I'm a new nurse and I feel like quitting :'(

roser13, ASN, RN · Aug 19, 2016

I don't mean to be rude, but could you possibly put some paragraphs in there? I promise that you will gain so many more responders. Plus, you will demonstrate your competency in documentation skills.

loriangel14, RN · Aug 19, 2016

Deep breath. This to shall pass. You will gain experience and find your feet. You will survive this. You need to step up and do the best you can. The situation is not ideal but it's not the end of the world. Put on your big girl panties and deal.

ScientistSalarian · Aug 20, 2016

Okay, I ... think I got all that?

I'm sorry you're so miserable about all of this, it must have been hard to be thrown into a new shift without warning. Your night preceptor seems like he could definitely work on better communicating with you about your game plan, and steering you in the right direction when things need to get done.

That said, I feel like you might be taking this way too personally. It seems like the main issues he's having with you are time management and prioritization. The educator told you to talk to him; you say you already did twice but have you actually asked him for feedback? From your description those "talks" were just you telling him that you needed to be taking on as much as possible. You asked your manager to change your preceptor, but did you ever talk to him about any of this?

I love nursing I love talking to patients and I love to make them feel better. Ive always loved working with people but right now im starting to hate it. I hate rushing things and all this paperwork.

You ... you know "rushing things," and above all "all this paperwork" is pretty much the job in acute bedside nursing, right? It's great when you can take a minute and really check in with how your patient is doing emotionally, but that's just not going to be realistic most of the time on a med-surg unit where you apparently have 6-7 patients to care for.

You seem to be fixated on having a nurse glued to your side and walking you through every step, but you need to focus on prioritizing and working as efficiently as possible while becoming increasingly independent. Talk to your preceptor, don't be afraid to ask the other nurses questions when you need to, and please, I implore you, add some paragraph breaks.

Marisette, BSN, RN · Aug 20, 2016

I'm sorry your going through this. Don't give up. It's not possible to learn everything during orientation, even with an excellent preceptor. Your obviosly capable of doing this. You completed nursing school and past NCLEX, so don't let anyone make you feel that this is something you can't do. Most if not all, new graduate nurses experience difficulty during the first year of nursing. The more nursing you do, the more skilled you will become. It will take about a year for you to be comfortable in your new role. My timetable, no official rules.

Nurses work in some challenging and stressful environments. I suspect it's due to the nature of the work. We are responsible for the well being and lives of people. Sometimes, coworkers, focus more on patient needs and care or just getting their job done for the night, NOT the new orientee. You will have to fill in the missing pieces. Think of this time as nursing boot camp. Your goal is to learn and survive the challange. Make up your mind to forget the hurtful feeling or feeling that this is not fair. You can vent on allnurses or to friends or family. But don't do this at work and don't gossip to coworkers abour your preceptor. It will get around and make things more difficult for you. Keep a pocket size notebook of questions you have during the day, procedures you need more detail about. Look up procedures or google them, or search you tube after your home. Of course it's not ideal, and it's not your policy and procedure manual, but it will help. Remember, it's boot camp. Your just doing your best to survive this time until you can move to your comfort zone.

Your preceptor sounds like he is in a hurry to complete things, so he won't stop to meet your needs. Try approaching him with questions when things are quieter or have calmed down. Ask him, "can we review this procedure towards the end of the shift, or at 1 AM when things have settled down". Don't expect him to spoon feed you because he may not be that type of person. Rather ask specific questions, " How do YOU do.... Do YOU suggest that I ..... " There are preceptors that are nurturing, and helpful. But when you get a bad one, understand it may not be about you. It may be their style, personality, or problem. Your employer does not appear interested in adjusting the behavior of your preceptor, so you may have to ignore some of the behavior. But don't be afraid to ask questions. When your recieve critique for poor performance, like the time you were informed that you were too slow, ask him what tips he can offer to decrease the time it took to do whatever. Ask "How would you do it", "will you observe me...", "When do you have time to ..." "How do you organize your day". You will make mistakes and you will feel badly, but you need to get up, dust yourself, forget the bad feeling, and move on to the next task. Before each shift, perhaps at home, make mental notes of your plan at work. Such as "if I make a mistake, acknowledge, correct, dust myself off, forget the bad feeling, move on to the next task". What if you embarass yourself in front of patient's, coworkers, physicians? Smile and forget it, let the feeling go. No one is immune to embarrasing moments. Put the ego aside.

Pursuing advance education in informatics, is a great idea. But you have accomplished much already, and there is no reason you can't work in nursing while you pursue future endeavers. You can do both. Put feelings aside, adjust your learning style to compensate for your preceptors deficiencies. Can you see yourself one year from today? It will be better. And if a career in nursing does not turn out to be what is best for you, the experience you get in nursing now, will get you on a roll for better and bigger things in the future. Your family need not worry. They should be proud. You are in nursing boot camp, on your way to success.

Sage611 · Aug 20, 2016

I'm sorry your going through this. Don't give up. It's not possible to learn everything during orientation, even with an excellent preceptor. Your obviosly capable of doing this. You completed nursing school and past NCLEX, so don't let anyone make you feel that this is something you can't do. Most if not all, new graduate nurses experience difficulty during the first year of nursing. The more nursing you do, the more skilled you will become. It will take about a year for you to be comfortable in your new role. My timetable, no official rules.
Nurses work in some challenging and stressful environments. I suspect it's due to the nature of the work. We are responsible for the well being and lives of people. Sometimes, coworkers, focus more on patient needs and care or just getting their job done for the night, NOT the new orientee. You will have to fill in the missing pieces. Think of this time as nursing boot camp. Your goal is to learn and survive the challange. Make up your mind to forget the hurtful feeling or feeling that this is not fair. You can vent on allnurses or to friends or family. But don't do this at work and don't gossip to coworkers abour your preceptor. It will get around and make things more difficult for you. Keep a pocket size notebook of questions you have during the day, procedures you need more detail about. Look up procedures or google them, or search you tube after your home. Of course it's not ideal, and it's not your policy and procedure manual, but it will help. Remember, it's boot camp. Your just doing your best to survive this time until you can move to your comfort zone.
Your preceptor sounds like he is in a hurry to complete things, so he won't stop to meet your needs. Try approaching him with questions when things are quieter or have calmed down. Ask him, "can we review this procedure towards the end of the shift, or at 1 AM when things have settled down". Don't expect him to spoon feed you because he may not be that type of person. Rather ask specific questions, " How do YOU do.... Do YOU suggest that I ..... " There are preceptors that are nurturing, and helpful. But when you get a bad one, understand it may not be about you. It may be their style, personality, or problem. Your employer does not appear interested in adjusting the behavior of your preceptor, so you may have to ignore some of the behavior. But don't be afraid to ask questions. When your recieve critique for poor performance, like the time you were informed that you were too slow, ask him what tips he can offer to decrease the time it took to do whatever. Ask "How would you do it", "will you observe me...", "When do you have time to ..." "How do you organize your day". You will make mistakes and you will feel badly, but you need to get up, dust yourself, forget the bad feeling, and move on to the next task. Before each shift, perhaps at home, make mental notes of your plan at work. Such as "if I make a mistake, acknowledge, correct, dust myself off, forget the bad feeling, move on to the next task". What if you embarass yourself in front of patient's, coworkers, physicians? Smile and forget it, let the feeling go. No one is immune to embarrasing moments. Put the ego aside.
Pursuing advance education in informatics, is a great idea. But you have accomplished much already, and there is no reason you can't work in nursing while you pursue future endeavers. You can do both. Put feelings aside, adjust your learning style to compensate for your preceptors deficiencies. Can you see yourself one year from today? It will be better. And if a career in nursing does not turn out to be what is best for you, the experience you get in nursing now, will get you on a roll for better and bigger things in the future. Your family need not worry. They should be proud. You are in nursing boot camp, on your way to success.

What an encouraging post. Good sound advice too.

NurseGee2016 · Aug 20, 2016

Thank you so much for the advice. I really do appreciate it.

I honestly am trying very hard to be positive. But my problem is I am sensitive and i am a hands on person.

Unfortunately, my preceptor likes to be control and finish all his tasks as soon as possible. I know its nothing personal, I just wish he understood that I am new and i cant be as fast as him.

After bringing up my concern about my training to my manager, I really thought she was going to change my preceptor instead she said "she doesn't have anybody else to train me". And I jist couldn't believe it.

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Aug 20, 2016

Um, I hate to be the bad news bearer but I think your night preceptor is the rule not the exception, unfortunately. Sad, but true, and it's mostly because of the system. If I can't even clock out for lunch because I am so busy how in the HECK am I supposed to hold a new grads hand who, no doubt, is slower than me? Training has to be done for new nurses but honestly I don't know how those preceptors do it efficiently or even AT ALL with how crazed the hospital is.

I'm sorry it is like this for you. For me it was the same except 10 different preceptors or varying rudeness, 6 different floors, and 3 different hospitals as a "new grad float". You just have to soak in what you can, try to put the missing pieces together yourself, and GO!.........I won't deny that I have lingering problems from a complicated orientation but I think they stem mostly (as it sounds for you) from caring too much with too little time. That is also the rule rather than the exception (some more bad news, lol)

And try and take lots of good care of yourself on your days off when you are constantly worrying about your next day at work.

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Aug 20, 2016

Thank you so much for the advice. I really do appreciate it.
I honestly am trying very hard to be positive. But my problem is I am sensitive and i am a hands on person.
Unfortunately, my preceptor likes to be control and finish all his tasks as soon as possible. I know its nothing personal, I just wish he understood that I am new and i cant be as fast as him.
After bringing up my concern about my training to my manager, I really thought she was going to change my preceptor instead she said "she doesn't have anybody else to train me". And I jist couldn't believe it.

If you catch on really quick and end up taking patients competently he will be more helpful because HE WILL NOW HAVE TIME. lol. But for you to be truly helpful and not "miss pieces" of the picture you'd have to take total care of pt which would include all Dr conversation, accurate documentation, skills....

Ruby Vee, BSN · Aug 20, 2016

Thank you so much for the advice. I really do appreciate it.
I honestly am trying very hard to be positive. But my problem is I am sensitive and i am a hands on person.
Unfortunately, my preceptor likes to be control and finish all his tasks as soon as possible. I know its nothing personal, I just wish he understood that I am new and i cant be as fast as him.
After bringing up my concern about my training to my manager, I really thought she was going to change my preceptor instead she said "she doesn't have anybody else to train me". And I jist couldn't believe it.

Not every preceptor is good at precepting. Sometimes you get the preceptor who has never precepted before, who is burned out on precepting, or whose teaching style is the opposite of your preferred learning style. It's up to YOU to adjust because as you've found out, there often are not enough competent preceptors to go around.

Your training is not the biggest priority here; the patient is. If the assignment is overwhelming the preceptor will, quite rightly, concentrate on the patients. It is not all about you.

So you've gone to your preceptor and complained about his style, and you've gone to the manager to complain about your preceptor. Have you tried LISTENING to either of them? Have you asked for feedback about how they see your strengths and weaknesses and what they think you need to work on?

You are right in that being sensitive is a problem. There's no room for sensitive in the workplace. Get over it. TALK to your preceptor, and be prepared to listen. So his teaching style isn't meeting your learning needs. You're going to need to adjust.

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/what-to-expect-991973.html

Editorial Team / Admin · Aug 21, 2016

Not every preceptor is good at precepting. Sometimes you get the preceptor who has never precepted before, who is burned out on precepting, or whose teaching style is the opposite of your preferred learning style. It's up to YOU to adjust because as you've found out, there often are not enough competent preceptors to go around.

Exactly. Just ran into one of these scenarios myself as a preceptor. My teaching style and the new nurse's learning style didn't match at all. Fortunately, there was another preceptor who took over whose teaching style does match the orientee's needs. It's not always just about the new hire.

rescueninja1987 · Aug 21, 2016

It's gonna be OK, I promise. I have been in your shoes before, and let me just tell you, we have all felt like quitting before, and pretty much all of us have felt overwhelmed as new nurses before. My advice would be to just jump in there and learn all you can, and (I can't emphasize this next part enough) find some healthy ways to relax and not think about it on your days off. The truth is, you're experiencing a lot of the harsh realities of nursing and it will take some time to adjust. After orientation, you will get into your rhythm, you'll figure out who you can go to when you aren't sure what to do next, and everything will be fine. Once you become confident in your skills and you find your niche, you'll be glad you stuck it out.