I think I'm professional, but now I'm not so sure, after I told some American friends that as a male nurse, I don't catheterize women.
'That's sexist' was one of the kinder comments, while one of the more rational comments said - "We are professionals. As long as we behave in a professional way, then we should all have to do the same job."
I naturally asked 'does this mean we're nurses first, and men/women second?' and they didn't give a concise answer.
Am I the only male who thinks that it is harder for a female patient as well as for a male nurse to do such an intimate procedure?
Am I the only nurse who thinks that gender does matter? What harm does it cause if I choose not to do a procedure when there are capable people around who could do it just as well, plus make it easier for the patient. As a male nurse, I need a female chaperone if doing such a procedure on a woman anyway, so why not make it easier for everyone and simply keep the male out of it altogether?
But what does being a "Professional" mean? From what I'm hearing from others it sounds like I am a sexless machine capable of doing it all because that is what I am paid to do. Instead I think of myself as a caring carer. I have my faults and biases. I make mistakes and I sometimes let my feelings help make my decisions. But I have a big heart and I do the job because I care first. I enjoy making people laugh when they're sick. I enjoy being able to make a difference in people's lives. I also do the job recognizing my faults, and if I ever think that my views/faults may jeopardize a patient, I know to get someone else to take over that patient's care. I guess I'm not a very successful Sexless Professional. But I can live with being called sexist and unprofessional, just because I sometimes refuse to do female catheterization. I'm sure there's a lot worse things I could be.
A couple of extra points to mention:
For the record, the female staff used to ask me to catheterize the men, and they'd do the same for my female patients, and we never had a problem.
Also it's strange, but apparently I'm allowed to catheterize little old ladies, but not young women. Sounds a bit ageist to me. Do the feelings of older people not matter as much as those of young people? Naturally I'd never contemplate such a procedure on a young woman.
I understand where you are coming from. Actually midwifery is coming back, thanks to people who are dedicated, but it has also been a predominately female profession since Bible times. What I meant by women and science is that 'personal' procedures are now more open to medical professionals, both men and women.
In summary, patient first. If an alternative option, such as a coworker swap is available, take it if that is possible. If not, be as professional as possible, get the job done, and do the best you can, no matter what others say.
What don't you get? You missed a pretty major point. Most patients don't speak up, because they're already nervous for many reason - being a patient, worry about their illness, shock at having a male nurse. But also, if you ask them if it's ok, suddenly you're both aware of it, and this can make it awkward as well. How can you not see this?
I have a question. Why are most, not all. But most of these responses sounding so aggressive? I mean, OP asked a few questions and I feel he went about asking them in a calm, and respectful manner. So, why not give your opinions the same way. Also, why are people assuming he is just being lazy and not wanting to do his job? I do agree that a nurse must be able to perform any procedure. I feel if OP is in a position where he cannot find a female to do the procedure he must do it himself. However I understand not feeling as comfortable performing the procedure. Yes, there are things we may not prefer to do and that's when I feel team work can be so wonderful. I will help you and you help me. Lastly, I respect his honesty. The procedure is considered private to some women(myself being one who would request a women). He didn't specify why he is uncomfortable with it, but as women I will say we do not know the risks men face in situations such as this. It may not be right, but as a female nurse I do not consider my pt may misinterpret anything while I catheterize him or her. As men, I am sure this must be something they must consider. We all want to protect our license and any risk of complaints. Maybe we just have different risks? Can we be compassionate to OP? After all, he is a fellow nurse just looking for advice:)
Do you have a damned clue what you're talking about? Do you have any idea of the problems we're dealing with in school, because of Media?
Do you know that last time we had a talk on relationships, with the 4th formers (14yr olds) I confiscated a phone of two boys who were giggling, and they were about to watch Media involving a goat.They thought it was harmless, they weren't even shocked.
Have you ever noticed a sudden change in a 10yr old girl, that no one picked up on, and when you bring it to the attention of teachers/parents, discover that on her phone, she'd stumbled across Media, and in two weeks of this, it had affected her. She's in counseling right now, and the parents are feeling so guilty because they thought the phone protected.
Do you know that those protections parents put in on online are useless, and kids effortlessly bypass them, 'hide my ass' is only one site of many they use to get around Media filters.
Your comments is insulting. I've worked with children for the last ten years, and I'm disgusted at you.
How would you handle a sex-ed talk, when the Russians believe gay people should be shot, while the Saudis want to hang them. I'm sure in your politically correct, non-judgmental world you'd somehow manage to get through to them, good luck.
My creep factor is through the roof right now and it takes a lot to creep me out.
Do you have a damned clue what you're talking about? Do you have any idea of the problems we're dealing with in school, because of Media?
Do you know that last time we had a talk on relationships, with the 4th formers (14yr olds) I confiscated a phone of two boys who were giggling, and they were about to watch Media involving a goat.They thought it was harmless, they weren't even shocked.
Have you ever noticed a sudden change in a 10yr old girl, that no one picked up on, and when you bring it to the attention of teachers/parents, discover that on her phone, she'd stumbled across Media, and in two weeks of this, it had affected her. She's in counseling right now, and the parents are feeling so guilty because they thought the phone protected.
Do you know that those protections parents put in on online are useless, and kids effortlessly bypass them, 'hide my ass' is only one site of many they use to get around Media filters.
Your comments is insulting. I've worked with children for the last ten years, and I'm disgusted at you.
How would you handle a sex-ed talk, when the Russians believe gay people should be shot, while the Saudis want to hang them. I'm sure in your politically correct, non-judgmental world you'd somehow manage to get through to them, good luck.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
What don't you get? You missed a pretty major point. Most patients don't speak up, because they're already nervous for many reason - being a patient, worry about their illness, shock at having a male nurse. But also, if you ask them if it's ok, suddenly you're both aware of it, and this can make it awkward as well. How can you not see this?
I think it's the vibe you must give off. If patients want a different nurse or doctor, they have always requested one.
As far as Media goes, it's always been around. Why are we making it such a big deal now? Because of the internet? Are we gonna patrol & guard everything? Good gracious. Not to mention teenagers hormones are out of control at that age.
Also, there is a difference between "I prefer not to clean poop, or take a sputum sample, "and a male uncomfortable with catheterizing a female. One could potentially carry a risk to the male and his license. Cleaning poop... While stinky and unpleasant does not.
- we all have procedures we don't like, and we all get on with them, but, where I've worked, the vast majority of women do not want a guy 'down there'. It seems American women are different, and that's fine.
You say this, but the rest of your post is talking about how it's apparently not fine.
- Many patients don't speak up if they're not happy with something - I see this all time about many procedures, and it's often hard enough getting a woman comfortable with a male nurse for washing etc let alone a cath. Asking if they mind, doesn't always mean that they don't mind, when they say it's 'ok'.
Apparently you're the only nurse on AN who can get patients to tell them what they really feel, and the rest of us are just guessing? Is that what this means?
- We need a chaperone; it's been very surprising to hear that many nurses here are shocked at this. Common sense that a guy doing it alone is extremely vulnerable. A practical solution that worked for me in the past was I'd do the guys, and the women would do my women. This didn't affect workload, and we all worked as a team, so there was no hassle.
You know, if this had been the totality of your point you probably would have gotten off easier. Instead, you talked about what you thought it all meant morally, and you got sandbagged. I'm down with efficiency. I'm not down with people trying to tell me they're morally superior.
The best way to turn a man off women, forever, is to ... put them down there.
What does it mean to "put them down there?" Maybe it's the lingo you hip, older nurses use that I don't understand. It sounds... questionable.
- This has never been a problem, but it looks like it might be a problem in America. Where I've worked, teamwork is what matters
Yeah, we don't do teamwork here. Only nurses who can get patients to tell them how they really feel know how to work as a team, and we just don't understand it here in the US. You are the Ned Flanders to our Homer Simpson.
WellThatsOod
897 Posts
I have so many smart aleck things I wish to say.