You know your a nurse if........

  1. [font=book antiqua]you know your a nurse
    [font=book antiqua][font=book antiqua] if...
    [font=book antiqua][color=#04179f][font='book antiqua']
    [font='book antiqua']did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell??
    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']it took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!


    you may be a nurse if...

    you believe that every patient needs tlc ...
    . thorazine ,lorazepamand compazine .

    [font=book antiqua][color=#04179f][color=#04179f][font='book antiqua']
    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley .
    [font=book antiqua][color=#04179f][color=#04179f][font='book antiqua']
    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you believe not all patients are annoying, some are unconscious.
    [font=book antiqua][color=#04179f][color=#04179f][font='book antiqua']
    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']your sense of humor gets more warped each year.
    [font=book antiqua][color=#04179f][color=#04179f][font='book antiqua']
    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you can only tell time by the 24 hr clock.
    [font=book antiqua][color=#04179f][color=#04179f][font='book antiqua']
    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']almost everything can seem humorous ...eventually.
    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you've told a confusedpatient that your name was that of your co- worker and to hollerif they need help.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']eating microwavepopcorn out of a cleanbedpan is perfectly normal.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago's water tank.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']when checking the level of a patients orientation you aren't sure of the answer.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you find yourself checking out other customers veinsin grocery waiting lines.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table on your dinner break and are not embarrassed when you wake up.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you avoid unhealthylooking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will dropnear you and you'll have to do cpr on your day off.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you throw a partyfor a coworker [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']and use a urinal(clean of course) as a lemon-aid pitcher and use a bed sheetfor a tablecloth.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you hate to get dressed in "real clothes" because scrubs are what you live in, and why can't they make jeans that comfortable.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']you often stay awake for 24+ hrs at a time when you work nights and realize you don't need alcohol or drugs

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']to hallucinate.....just lackof sleep.

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font=book antiqua][font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you pull over in some parking lotafter working nights because you are too tiredto drive home and wake [font='book antiqua']up to someone knocking on your window [font='book antiqua']thinking you have had a strokebecause you are passed outin your car and drooling

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']your fingerhas gone places you never thought possible.

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you have seen more penis'than any prostitute

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua'] you've sworn to have[font='book antiqua']"no code"[font='book antiqua'] tattooed on your chest

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you know the smell of different diarrheato identify it.

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you can tell the pharmacistmore about[font='book antiqua']themedication they are dispensing than they know.

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you refuse to watch erbecause it is too much like the real thing and it triggers flashbacks.

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you check the callerid on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work .

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you've been telling stories in a restaurantand made someone at another tablethrow up.

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you started nursing.

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua'] every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least

    [font='book antiqua']4 of them on you.

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you can intubate your friends at parties.

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you don't get excited about bloodunless it's your own.

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctoris more difficult".

    [font='book antiqua']

    [font='book antiqua']you've bastedyour thanksgiving turkey with a toomey syringe
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    About madwife2002, BSN, RN

    Joined: Jan '05; Posts: 10,271; Likes: 6,113
    Director of Nursing Services; from US
    Specialty: 26 year(s) of experience in RN, BSN, CHDN


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