he just wants to die...

Valerie Salva, BSN, RN · Jan 26, 2009

Has there been a social services and/or psych referral for this pt?

Maybe you could tell him (if it's true) that caring for him is not a burdon and ask him what made him come to feel the way he does?

wishiwereanurse, BSN, RN · Jan 26, 2009

he's responsible for himself and he's a sane man. He said he's just sick and tired of being locked up in the nursing home, so he's refusing care..

This is the first time in my life that someone told me they want to die. My boyfriend is yelling at me 'cuz he thinks I'm too attached to my patients. But I actually care, so I think this is why I am crying.

heron, ASN, RN · Jan 26, 2009

Refusing food or meds is just about the only way a person can have any control over the end of his life. And his life will end, sooner or later, easy or hard.

A psych referral would be useful to establish whether he's competent to refuse care ... or you could ask him if he wants to talk to someone from hospice.

I know it's hard, but if you are able to sit with this guy and just let him talk about his decision ... cry and tell him you'll miss him if that's how you feel ... you'll do yourself and him a world of good.

For a lot of elders, the worst part of dying is doing so alone, with no-one willing to face it with them or talk to them about it.

JustADream · Jan 26, 2009

You have already been given good advice for your patient, but another thing I wanted to mention is that your boyfriend should not be yelling at you for your concern over this man. It is a very serious situation and I think it is great that you care so much, especially in light of the fact that you mentioned the rest of the staff is not so concerned about his well-being. When I become a nurse, I know there will be situations that "get" me like that- and it helps to know I have support at home when the shift is over should I need it and your boyfriend should work to make you feel that way as well, not that you can't talk to him about it.

Best of luck!

chicookie, BSN, RN · Jan 26, 2009

Tell him to stop being a jerk and yelling at you. No offense.

It nice to see someone care so much for their pt. I commend your efforts. That is what is means to be a nurse, caring and comfort. As to your pt, I don't know. I not really sure what to do in that situation other than talking to the patient and then getting psy to come talk with them.

Good luck!!

loriangel14, RN · Jan 26, 2009

I deal with this a lot at my workplace. We try to encourage gently but if their minds are made up have to respect that.Many pts just stop taking anything in when they are ready to go. The latest was 96 and would tell everyone he just wanted to die.It took him almost a week but he finally slipped away Saturday.

tencat · Jan 26, 2009

I agree that a psych/social work eval is warrented. But, if after that he still wants to stay the course, hospice would be helpful to provide him with the support and/or medications he may need. And there is nothing wrong with crying with or about patients. It might be good for this man to know that you care.

liveyourlife747 · Jan 26, 2009

I would talk with him, encourage him, and then document, document, document everything that went on, why he's refusing, what the nurse said to encourage, etc. this would be proof the the nurse did try to encourage just in case someone decided to sue.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Jan 26, 2009

You have already been given good advice for your patient, but another thing I wanted to mention is that your boyfriend should not be yelling at you for your concern over this man.

I agree with this. By "yelling", do you mean he is actually raising his voice and shouting at you? What a jerk!