Informal leader promoted to formal role.

SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN · Oct 14, 2015

Okay, folks, Anna Flaxis is getting into management. Lord help us all.
A little about me: I want to be liked, I hate conflict, I have high expectations of myself and others, and I've been known to bend the rules or ignore ones that I think are stupid.

Not to be mean, but people with the personality trait you have written do not last long. In fact, I know of two who have quit my facility in the past 4 months.

If you really want to make a career out of management, you will need to change yourself in many ways because all of the blunders you will make are related to: wanting to be liked, hating conflict, and deciding what rules are stupid and which ones are not without actually knowing how to negotiate politics well (newbies don't). Having high expectations is not bad on its face... but you need to be able to follow through with making things happen too... Basically you need to be influential, which takes hard work and time.....

With that said, congrats and welcome! :)

AJJKRN · Oct 14, 2015

Does your facility have leadership classes? They are often a great way to get tips on personal development (especially conflict resolution and staff expectations AKA crucial conversations) and to network with other leaders for support/guidance.

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2015

So. I don't meddle. I really thought I was giving good advice. I was trying to improve work flow and prevent divisive behavior. That beast has a mind of its own.

That's very helpful, thank you.

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2015

Not to be mean, but people with the personality trait you have written do not last long. In fact, I know of two who have quit my facility in the past 4 months.

Which is why I am surprised to be asked to do this (I didn't apply- I was approached). Maybe they're trying to get rid of me.

I jest.

Thank you for the advice.

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2015

Does your facility have leadership classes?

No. We are a small facility without many resources.

Hoosier_RN, MSN · Oct 14, 2015

As someone who's done management: know that you can't please everyone nor be liked by everyone. Just make sure you make the best decisions that you know how to, not what will be most popular. I agree with PP, that your current admitted traits are a recipe for disaster. Good luck. And remember: they can't eat you!

klone, MSN, RN · Oct 15, 2015

One resource I like is Quint Studer's Hardwiring Excellence : Purpose, Worthwhile Work, Making a Difference.

YES! LOVE that book. So very helpful.

Also, read some articles about "servant leadership" - it's a great philosophy, IMO.

klone, MSN, RN · Oct 15, 2015

A little about me: I want to be liked, I hate conflict, I have high expectations of myself and others, and I've been known to bend the rules or ignore ones that I think are stupid..

I don't think it's fair to beat you up about what you wrote here. I think the fact that you KNOW you have these traits and that they will be a weakness is a huge step. Most managers, hell, most PEOPLE, do not have that much self-awareness.

Hating conflict is a very common trait, so don't think you're alone in it, or that feeling that way won't make you an effective leader. People can hate conflict and still be able to have difficult conversations when necessary. It's a skill still in development for most people. Just keep working at it, and it will become easier in time. And you will probably still hate it. That's okay.

And P.S. - I could have written what you wrote about yourself that I quoted above. And in spite of that, I think I'm a pretty effective leader. So don't worry too much about it.

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Oct 15, 2015

^ Thank you. In addition to those traits, I'm also perceptive, open to feedback, conscientious, can admit when I'm wrong, and conduct myself with a high degree of personal integrity. I am completely aware that the traits in question above can make managing others more challenging-which is why I listed them. I'm glad to hear that they can be overcome.

As an RN, and in my life in general, analytical processes have never been a problem for me. It's always been interpersonal dynamics that have challenged me, but that doesn't mean I haven't been successful in this area. It simply means that I'm aware it's a weakness and that I continue to work to grow and improve.

In fact, much to my surprise, managers have consistently told me that I am a strong and effective communicator, and they don't agree with me that this is a weak area. Go figure.

Still all of the feedback here has been valuable- even the predictions of doom and gloom! :-)

klone, MSN, RN · Oct 15, 2015

[quote=Anna Flaxis;8741496It's always been interpersonal dynamics that have challenged me, but that doesn't mean I haven't been successful in this area. It simply means that I'm aware it's a weakness and that I continue to work to grow and improve.

In fact, much to my surprise, managers have consistently told me that I am a strong and effective communicator, and they don't agree with me that this is a weak area. Go figure.

I get it. I am a strong introvert, do not understand the value of small talk and chit-chat, and suspect I'm on the autism spectrum. The idea of going to parties terrifies me. However, when I joke to work colleagues that I'm "socially retarded" they all vehemently disagree. I then say "Well, I've learned to fake it well." :)

jrt4 · Oct 19, 2015

I get it. I am a strong introvert, do not understand the value of small talk and chit-chat, and suspect I'm on the autism spectrum. The idea of going to parties terrifies me. However, when I joke to work colleagues that I'm "socially retarded" they all vehemently disagree. I then say "Well, I've learned to fake it well." :)

Another introvert in management!!! We are far and few between but we can be incredibly successful as you hinted at with being immune to small talk and getting into peoples personal business. Like I tell my staff...I care about your health and your families health but much beyond that will be lost on me. They get it! When it really matters we really actually do care but I am sorry...your childs soccer game is really not important to me but I am glad its important to you.

Anyway...back to the subject at hand. I agree with many of the above posters. You seem enthusiastic at the opportunity which is the first step! I have stepped out of a bedside role and led people that I had worked side by side with...its a tough transition and it takes time. They need to respect you as a leader which most will in time. They will test you though so its important to be aware that you need to stick to the "company line". Some new leaders get caught up in playing the victim like HR or Admin is doing something to them every time something unpopular comes out. This ultimately will hinder your ability to lead as they will question your authority. Leadership is a lonely role at times...I would encourage you to find another leader in the organization that you can bounce ideas off of or just take some time to complain. We all need a little vent therapy sometimes... and you can't do it with your staff.