a few of matts last words before termination

1.is that thing grounded?

2.50 mgs of epinephrine, coming right up

3.360 joules didnt do the trick, so i severed the wires wires and stuck it on his tongue, hey it was a last ditch effort

4.aw c'mon doc, that guy was always complaining of chest pain

5.he said he was thirsty, so i told him to get up off his fat ass and get a drink

6.i never thought the colostomy bag would actually explode...and/or

7.but he dared me to light it

8.i thought recycling plastic iv tubing would be good for the environment

9.i wasnt being judgemental when i told the guy we'd need a colonoscopy the size of a 747 to do his flex sig

10.look, between you and me boss, this whole computer charting is so time consuming, that i figured i'd just estimate his lab values

[Terre]

I knew of a staff nurse who actually got fired for calling in sick with this excuse...

"Something came up...and it won't be down until morning."