Is it ok to be a shy nurse?

Published

I am about to start going to school to become an LVN. Is it ok to be shy during school and after I graduate or should I try to talk more to people and make more friends in school?

:o

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

there are people who are social and there are people who are shy . . . dh is social and i'm shy. we're both nurses. i will say that people who are social or have the gift of gab usually have a far easier time of it. if you can chat up a storm, usually people get to know you faster and people who are fun to talk to are popular. while it may or may not be fair, preceptors and managers seem to give people they like a lot more slack than they give people they don't like. i've seen people make some enormous mistakes and keep their jobs because people like them.

dh says that to be shy is to be selfish because you're putting your feelings of shyness ahead of the other person. i'm not sure it's as cut and dried as that. i will say that everyone in our institution knows him, and patients, physicians and staff mostly know me as "mr. vee's wife."

but to answer your question directly, it's ok to be a shy nurse. you're just going to have to work harder at some aspects of the job than other people will have to.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I was not always shy. I guess with the depression of not being able to find any job for over 1 year really made me more depressed and socially shy.

Hopefully when I start going to school I can just snap out of it :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Oncology.

First of all, I'm a nursing student in my 4th semester of a BSN program. Congrats on being accepted!

Don't be fake. Being fake is a lot worse than being shy. Be yourself. Learn how to therapeutically communicate with your patients. I am not a shy person, but I'm a blunt person. I've learned to reel in the bluntness, but I use it to my advantage by being straightforward and honest with patients and educating them when I can. Being shy isn't a bad thing - it means that you probably are a fantastic listener. One of the things you'll come to discover is that listening to patients is so important, and something that many nurses don't do enough. It's a mutually beneficial experience when you listen to your patient - you learn about them, and they are able to open up and express their feelings.

Making friends in nursing school is up to you, but it will benefit you when you need a hand in clinicals with difficult patients, the notes from lecture when you were sick, a study group, or even just a shoulder to lean on after a bad test or bad day in the hospital. I will say that no one in my nursing class, even after almost 2 years together, is so close to me that I would consider them to be a good friend that I could depend on to be there for me at 3 am or anything. However, I have plenty of great friends in the program who I know will send me their recorded lecture when I'm sick, bring me an extra saline flush when I'm stuck in an isolation room, eat lunch with me, or give me kind words when I'm struggling or down on myself. That's so important, and it will be important in your career in the real world as well, so I would encourage you to be open to making friends. Don't expect to find your next best friend in the classroom, but do be open to working with your peers, including being there for them as well as using them as a support system for all things nursing related.

Good luck! You'll be fine. Never be unwilling to learn or ask questions, and you'll be great.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I too was a basically shy person. Due to the job requirements, you will be forced to overcome that shyness. You will need to interact with many people to perform your patient care.

Remember, you are not speaking up for yourself, but your patient.

I am hearing that you are depressed, that will definitely impact your ability to communicate effectively.

PLEASE, get some assistance from your school counselors. You cannot, "just snap out "of shyness and depression.

We all want you to succeed Bear, but trust me, you will need some assistance.

You deserve it !

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Aspiring for a CCRN.

Hi, BearCare. :D

What Ruby Vee said is absolutely true. Some people will always shine more brightly in social settings than others. Whether we like it or not, people are drawn to those elusive elements of sociability. Having said that, I'd like to share with you what has worked for me.

I believe that the energy one exudes has more profound influence on others than simply being sociable/possessing the gift of gab. Even if you are a person of a few words, if you say them with conviction and an affirmative smile, they will be responsive. I sympathize with your situation, as many of us have been in a similar predicament at least once in our lifetime.

If this can be of any help, here is what I often do when I utterly feel downright hopeless and helpless about a situation. I put on a smile and maintain that for a few seconds. I often look in the mirror when I do this. That smile is not for anyone else but to lift my spirits up, that I can pull through this, just as I've pulled through others. If I am not whole and well, it is very difficult to concentrate on tasks, caring for others, or find joy in smaller, less grandiose things in life. I am very valuable to me that the first person I smile at for that day is always me. :specs: If I'm feeling auspicious, the rest of the day proceeds smoothly and seamlessly. Even if I face a few obstacles for that day, I am better prepared because I have a conviction that I can certainly overcome them.

When you have a chance, please try it out. Another tip is when you see someone, as you approach that person, form a smile around your lips and soften your countenance (smile with your eyes as well). It can be directed toward a perfect stranger or an acquaintance. I know, being shy and feeling down, it is difficult. But, remember, that smile can be for yourself. For whom it is intended is only for you to know, and what the person sees is their portion to keep. It is this positive projection of self that people respond to, and you don't necessarily have to possess the gift of gab. I belive that people are drawn to what they would like to feel for themselves.

I hope that your day gets better and better, and good luck in your studies! And, always dream big and aim high! The process of trying your darnedest best is sometimes more rewarding than the outcome itself. :cheers:

Best regards,

Shaas

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.

I think one's shyness can make them a target for the "bully" nurse. I wasn't really shy but a little quiet, same thing? Maybe. I feel like it put a huge target on my back. Needless to say, it didn't take long for me to get out of this so called shyness and grow what we call "thick skin."

In a nutshell, a nurse must be assertive, IMO. Good luck.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hi CareBear. I used to be very timid. However, as nurses we are required to be patient advocates. I think that my passion for caring for my patients has caused me to grow as a person and as a nurse. We can't be timid when it comes to standing up for our patients, i.e., questioning a doctor's order (pt's allergic to med), etc. We're also educators of our pts. Developing our people skills is an important part of nursing. Since you haven't found a job, maybe you'd consider volunteer work at a hospital or hospice to sharpen your people skills and nudge you out of your comfort zone a bit. If you feel depressed or have social anxiety, you should see your doctor to discuss diagnosis and treatment. As nurses, it's also vital to take care of ourselves. Best wishes to you in your nursing career.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Some nurses are extroverts (like my husband - an ICU nurse), some introverts (me). I don't see much point in just talking for the sake of talking; I hate small talk. However, I interact with my patients, their families, and other professionals (doctors, case managers, etc.) just fine. I have rarely had a problem with patients or their families (and the ones I had problems with - it had nothing to do with being introverted or extroverted).

I do have to say that it is probably more difficult being an introvert in nursing (and probably in other professions as well). Why? Some reasons: We don't give empty compliments (aka brown nosing) well, if at all; the small talk we don't like is part of networking; being quiet/shy/introverted is often misunderstood as being arrogant/aloof/not interested in others.

That said - don't let it stop you from pursuing nursing, if that's what you truly want. There is so much variety in nursing, and some nurses have little if any interaction with patients or other people (it that's something you don't want; but don't assume that you don't until you see for yourself!)

Best of luck to you,

DeLana

P.S. Please see an MD if you still have symptoms of depression.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Cardiac.

BearCare- I'm shy too, but I have a "work personality" where I'm more outgoing than I typically am because of having to meet strangers and care for them in a professional but intimate fashion. I have to gear myself up a little, I get butterflies still (4 years nursing, and yes, I'm unemployed too so that's a downer but Hey). Be yourself, you don't have to change but you do have to adapt to meet the needs of your patients, good communication and paying attention to the nonverbal signals and symptoms will help you be a safer health care provider.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Family Practice, Urgent Care, Cardiac Ca.

Frankly, I find nurses that are soft-spoken refreshing...a nice change from the loud "Hey sweetie, Ima' be your nurse today, mmmmmmmmm'kay?" :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.
Frankly, I find nurses that are soft-spoken refreshing...a nice change from the loud "Hey sweetie, Ima' be your nurse today, mmmmmmmmm'kay?" :)

Well ain't that the truth :smokin:. Makes me want to ask if her sister works down at Bob Evans because that server down there drives me nuts too! :lol2:

To the OP..I tend to be an introvert by nature (or choice - not sure). But, on the other hand, I have no problem "turning it on" when I am at work. It just comes out of me from somewhere and it has grown stronger with time. I have no difficulty dealing with a strong willed MD, and overbearing family member, etc. My Mom stopped by work one day and was patiently waiting for me in the hallway while I finished a conversation with a MD. I didn't even realize she was standing there. She made a comment how amazed she was with my attitude and the ability to speak right up.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion