra year does not translate to being a brain surgeon vs a janitor. Give me a well seasoned C student LPN with common sense over some of these supposedly impressive RNs that were book smart but were substandard, even dangerous floor nurses. That extra year of school that in many cases your sugar daddy or that wealthy father or mother could buy by no means should place you on some pedestal where you or your ego feels threatened by some 'glorified nurse's aid', as many of you call LPNs.
    OP is not presuming. She can likely be trusted to know the titles of her coworkers.

    TBT, you have some real anger and jealousy issues.

    If you hate Nursing so much, why not just go back to Education or Resp Therapy? I guess you can't. you likely have not been able to hold a job for a while because of your horrible attitude.

    I hope you get the counseling you so desperately need.

    Purposely making your neighbors angry? Wow, that is so wrong. I hope I don't read about you in Serial Killers/Mass Killers Monthly. Please get help.

    Sorry I assumed you were female earlier. I know now, after reading all of your posts, that you are a male.

    Best wishes in all areas of your life.

  • Jun 21

    Quote from roser13
    Definitely do not refer to nurses eating their young. It is an overworked, over-exaggerated phrase and (to most nurses) a reason to discount the person using it.
    Not to me. Nurses absolutely do eat their young. As well as their
    middle-aged and old.

    OP, I would have told, in a very menacing manner, the nurse who yelled at me to never do it again. especially in front of a patient and/or family. Ever.
    Don't let people walk on you like that.

    Be glad you are out of that awful situation. Take the advice others have given here, don't look back. The best is yet to come. I think you'll do fine.

    I think it might be OK to tell the interviewers how many preceptors you had, how they taught you different things, and some of the other major issues you had with them. Don't get too much into things, but don't go in feeling inadequate and like a failure. It should tell you something that they hired such a huge number of new nurses at once.

  • Jun 21

    Quote from Sour Lemon
    I just watched it. The patient seemed very in control and manipulative. I do wonder, what are the doctors supposed to do in situations like these? Just serve up whatever the patient requests on a silver platter? Aside from grabbing the patient's arm, I don't see that the doctor was anything other than blunt.
    She used a forbidden word (it's bleeped out). She mocked him. She told him about her troubles and the troubles of other patients. She heard "narcotics" when the pt did not say that. She ASSumed he wanted narcs and was a druggie.

    She could have just done the physical exam, concluded he was not in serious danger, gotten a Psych consult, tried talking to him about his reasons for being in the ER, ordered the fluid - she did apparently think he was in need of it, and ordered some pain med, like OTC stuff. Instead, she was rude.

    I think the punishment is somewhat excessive. Maybe a short suspension and counseling would have been enough, not total blacklisting. I also wonder who was taping this. Someone with the patient, I suppose, so no hiding it from the whole world.

    I wonder if the pt is OK and what will become of the doc.

  • Jun 21

    Quote from Ilovenursing3
    Thank you for your response. I feel bad I mentioned in my above post I thought someone would need more than three years expierience to train. I didn't mean it in a manner she doesn't know what she's doing. I could have elaborated on what is actually going on and maybe in my mind is was becoming beyond stressful. I think as a preceptor she should let me know when something changes with a patient and also to help when a patient's bed alarm goes off. A prime example of what I perceived as being team players-I was in the med room looking at which meds were due next. My preceptor was sitting at the nurses station with the nurses aide "who will run circles around me" (her words) A patient's bed alarm went off and I didn't see her or the aide(-not the one she pushed) run, so I ran. The keys to the med room were left on the med cart in the med room. Yup, it's my fault for leaving the keys in there and I take responsibility for that. But, I would have appreciated some type of thank you for caring about the patient vs. "you left the keys in the med room". (The aides always have an extra set) I do things all day long and I love it, but during report she will give say she did everything. Basically it looks like I did nothing all day. She withholds information about patient's that are important for me to know. I'm not sure if she does this intentionally, but it's getting old. I hope this doesn't come across as childish, as when she's giving off report and claiming she did everything all day, I just let it go. I always make sure if I'm not doing anything I ask anyone if they need help. Another prime example is since we are both taking care of the same patients together, if she does something for a patient I told her I don't want to take credit for someone else's work so she should document it. She will do something, not document it and it makes me look like it wasn't done. She will say "well this is late". It's so bizarre to me and maybe it's not even possible someone could be that manipulative.

    I'm sure it sounds petty, but I was sooo excited to go to work and work with patients and I still am. I noticed this was getting the best of me.

    So, yes you are very correct and I do need to re-focus. Your feedback was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm sure I am the most frustrating person to train as I am new and I ask a ton of questions. I am a what if type of person. I finally give insulin with confidence. I give it, then check on the patient to make sure they are okay. I look back to a week and half ago thinking I was being ridiculous worrying about insulin.
    Never become complacent about insulin or any other meds. Confident yes, complacent NO. It is good to re-check patients.

    Ask your questions. Talk out the "what if" scenarios. You are there to learn. Your preceptor might not know the answers, try not to embarrass her, but do get the info you need. Although it might be better to look it up, ask someone else, or ask later.

    Stop self-flagellating. you are not the "most frustrating" person. Maybe she's just not a great teacher. And 3 years is something, but she is still fairly new.

    Find some way to either not worry about not getting credit when she is giving report or speak up and say "I flushed the tube" or whatever it is.

    This will end soon, I hope. Your training, I mean.

    What kind of info is she withholding? Examples? Call her on it, nicely, but let her know you are hip to what she seems to be doing and that you need to know all info about your patients. You can ask her throughout the day about things, too. "Any new orders?" "

    Keep hold of those med room/cart keys. Period. Why do aides have keys to these areas/items?

    It is not your job to run breakneck to check an alarm when 2 people are "just sitting" at the desk, especially the aide.

  • Jun 21

    Quote from nightlightnurseaide
    Didn't read the entire story, but stopped at the start to say thank you for getting that bed alarm. In my the nursing home I work in I can be in the room with a patient and momentarily stop everything I'm doing to get a bed alarm, because my nurses refuse to get up and make sure the patient don't fall
    What are they doing instead of getting to the patient?

  • Jun 20

    Quote from alwayslookingnp
    I have seen more nurses lose their jobs over schedule conflicts than anything else. You want to go to church, the other wants to be with her family, that one has small children. The list goes on and on. Scheduling is not easy. You cannot make everyone happy. I am an experienced NP and I can tell you no one ever made concessions for me because i had small children, had no babysitter, kids had an event at school or church, and on and on and on. The ones who whine and beg and demand annoy everyone, whether they will tell you so or not. If they give in and give you extra days, your manager and coworkers will be annoyed. Little things become big things and before long, you are ostracized and run off. I would strongly encourage you to take the schedule you are given and not complain. You knew what nursing was when you get into it.
    I can honestly say I didn't fully understand what Nursing involved re: schedule before I got into it. I didn't know any nurses and no one prepared me for having to work holidays, weekends, etc.

    One of the best scheduling techniques I know of is for staff to schedule themselves. If there are any gaps or too many people want to work or be off on any given day or shift, Management has the final word.

  • Jun 20

    Quote from CelticGoddess
    I watched the video 2x and I have come to the same conclusion: the patient is being ridiculous . For a person who can't inhale, he can certainly talk really well. I know that when I have been to the point where I am unable to breathe easily (I have asthma) I can get maybe 2 words out before I am out of breath. No way was he unable to "inhale" if he can talk that well. The whole thing just has me shaking my head.

    The doc maybe should have been a bit less direct but you can see (hear) the frustration she has at that point. Sadly, she'll be the bad guy to a lot of people.
    There are, as you know, many lung diseases besides asthma, other reasons for feeling like one can't breathe.

    Doc was rude and sarcastic, used a curse word. Someone above stated, correctly, that she lacked courtesy and finesse. She was feeling overwhelmed and overworked and she showed it, sadly. She also might have missed something. Zebras, you know.

  • Jun 20

    Quote from Sour Lemon
    I just watched it. The patient seemed very in control and manipulative. I do wonder, what are the doctors supposed to do in situations like these? Just serve up whatever the patient requests on a silver platter? Aside from grabbing the patient's arm, I don't see that the doctor was anything other than blunt.
    She used a forbidden word (it's bleeped out). She mocked him. She told him about her troubles and the troubles of other patients. She heard "narcotics" when the pt did not say that. She ASSumed he wanted narcs and was a druggie.

    She could have just done the physical exam, concluded he was not in serious danger, gotten a Psych consult, tried talking to him about his reasons for being in the ER, ordered the fluid - she did apparently think he was in need of it, and ordered some pain med, like OTC stuff. Instead, she was rude.

    I think the punishment is somewhat excessive. Maybe a short suspension and counseling would have been enough, not total blacklisting. I also wonder who was taping this. Someone with the patient, I suppose, so no hiding it from the whole world.

    I wonder if the pt is OK and what will become of the doc.

  • Jun 20

    Quote from Ilovenursing3
    Thank you all SO much for taking the time to reply and give advice/input. I think we all have established I need to learn from it and move on. I am not sure if I would have to start a new thread or if I can even ask this kind of question, but I would really like to know what my fellow nurses would do in this situation

    Okay, so I like to open my medications at the bedside. I like to open them one by one and tell them what it is. I was giving medications to one of my patients.(it was my first time taking care of this patient) The last medication I told him, he said verbatim "I didn't know I was taking that medication". I was shocked. I told him I'm not going to give him a medication he didn't feel comfortable taking. My preceptor told him the Prozac was for his stroke to help the healing process. I thought it was great she educated him, and I learned from that. BUT, I told her I was upset he didn't know what medications he was getting. It wasn't an attack on her. She said he has a brain injury so he probably didn't remember. Well, now that I typed that out it doesn't sound so bad. What would you all have done in that situation?

    No need for shock. Do you really think patients always know all of their meds?

  • Jun 20

    Quote from CelticGoddess
    I watched the video 2x and I have come to the same conclusion: the patient is being ridiculous . For a person who can't inhale, he can certainly talk really well. I know that when I have been to the point where I am unable to breathe easily (I have asthma) I can get maybe 2 words out before I am out of breath. No way was he unable to "inhale" if he can talk that well. The whole thing just has me shaking my head.

    The doc maybe should have been a bit less direct but you can see (hear) the frustration she has at that point. Sadly, she'll be the bad guy to a lot of people.
    There are, as you know, many lung diseases besides asthma, other reasons for feeling like one can't breathe.

    Doc was rude and sarcastic, used a curse word. Someone above stated, correctly, that she lacked courtesy and finesse. She was feeling overwhelmed and overworked and she showed it, sadly. She also might have missed something. Zebras, you know.

  • Jun 19

    If she is literally pushing the aide, that is more than bullying. That is battery.

  • Jun 19

    What helps avoid tickets is:
    being white
    being female
    being older
    being young and beautiful/handsome
    being courteous
    being calm
    not being threatening
    being a nurse, EMT, firefighter, other first responder.

    If you do get a ticket, call the officer who gave it to you
    the next day, thank him for helping you realize you were speeding,
    and very politely mention that you're a nurse. "Say, if you're ever over at West Valley Hospital, I'm a nurse in the ER. Stop by and say "hello". "We love us some cops over there and we have the best coffee in town". Or something akin to that.

    This approach worked for a Sheriff's Deputy when he was ticketed by a Statie. The Statie agreed to not show up in court, so the case was tossed.

    Life is unfair. Sometimes we have to use the advantages we
    happen to have.


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