Is nursing hard on a marriage?

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Is nursing hard on a marriage, specifically the work hours? Is the divorce rate high in nursing?

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I can see where it could be, what with 12 hour shifts, mandatory overtime, and working weekends/holidays. However, I refuse to work 12 hour shifts, and I only work positions that don't require overtime, weekend, or holiday hours. So it's not an issue for mine.

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Specializes in NICU.

Nursing is hard on a marriage if you let it be. Like any marriage, it takes lots of hard work and selflessness on both ends to make it work.

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

each spouse has to be flexible. But that is true in any relationship. Can't be 50-50. Each has to give 100%

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My wife is a nurse and I start nursing school in 5 weeks. Anything can be hard on a marriage if you let it be.

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Life is hard on a marriage. Nursing is no worse than ANY other profession (or the stress of unemployment). If nursing breaks your marriage, it's not the profession/hours/pay/weekends that are to blame.

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I ditto the others, anything can be hard on a marriage. It's not an easy feat, staying married. Life will always throw curve balls at you, you have to learn to roll with the punches and work with or around them.

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I think it is easier if both people work in medicine as you understand the life better, but all marriages face challenges. .

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Nurses tend to be the kind of people who take responsibility for the relationship, so any marriage with an uneven balance of power and respect is more vulnerable to further imbalance when the challenge of work hours gets tossed into the mix. We also often get paid less than our spouses, so that sometimes interjects another point of disagreement.

If you and your spouse are true partners who don't care who does the house and child work so long as it gets done, don't care who brings in the money because it goes in the common pot, and realizes that shift work goes with the territory as part of the present sacrifice for greater good in the future, then your marriage will be fine. If not, make a conscious joint decision to keep lines of communication very open so resentments never have a chance to set roots and grow. Make an explicit commitment to be fair -- and by this I do not mean, "I make more money so it's fair that I decide where it gets spent." That is not fairness in terms of the relationship.

Make an explicit plan that if your problems ever seem like they aren't being resolved to everyone's satisfaction that you will seek professional help in resolving them right away. Do this before positions harden and resentments flourish and you will be satisfied with the growth opportunity it presents, and your marriage will be stronger for it. Let it go, hope that things will get better when X, Y, or Z happens or stops happening, and you will not be happy. Hope is not a plan. Any marriage requires real work to make it as excellent as it can be.

If this all sounds not very nursing specific, that's because it isn't nursing-specific. Still works, though.

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Specializes in Med-surge, hospice, LTC, tele, rehab.

My family knows that I am a nurse and that some weekend work, holiday work, and odd hours just go with the territory. They respect it and we work around it. Maybe we have to have our Christmas celebration the day before or after. That's just part of having a nurse in the family... or a doctor, pharmacist, police officer in the family, etc. If people love you, they respect and accept it.

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Specializes in Rehab, critical care.

Yes. To the first question. Though I have a good husband who knows nursing sacrifices time we have together, but as he says, "You're doing good work, and the patients need you." So, if you have a good man (woman), you're good. Selfish man or woman? Probably not so good.

Night shift was harder on our marriage since I was always tired, and he always got "leftover" me. We made the best of it, and now appreciate the time we do have together now that I work days. We always appreciated what small amount of time we had together when I worked nights, as well. It's all perspective, and the spouse you have, as well.

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Specializes in Psych, Hosp, and LTC.

Married 21 years to a wonderful man. If the foundation of your marriage is strong then nothing will shake it. The prior responses are correct in that nursing itself is not hard on a marriage, life is hard on a marriage if you let it be. Just take time to love one another and everything else will work itself out.

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