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ICU Residency ; How I got let go.

MICU   (256 Views | 3 Replies)
by Acetorres Acetorres (New) New Student

128 Profile Views; 9 Posts

Where do I begin?

I accepted a position at a trauma 1 center as a trauma/surgical ICU new grad. I failed miserably. I had a very difficult time adjusting to the fast pace environment. I had 4 preceptors in less than 4 months. I was task-oriented, anxious, sleep-deprived, and felt very incompetent. "Strong personalities" that is what my nurse educator would tell us about the staff on this floor. There were nurses who could see I was struggling and helped me tremendously. Then there were others who looked at me with such disappointment. I had meetings every week to discuss my progress (or lack thereof). Once a week; I sat in front of my preceptor, educator, and director of nursing; and they would point out what I was doing wrong, how unsafe I was to my patients, and I won't disagree, I was unsafe. I could tell I was going to be let go; I could feel it coming. The following week; I had yet another meeting. This time with an additional member; the director of nursing education or whatever. This meeting was to address whether I would be fired or transferred. This was my 6 day in a row I worked; thanks to my preceptor for not giving me the heads-up. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Anyway, back to the meeting, they were all talking and I was zoned out. I just wanted them to tell me; to never come back or that I could start a new position. I was tired of the critiques, I felt I really gave it my all, and it wasn't enough. I didn't meet their expectations; I get it. ICU is for the thick skin. The director looked at me straight in the eyes and asked me "Honey, you cannot handle two patients on this floor if we give you a position on a Med-Surg floor, what makes you think you could handle 4-5 patients?" " Don't you think maybe nursing isn't the career for you?" It took everything in me not to cry in front of them. Especially from being so exhausted.  To be completely honest; this is probably the first time in my life that someone has said something that hit me to my core. A first-generation college student, the very first in my family to even graduate high school. Nursing is what I want to do and I have never regretted my decision in choosing this field. Then this 'director' who doesn't know anything about me, is questioning my career choice. I am not sure what her goal was; however, this failure has only taught me to keep working harder. I am a neuro ICU nurse and hope to land a trauma ICU job in the future. Please don't let anyone make you feel discouraged. Strive for the best, set high goals for yourself. Fail a hundred times if you have to and learn something every single time. Things have been better. 

-peace 

 

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1 Post; 12 Profile Views

Hi - thank you for sharing your story. 

I was wondering why specifically your experience in the residency was so negative? And what would you have done differently if you could do it again? 

I am a soon-to-be new grad hoping to land a job in an ICU and would love the insight. 

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dd2016 specializes in nursing.

8 Posts; 107 Profile Views

On 3/27/2020 at 11:56 AM, jedikiwi said:

Hi - thank you for sharing your story. 

I was wondering why specifically your experience in the residency was so negative? And what would you have done differently if you could do it again? 

I am a soon-to-be new grad hoping to land a job in an ICU and would love the insight. 

Hi! I'm also a soon to be new grad looking for get a job in an ICU but am having a tough time already. Where are you applying? I'm in new jersey!

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KR specializes in ICU, Agency, Travel, Pediatric Home Care, LTAC, Su.

291 Posts; 7,043 Profile Views

Do.not.let.the.haters.win! Nurses eating their young, their old, their this, their students, their that totally disgusts me! I started 20 years ago in a new  grad ICU internship program. By thd grace of God I survived, that, lots of prayers and having 5 years of EMS under my belt and I can remember those first days like it was yesterday. You will have "strong personalities" BULLIES in all areas of nursing, but ICU tends to have more. If it is your passion, dont ever give up! Prove them wrong! IDK if u have choices in a different hospital system, but I woulsnt want to work where even the Director of Educatipn is that awful. They failed u too, by not  being kind, by not mentioning the many positive things u have done and still do. Everyone told me to do a year of med/surg first. I wouls have never made it. Not my cupf of tea. Inhave a friend who started ICU with me, but got demoted to m/s. She aent on to get her Masters, become and Acute Care NP,  teach @UC Davis and manage on of their ICU units. Attitude is EVERYTHING! Iam not on here much, but my inbox is always open. Best of luck to all of you! One suggestion I have is subscribeto an online year membership con ed site and do as much relevant ICU CEU as possible, learn, learn , learn. Most memberships run $80-$110 but swveral companies are running specials thru tomorrow for like $40 for the year (CEUfast and elitehealthcare) are 2 I believe. Chase after those dreams and dont ever loose your compassion for your patients, coworkers, rookie nurses, and students, it will set u a part:) Online education won't teach u all, clinical hands on is really important too:)

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