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I'm so embarrassed

Nurses   (9,070 Views 39 Comments)
by nursingishard nursingishard (New Member) New Member

1,832 Visitors; 35 Posts

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Yesterday, I had a patient who looked so much like my ex-big-crush. And, I was blushing all over my face when I was giving him a bath. I feel horrible. It was non-professional. I just wanted to have a hole and bury myself in there!!!! What's worse? He made me give him a bath twice during my 12-hour shift. I didn't know I could have told him that I don't give a bath twice. I think he sensed that I was ... so, he took advantage of that. I was too noob a tech!!! Worse, other nurses sensed that. Even tho they don't say a thing, I know they knew that. I feel horrible. Plus, I was hyper-excited today coming to work because I learned that my clinical site for my coming rotation in school is going to be an awesome place. The nurses look at me very strangely. I'm afraid they may think that I was becoming hyper-excited because of the incident. I just wanted to die!!!!

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dthfytr has 30 years experience as a ADN, LPN, LVN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-I and works as a Disabled.

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Next time a similar situation arises, have you learned from this a better way to handle it?

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2 Likes; 17 Articles; 31,011 Visitors; 4,167 Posts

I can't say for sure this is happening, but much of the time when we're certain something we've done is a big deal on other people's radar, we may only be a brief little blip. We're the ones obsessing and fearing what others think of us. Often, they give it a passing thought, if that, and move on.

If someone brings it up, laugh at yourself. That takes the sting right out of the situation. Say, "Silly me," and act as if you are a bit amused with yourself for getting all flustered. Then turn things around and ask if anyone else has gone through something similar and would like to give you any tips.

All this says about you is that you're human. Hang in there. And from now on, one bath to a customer. And that's only if they can't bathe themselves.

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233 Likes; 3 Followers; 95,234 Visitors; 36,400 Posts

The places where I've worked the customers were lucky to get one bath, at all, or even part of a bath. Hope you did not neglect care to another assigned patient to give the second bath. Otherwise, laugh it off. Everybody does something like this once in awhile.

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Davey Do has 35 years experience and works as a Behavioral Health RN.

1,901 Likes; 13 Followers; 71,923 Visitors; 5,785 Posts

Well, nursingishard,

you are a human being. With human feelings. AND, you are attempting to deal with your discomfort. You're doing this through admitting it, airing it out, and seeking advice.

However. Two baths in one shift? That may indicate an inability to control your actions. Or obsessive-compulsive behavior. Whether it be on your part or the part of the patient is unknown.

Keep monitoring those behaviors. And continue to seek enlightenment.

Dave

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tyvin works as a RN Hospice Consierge Services.

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Really; two baths?

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Hmmm, I think you should ask yourself if you would have given a second bath to any patient who asked. If the answer to that question skews toward no then you might want to examine your own motives in acceding to the patient's request. Perhaps your own unresolved feelings about the crush man were playing out in this situation. There are some elements to this scenario that are disturbing and even though the patient may have had his own titillating motives in requesting a second bath, it may also be that he has an obsessive/compulsive streak about cleanliness and being in the germ-filled hospital environment was very upsetting to him. It sounds like you put your own interpretation of his motives on the situation out of your own need to role-play a scenario with your crush man in which he wants you. You are in control by virtue of your job as the nurse and have situational power over him, but by allowing him to request something that is "naughty" you cede a safe portion of that control to him which is emotionally titillating to you. What man really wants to engage in arousing situations when they are in the hospital? Maybe a tiny percentage, and maybe this man was one, more more likely there was some legitimate non-titillating reason he wanted another bath that should engage your feelings of compassion as opposed to setting off fantasy. Ultimately I think you should be more concerned about making sure that your own emotional needs do not affect your professional judgment as opposed being concerned about whether or not other nurses noticed/judged you for unusual behavior. If I have read W-A-Y too much into your post I apologize, but the very fact that you were concerned that your hyper-excitement would be perceived as hyper-excitement over the second bath leads me to believe that it has had a lot more meaning to you than is healthy.

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OttawaRPN has 5 years experience.

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Yikes...

I'm a little creeped out by the 2-bath thing myself, and wondering if there was some underlying fantasy preoccupation here with either one, or both, parties involved. If so, that is just plain disgusting.

What exactly was the reason he couldn't bathe himself, did both his arms fall off?

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41 Likes; 10,235 Visitors; 1,372 Posts

Concerned about two things... 1) You imply his request had inappropriate undertones, and because of your feelings for the other man, you were unable to control yourself and conceded to it. 2) As an aide, I often was pressed for time to give my patients one bath, let alone two. Did you sacrifice care for your other patients to do this?

You sound pretty young, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. In the future, you really need to know how to set limits on your patients and yourself. Some male patients will try to take advantage of young, inexperienced aides. If you feel like ANYthing inappropriate is going down, you can't ignore it. Always let the person do as much as they can for him or her self, especially when washing the periarea. If that doesn't work, get another person in to help you.

This could have turned out pretty bad for you and damaged your beginning career. I hope you learned from it.... not that you were truly "hyperexcited" about what happened...

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Sparrowhawk works as a um..nurse??.

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I kinda agree..why would you agree to give him a second bath? I mean..unless he got covered in puke or blood or poop or something..then well yeah I'd want a second bath too...but I do agree..I think you should sit back and examine your motives a bit..no offense. No one "makes" you give them a bath..you politely say, "Sir, you've had your bath today, and I have to take care of some other patients today....if you really feel you need one, I can speak with my nurse and she will speak with you" Especially if he reminded you of someone and noticed your discomfort. You sound young, whether you are or not..but you will learn. You *have* to be careful and professional at all times. My aides don't have time to give all their baths/showers in one shift..let alone two.......so. yeah.

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canesdukegirl has 14 years experience and works as a OR nursing.

2 Likes; 8 Articles; 36,789 Visitors; 2,543 Posts

I agree with Miranda. I think that you are being paranoid in the reactions of the nurses. Unless you finished up the bath(s) and came skipping into the nurses station singing "What a Wonderful World", I doubt they were even aware of your embarrassment. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves and what they have to do during their shift to stop and ponder your demeanor. Let it go.

As for the dude asking you to bathe him twice (he "made" you?), I would have handed him a washcloth the second time and given him some patient education about ADLs.

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1,832 Visitors; 35 Posts

Seriously, I've always been doing more than I have to. I gave a whole cart of water for patient's family members along with ice creams and snacks, etc. I've always done more than what I have to. When my pt hit me, it was my fault. It's not until my nurse came in the room and said to my patient that it was inappropriate for her to hit me that I realize that patient cannot hit me. I think I've been a martyr. When my pt scolded me for no reasons, I just cried. When an old man tried to give me his engagement words, I just became silent and sobbing. And, I went home and I hated myself because I'm just a tech. That's why he dared to say his stupid and ignorant engagement words to me. I've been depreciated. I didn't know that I can say "no" to my customers. I've learned that I can say "no" to not only customers but also their family members. I think I've had enough of self-criticisms. I'm dealing with everything in my life right now: I'm living alone in a place where friends are too busy to be friends, all my friends are in the East, and not in the health care field, nursing school is so demanding. I thank you all for your support.

about the my pt. He said he itchy and wet all over his body and he couldn't move his body when I assessed his musculoskeletal system. He begged me for another bath. Yet, he could move when my nurse was there. I didn't know that. My nurse didn't tell me that he could move until I reported to her that I had given him 2 baths.

Yes. I was my fault to let this guy control me. I'll be in control again.

Yes. I tried to laugh it off by becoming super excited (plus the fact that I've just learned that my new clinical site is at a super nice place) yesterday. Hopefully, it had gone away. But then when I tried to laugh it off so much, it turned out that it was unusual.

I plan to judge whether I'm going to do anything for anyone even my patient.

Now, I say no to any criticisms. I have to stop criticize myself. I mean I will keep criticizing my behaviors but not myself. And, I need to appreciate myself and what I've done. I've been very good to patients. No patients have ever complained of my service. A few request seeing me when they're back. Some even thank me profusively. I think I'm good enough. This is just one black spot in so many tons of good things that I've done.

Thank you :)

Edited by nursingishard

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