Kids Say the Darndest Things...

[Music in My Heart]

I was sharing with a coworker some of the sweet/sad/cute/charming things that my DD said while she had RSV as a toddler or was recovering from major surgery when she was 5. It got me to wondering what kinds of things you pedi nurses have heard.

1) When looking up at the bag of NS: "Daddy, where's the goldfish?"

2) Referring to her neurosurgeon as the "narrow surgeon."

3) When experiencing severe facial edema: "I just wanna take the mask off."

4) We'd explained that Bob the RT was there to help the sick kids... We'd ask, "What's Bob's job?" Her reply, "To help six kids."

5) When at her wit's end with discomfort and fed up with the whole experience: "I just want to break all their toys... and I'd laugh!"

6) After a few days with a Foley: (Very seriously) "Now I know where my pee comes out."

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Please share some of the memorable things "your" kids have said.

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

My son was 5 1/2 and needed tube feedings overnight to improve his nutrition post liver transplant. The nurse came to the room with all the supplies to drop an NG and then explained what she was going to do in very simple terms. When she was done she offered him a choice - she could put the NG in and leave it in, or she could put it in overnight and take it out in the morning... with the understanding that he'd have another one droppped the next night. He chose door #2. So she popped in the NG. When she was done, he looked at me with puppy-dog eyes and said, "Is it okay if I change my mind?"

Another time, when he was three and on chemotherapy, he came down with chicken pox despite the timely administration of VZiG. He was a real chatterbox and has never met a stranger. After he was discharged from a week-long stay for antiviral therapy, we went back to the oncology clinic for his next treatment. One of the other moms he knew well from Ronald McDonald House asked him what was new. "Betty," says he, "I had the chicken fox and I almost died!" His voice was just dripping with melodrama...

[Saalbunch]

When my son was 3 he had to have a circ done. A couple of months later we seen the surgeon at a store and my son yelled "Mommy look it's the pee pee doctor!"

While taking care of a baby in the NICU, the little girls big brother came in to see her for the first time. He looked at her and then looked at a little boy in a swing across the room and said; "Daddy can we take that one instead!"

[Vespertinas]

I'm not a peds nurse but.... I was drawing blood on my patient and her 4 year old grandson said, "grandma why are they doing that?" to which grandmother replied, "the nurse is drawing my blood and she's going to send it to the *lab*. The *lab* is going to test the blood to make sure everything is alright."

The grandson thought for a moment and said... "A dog can do all that??"

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

The best was probably a 3 year old with a CSF leak s/p arachnoid cyst fenestration who ended up with a lumbar drain. One day, as I was walking him to the playroom, he looked at me and his dad and asked if the fluid coming out of his back was "pee". Priceless.

I also once had a teenager with severe autism who had to be in soft restraints to prevent him from pulling his drains and PICC out. Every time he saw me, he'd say, "want to take the bracelets off."

[~PedsRN~, BSN, RN]

The kids on my floor make me laugh and make me want to cry all in the same night. :) They never cease to amaze me with what comes out of their mouths! Kids are awesome.

[Dela RN]

I had a elementary school patient I was admitting. One of the questions we ask is if there were any dietary concerns they wanted the hospital to be aware of like if they were a vegetarian. The kid thought very intently and responded, "Ummm we're omnivores"

[sarahs123456]

I work in a Pediatric clinic. One of the kids needed to get a throat culture. She said to her mom "I don't want a throat sculpture".

I had a 4 yr call me a "big fat fart!" - I think he was there for a behavior consult.

A little girl with dysuria said it felt like she was peeing balls.

[umcRN, BSN, RN]

Had a ten year old who was from another country, had been very sick for weeks, now doing better but her poor hair was matted to the core. Her mother had been working on it for days and finally resorted to cutting some of the mats out. She actually had very long hair so you couldnt tell where the cut parts were but she was sobbing and sobbing. Well I had brain surgery a few months prior and they had shaved a few inches off the front of my head, it's a fairly interesting look to say the least so I started showing her my hair, telling her about my surgery and how my hair was growing back but looked really silly for a few weeks. She shooed me away and said "but that is the style in america!" Haha oh I wish, but she made me laugh

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

I had to irrigate a 3 year old's eyes out with a liter each of NSS because the docs were worried about chemical exposure to his eyes. While I was doing this, he was screaming and crying and then started yelling "EFF YOU! EFF YOU! EFF YOUR FACE!"

Except he wasn't saying "eff" he was actually dropping the F-bomb. It's probably one of the more shocking things I've ever heard a kid say.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

Last week, I was doing a home visit for subq methotrexate for a 4 year old with JRA. I had come from the office so I wasn't wearing scrubs. The child looked at me as I was drawing up her nebs and said, "your pants are too big." I told her they fit fine and her aunt then felt the need to inform her that she just thought this because I "have a big booty."

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

This thread is a little old but I have a new one. Today one of my patients (same one as above) says to me (she's 5): "you're big, are you six?" And I said no and she said "but I'm five and you're bigger than me, so are you six?" I told her no again and then she said "so you're ten?" She probably would have fallen off her chair if I told her my real age.