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Male nurse crying!!!

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by ClassQ1 ClassQ1 (Member) Member

ClassQ1 has 1 years experience and specializes in ER/ICU.

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You are reading page 14 of Male nurse crying!!!. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

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Positive_Attitude, a cousin of mine works in the funeral business in a medium-small town. He mirrors exactly your sentiments on how he is there to provide support, information and help when people need it. He is their rock for a short while when they need it, and it sounds like you have taken that role too.

Being appropriate, I think that sums it up the best.

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NickiLaughs has 10 years experience as a ADN, BSN, RN and specializes in Emergency, Trauma, Critical Care.

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Im a female and I have only cried a couple times. Out of the room usually in the break room, just for a second because I was devastated for a family who lost a person far too young. I'm usually fine with the patient loss, it's seeing the reaction of a young child after the loss of a parent or a parent who lost a teenager. That saddens me.

I agree that we are there to be their rock, and let them grieve however appropriately. I may tear up a bit, especially when I've been taking care of a patient, and bonded with their family for months. I think to express slight emotion to show the family that you care (empathy as it is, is appropriate). However, it very open to interpretation. I can see how bawling in the room with the family can put a family off.

Men crying at their own emotional life events is hot. Nothing was hotter to me than the day my son was born, and my husband had tears in eyes.

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Positive Attitude has 26 years experience and specializes in Palliative care.

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Im a female and I have only cried a couple times. Out of the room usually in the break room, just for a second because I was devastated for a family who lost a person far too young.

Great, and if we ever stop being affected by some of the things we deal with, it's time for a career change!

Men crying at their own emotional life events is hot. Nothing was hotter to me than the day my son was born, and my husband had tears in eyes.

Mmmm, is your husband cute?

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OCNRN63 is a RN and specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

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Is it cold to be professional and keep a professional distance? Does that make one a cyborg? I think not.

I have lost a father, a mother and a sister in hospital. If on any occasion a member of staff had cried with me I'd have found that inappropriate and unwelcome. What I wanted and needed was information, straight talk, and people who treated my loved ones with care and dignity without getting OTT or trying to be my "friend". That is exactly what I got and I appreciated the first class professional care. I try to give the same.

I sometimes suspect that some nurses who try to get too close to patients and families perhaps lack something in their own personal realtionships, and sometimes try to compensate innapropriately with people they meet at work? Not healthy for nurse, patient or family IMHO.

I don't think occasionally shedding a tear over a patient, or even with a patient, means the nurse has something lacking in his/her personal life. I try to keep a level of detachment from my patients ( you have to, to survive in my dept.), but occasionally, there are people who for some reason connect with you. When someone like that cries because they found out they have disease progression and there's nothing else to do, yeah, I have teared up on occasion. Like I said, the "Crying Police" haven't come knocking on my door. You'd think after 26y they would have caught up with me.

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DavidFR has 30 years experience and specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health.

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I try to keep a level of detachment from my patients .

Evidently you don't succeed if you cry over them.

but occasionally, there are people who for some reason connect with you. When someone like that cries because they found out they have disease progression and there's nothing else to do, yeah, I have teared up on occasion. .

Patients and families have enough to worry about without the added worry of "ooh, the poor nurse who's done so much for me is upset now" Especially if they like you and have appreciated your work, it turns the focus on you when it should be on the person lying in the bed and their loved ones.

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OCNRN63 is a RN and specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

5,978 Posts; 53,877 Profile Views

Evidently you don't succeed if you cry over them.

Patients and families have enough to worry about without the added worry of "ooh, the poor nurse who's done so much for me is upset now" Especially if they like you and have appreciated your work, it turns the focus on you when it should be on the person lying in the bed and their loved ones.

You don't read so good, do you? Otherwise you would have recalled that I said I didn't break down sobbing, but on occasion with a special patient, yes, I have been known to shed a tear. I never said anything about needing consoling from the family; that doesn't happen. It doesn't happen with every patient, just the ones that come along once in a while you really connect with. No one has ever complained about those rare occasions: not patients, not families, not co-workers. I have gotten plenty of "thank you's" from patients and families for my care.

It's OK to be human, really.

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DavidFR has 30 years experience and specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health.

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You don't read so good, do you? Otherwise you would have recalled that I said I didn't break down sobbing, but on occasion with a special patient, yes, I have been known to shed a tear. I never said anything about needing consoling from the family; that doesn't happen. It doesn't happen with every patient, just the ones that come along once in a while you really connect with. No one has ever complained about those rare occasions: not patients, not families, not co-workers. I have gotten plenty of "thank you's" from patients and families for my care.

It's OK to be human, really.

You claim I don't read well and then you contradict that 100% by re-iterating that you have shed a tear with patients. That no family has ever tried to console you or complained about you doesn't mean that they weren't perhaps in some way negatively affected by your tears. It's unprofessional and if you felt tears coming in front of a patient/family you should have left the room and asked a colleague to relieve you until you could pull yourself together.

I am human with my patients every day. I am never inappropriate or OTT however.

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Old.Timer has 25ish years experience.

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How in the world can you accuse OCN of making a generalized assumption about male nurses claiming that it was based on very limited info? Do you realize that you have just done the exact same thing to her by assuming to have the inside skinny on how she behaves,feels and thinks; all based on one isolated comment she made re shedding a tear with a patient.

Geesh !!

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DavidFR has 30 years experience and specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health.

192 Posts; 5,423 Profile Views

How in the world can you accuse OCN of making a generalized assumption about male nurses claiming that it was based on very limited info? Do you realize that you have just done the exact same thing to her by assuming to have the inside skinny on how she behaves,feels and thinks; all based on one isolated comment she made re shedding a tear with a patient.

Geesh !!

OCN admits to having done something I personally find unacceptable in front of a patient or relative, and hence I judge that, yes. In expanding my assumptions to others you will note I used phrases such as "I sometimes suspect that......." etc. OCN however, chose to judge all male nurses as "cold" on the strength of one comment from one male nurse (myself). You may think that's the same thing Old Timer, but personally, I beg to differ.

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JenniferSews specializes in Professional Development Specialist.

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I think shedding a tear with a patient or family can be completely appropriate at times! If a caregiver sheds a tear with my mom when my nana finally passes, I would appreciate that the caregiver cared enough to share our sorrow.

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NP Joel has 8 years experience and specializes in Oncology, Acute care.

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I've only ever cried when a paed patient had died.

I then decided to never work in paediatrics or neonatal again. As I'm a father of 3 children, it's just to heartbreaking to see.

I admire all nurses who have and are working in these areas.

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OCNRN63 is a RN and specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

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How in the world can tearing up on a rare occasion equate sobbing uncontrollably to the point of needing consolation from the family? Like I said, you don't read so good, or else somewhere along the line your comprehension skills deteriorated.

Just because you personally find it unacceptable to share emotions on occasion with a patient does not mean it is. That's your word, not mine (nor not that of other nurses, either).While I rarely ever share personal information with a patient, there have been a few occasions where it was helpful to the patient. The world is not blackened white.

I've never been counseled for behaving inappropriately with a patient or family, and I've gotten more than my share of compliments/thank you cards, etc. from them. Maybe you've never had a pt. or family member complain about you, but that doesn't mean they may not have wanted to or thought you were cold and uncaring. I'm not saying you have to get enmeshed with every patient to provide good care, but you raise the level of attachment to being in the next room.

If you find that being distant with all of your patients helps you cope with your job, good for you. Not everyone needs to operate under your rigid rules to provide good nursing care, not just meeting their medical needs. From a personal standpoint, as a cancer patient who has just been given even more bad news, my preference would be for the nurse who displays humanity. (Some humility wouldn't hurt, either.)

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