IV Benadryl......

Omaapecm, ASN, RN · Jan 26, 2016

Yes, addiction is such an ugly ugly disease. Was it just the one relapse or has it continues for awhile? One thing I have learned is that your have to put yourself first.....meaning you can't and shouldn't avoid getting help for fear of punishment from the board. If you don't seek the help you need then your going to loose a lot more than your license in the end. As for asking to be tested specifically for Benadryl........that's something you will have to figure out. You were clean for 27 months so I don't know how being tested for Benadryl will help. It will definitely make you accountable......Relapse happens, it's sucks but it's true. It all depends on how you react to the relapse. When I relapsed I just picked up the pieces and kept it moving . I could never quite figured out what the trigger was that day and that was ok for me. I wish you all the best and good luck with your sobriety

nico2843 · Jan 26, 2016

Thank you! It happened once....but I had plans to do it again. Not sure what I'm going to do yet but I do know I will NOT let this disease take over again

paidmydues · Jan 27, 2016

Likelyy your higher power stopped you sweetheart. Sounds like you are still in the grips of our disease. I relapsed with alcohol after 25 years of continuous sobriety. I am working my stipulations off and have renewed my recovery program. ...but this disease is truly "cunnung, baffling and powerful." Life was a little tough preceeding my relapse, but to this day I am completely unable to grasp WHY I chose a sunny day at the end of July 2013 to go to a fancy winery and order that $22.00 glass of Pinot...still baffled. Take care and (((((hugs)))))

1sttime · Jan 28, 2016

A relapse or a slip up is a part of recovery- I had a slip up after 2 years- horrific but I kept moving forward- I went back to counseling and tried to figure out what happened.

I can't tell you what I think would be most helpful for you- for me getting caught and having to go through part of the process again was helpful, luckily I went to an addiction specialist who felt that regular work was paramount to recovery- he did not want me to have time on my hands.

Be grateful that you are still learning, and know that you will get through this to a healthier place

allnurses Guide · Jan 29, 2016

So ******* stupid!!!!! Why why why did I do what I did??!?!?!? I HATE this disease!!!
Here's the (short) story....
Im in MN monitoring program and have been clean for 27 months... until the other week I had this super strong impulse to get high; and I frikkin now better!!! I went through SO much treatment and learned so much and have lots of tools for situations like these but I don't know what happened- I just gave in My husband was looking for the car keys and found benadryl & saline in my purse (I did not take benadryl from work; I buy caps from store). So now what-- he's obviously extremely pissed off, hurt, etc, etc.....along with my mom and rest of my family.
I guess my main questions are: can I call my monitoring guy and request that I be tested for Benadryl too (god that sounds so dumb!) or will I be asked a million questions and likely sent to BON????
Another question- if I decided to go back to an outpatient treatment program (my family thinks I need this; I truthfully do not feel I am to that point) do I get reported to BON? (assuming I would b/c I would need a new assessment...)
I don't know what to do; hate this **** so much! Currently my plan is: 90 meetings in 90 days, find a new sponsor (I had one but we went our own ways about a year ago) and rework the steps
Thoughts. Suggestions. Insight. Such a relief this board is here....thank you

I am going to tell you what no one else has - Let go of stinking thinking. Call your sponsor rework the 4th and 5th step or start all over if you need to right now you need to be in daily contact with people working a strong program of recovery. Turn your thinking over to the God of your understanding and your sponsor. The answers will come.

Hppy

CryssyD · Jan 29, 2016

What hppy said.

Get with your sponsor. Talk it out. Why did it happen? What did you learn from it? What are you going to do the next time you feel the urge to get high? (I can answer that: Pick up that thousand-pound phone, call someone, and come up with a better plan!)

Most of all, though, learn from this and move on. It happens--you're human. You can forgive yourself; however, you must remember--you may not have control over your disease, your feelings, your impulses, but you DO have control over your choices! Next time, make the right one!

Guest849204 · Feb 9, 2016

I would recommend getting a private psychiatrist/psychologist/counselor/therapist to discover and deal with the underlying reasons for your drug use. Look for a non-prescribing psychologist unless you know a psychiatrist skilled in psychotherapy. The goal is to develop a trusting relationship with them and being as open an honest as possible, as they will be relying only on what you tell them to identify your stressors.

Once your stressors are identified, you will learn to recognize them more easily and to make changes in your life designed to minimize stressors and develope better coping mechanisms when stressors are unavoidable. Addiction is basically just a harmful way of coping with negative stimuli (stress, anxiety, depression, anger, fear, etc) and to really recover you need to identify what your personal triggers for use are and then work on new ways to cope. This is very hard without a trained professional.

As far as contacting the BON goes, I won't advocate that you break any rules or laws but if it's all up to you I would keep them out of the loop as much as possible. What you need is good therapy, not punishment or more restrictions so go with a private therapist and take advantage of the privacy laws that exist for every other medical condition. Only go to the board if you really need to in order to protect yourself or your patients. Even if you are concerned that you can't practice safely, it's better to take some time off from work and come back when you are ready. BON's are getting better at handling substance abuse cases, but as I'm sure you know they are still too punitive and as a result doctors and nurses don't come forward for treatment or report impaired colleagues until things get more serious, which risks the patient's health and the professionals health.

Congrats on how far you've made it! I've seen addiction on both an academic level and in a very close friend but please do not take my advice or anyone else's advice over the advice of a trained professional responsible for your treatment plan.