L&D Nursing after neonatal loss...

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Specializes in Pediatric Oncology/Pediatric Emergency.

Four years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who died of sepsis 29 hrs after she was born (I was GBS+) and after my wonderful yet heartbreaking experience in the NICU, I decided to become a nurse. I would have never made it through that time if it were not for the nurses. (I was previously in school to become an MD.)

I am now nearly finished with my BSN (I will graduate this December) and am considering going into L&D nursing. I currently work in a busy ER as a nurse tech and I love that atmosphere as well.

I had never thought of going into L&D simply because I felt it would be too personal, too many memories, too difficult a place for me to be. Wondering why all these mothers had healthy, normal deliveries (even those who are GBS+) and I was unable to have the same. Anyway, when I did my rotation through L&D for school, I fell in love with it. I didn't have any of those feelings, I just felt like I belonged in the L&D room, coaching, helping, supporting. I loved the atmosphere, the fact that most patients are not "ill" and that you are a small part (to them) of a wonderful beginning in their lives.

My question to you nurses: Have you lost a baby, at any time during gestation, not just at delivery, and continued to work in L&D? Would you advise me differently?

Thanks in advance.

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I don't know how it feels to lose a newborn but I have had 2 miscarriages and I know how horrible I felt with those, I was a nurse in an OB office at the time as well which was horrible when it happened. However, I went back to the hospital to do postpartum about a year later and there are times when it hit pretty hard but mostly it was wonderful to see new life. I then had a healthy baby while I worked in postpartum as well. My personal philosophy is do what makes you happy, it may be rough at times no matter what you choose.

On the other side of things, I always felt like I was much better prepared to handle those patients who had miscarriages, fetal demises or infant deaths because I could relate to them with true and honest tears and compassion.

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Specializes in geriatrics.

First, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss:o I work in LTC so I cannot say how it may be for you to return to the area that has touched you so, but that may in fact be "your calling". You will understand (as no one else can) when others go through the same experience and having you there will help ease them through their pain.

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Specializes in heme/onc (adult), NICU.

First I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your little angel girl is very pround of her mommy now! IMHO, if you feel that L&D is your calling, go for it! All fields of nursing are rewarding in their own way, but I think that there is a special place for everyone and if you feel that L&D is for you, give it a shot and good luck!

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Specializes in Pediatric Oncology/Pediatric Emergency.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts- I appreciate the feedback and thought the same myself, in regard to being able to better appreciate and help patients through difficult times.

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I'm sorry you went through such a heartbreaking experience. I know several L&D and NICU nurses who have suffered perinatal and neonatal losses. Some do well, others don't. It's more about the individual IMO.

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Sorry to hear of your loss. If you had those positive experiences while you were in school and have thought it out, then there is no reason why you can't try that area. And remember, if it doesn't work out, you can always change. Many nurses change their areas or specialties over the years just to experience something different and to keep from burnout, so changing if you find it too difficult is ok. Just do what seems to be for you. I don't think you will find it impossible. In fact, you will be able to give more of yourself and your nursing will be more meaningful personally. Bless you for choosing this path.

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Specializes in nursery, L and D.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know several nurses that have had fetal/infant loss, including me, that do well. We also have one nurse who struggled with infertility and finally had a son, and she does well, as well as any of us do. Sometimes she and others get upset when we have a drug baby, etc, but that is human, and who doesn't get upset? If you feel that it would be your "niche" go for it, and if it doesn't feel right after a while, there is a thousand and one other areas to go into. The positives of being a nurse! Good luck!

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Specializes in OB L&D Mother/Baby.

I'm sorry for your loss:o

I work L&D and recently miscarried. It is frustrating for me at times because I do take care of teen moms, or moms that don't take care of or really want their children, drug moms etc. But for the most part it is still a rewarding job. I do feel like my loss has made me really appreciate the sadness that those patients feel that I have cared for that have had demises or still births. Good luck in whatever you end up doing...

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I hear what you are saying and understand your concern. Having had multiple losses myself, I relate. I do think it's made me most able to empathize when such things happen to families in my care. I can't say it's easy, because it's not. But it is certainly worth it. I have always wanted to be an OB nurse, and that after 10 years of many different situations, still has not changed.

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