I don't think I can do it!

lisabeth · Oct 30, 2006

I know you must really be struggling. I am sorry. I guess it is really hard to go through nursing school while having a family. I guess single life really does have it advantages and luckily for me, my daughter is a teenager and therefore very self sufficient. I guess it will take a lot of understanding on everyone's side, but assure your family it is only for a couple of years. That is harder said than done for a young child. I can only say I am sorry. I imagine others can give better advice than I can because I am not in that particular situation. Sorry I cant be of any help.

Dont give up yet. Good luck.

This is one long vent so no one will likely want to actually read it - I don't be offended if no one comments!
I'm really struggling guys. Struggling with Micro (and Psych but that's another issue) and will probably have to retake it, while the atomosphere at my full-time job is getting incredibly stressful and the commute (3 1/2 + hours a day) is getting worse every day. I'm getting perhaps 5 hours sleep a night which is not enough but I still can't seem to find enough time to study like I apparently should. My 10yo is creeping around the house trying not to make a sound because Daddy is telling her Mommy's stressed out. DH is trying to be supportive but is obviously feeling neglected because suddenly he wants more sex than normal and of course I'm so stressed that my sex drive is nill which is just making that issue worse. A lot worse. Add to it the fact that we're planning to leave the area after I'm done with school and the entire plan hinges on getting that RN. I feel like I just want to scream all the time, or just sleep for the rest of my life.
I've never been scared of science before but now I'm freaking at how much of it I have ahead of me. What if I'm a miserable nurse? What if I incur all this student loan debt and I suck and fail out of nursing school? What if I end up passing the boards but leave my marriage alongside the road to get there? Is this worth it? What happened to doing this for me, when did it become for the entire family? When did our entire future start riding on my academic shoulders?? :sofahider

arciedee · Oct 30, 2006

Wow DaughterofRuth, you sound incredibly stressed out and overwhelmed. If it looks like you are going to have to retake micro would you be able to drop it now? Perhaps taking that one thing off your plate and being able to focus only on the psych class will help. Also, how do you do your commute (drive, public transportation, car pool)? Can you squeeze study time in there? I take a bus to work and would use the commute time to study. Alternatively, if you carpool, you could perhaps use the days you aren't driving to study, and if you drive you could record the lectures (or make your own recordings) to play in the car.

Write your class schedule down for your family so that they know when you have tests/projects coming up. Tell them specifically what you need from them and work out a system it should be smoother for everyone. And try to schedule specific time for them only, i.e. Sunday afternoons are family time, every other Thursday evening is date night w/ hubby, etc. Letting them know that they are a priority should help to make everyone happier, plus the downtime with them will give you a much-needed mental break from school work.

You can do it! Juggling work, school, and family is extremely challenging and you should give yourself credit for taking the steps towards this goal. Good luck to you.

DaughterofRuth · Oct 30, 2006

I know you must really be struggling. I am sorry. I guess it is really hard to go through nursing school while having a family. I guess single life really does have it advantages and luckily for me, my daughter is a teenager and therefore very self sufficient. I guess it will take a lot of understanding on everyone's side, but assure your family it is only for a couple of years. That is harder said than done for a young child. I can only say I am sorry. I imagine others can give better advice than I can because I am not in that particular situation. Sorry I cant be of any help.
Dont give up yet. Good luck.

You've got to be the most supportive person on this board - everytime I post, you're always there. That's help enough - thanks :)

DaughterofRuth · Oct 30, 2006

Wow DaughterofRuth, you sound incredibly stressed out and overwhelmed. If it looks like you are going to have to retake micro would you be able to drop it now? Perhaps taking that one thing off your plate and being able to focus only on the psych class will help. Also, how do you do your commute (drive, public transportation, car pool)? Can you squeeze study time in there? I take a bus to work and would use the commute time to study. Alternatively, if you carpool, you could perhaps use the days you aren't driving to study, and if you drive you could record the lectures (or make your own recordings) to play in the car.
Write your class schedule down for your family so that they know when you have tests/projects coming up. Tell them specifically what you need from them and work out a system it should be smoother for everyone. And try to schedule specific time for them only, i.e. Sunday afternoons are family time, every other Thursday evening is date night w/ hubby, etc. Letting them know that they are a priority should help to make everyone happier, plus the downtime with them will give you a much-needed mental break from school work.
You can do it! Juggling work, school, and family is extremely challenging and you should give yourself credit for taking the steps towards this goal. Good luck to you.

Thanks for the vote of confidence! I'm embarassed that I put all of that out there but I guess I needed to let it fly. I wish I could drop Micro now but if I do I'll drop below the part-time threshhold and screw up my student loan status. Your ideas on commuting are good but unfortunately I drive by myself. I do have a digital recorder but technical probs have kept me from replaying lectures on my commute. Maybe I can sweet talk DH into helping me get those resolved, although singing along to loud music helps to keep me awake on the drive. I love your ideas about scheduling time with my family. As I have a Micro exam tonight, I should be able to take some time off from studying this weekend so we're planning some serious date time while DD is spending the weekend her my MIL. I'm hoping that will help with some of the relationship issues we're having.

Thank you again for the support - it means so much today :)

A.F.RN · Oct 30, 2006

I completely understand your feelings! When I finally decided on my major I only had 2 summer sessions and this fall semester to get my pre-req.s out of the way. I took English and Intro to Psych together then I had Microcomputer and Human growth and development together. Now I am taking A&P 1, Micro, History and Art Appreciation. I feel completely overwhelmed. My husband and son are needy for attention and I feel like my family's future depends on me doing this right! When I get to where you are at I take a day off, when I know I won't miss much, and I relax with my family. In the evening I try to spend at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted time with each family member. School is a sacrifice. Think of it as training for hectic times to come in your job. You will already have some type of stress release mechanism available to you. I am sure you can do this! Fix the things you can to help make it work easier for you. Good Luck and if you ever need a person to vent to remember me, I am in the same boat! :uhoh3:

Worthless_Nut · Oct 30, 2006

Wow, your plate is full, but first let's address all the what ifs. What if the world ends tomorrow and none of this will matter? Life is full of uncertainty and we have a choice to make, do we crawl back into our shell and let life pass us by because we are scared of "what if", or do we meet the challenges head on and do our best? So what if you fail, all of life is one big happy chance that we all take. What if you had made a lousy mother? Did that keep you from having a child? What if you really suck at being a wife, did that stop you from marrying? You can do this girl. Take a deep breath and evaluate what is going on in your life. If you fail the first time around, pick yourself up go at it again. There is no shame in failing, only in giving up. What stress can you get rid of? How can hubby and child help you? I study by using flashcards, maybe your 10 yr old can quiz you using flashcards. That way you both spend some time together, you benefit from being quizzed, and your child gets to see how important school and learning is to you.

Maybe hubby can take on some more responsibility also. Find someone you can study with, that also helps. Tell hubby that if he will just pitch in and do........., then the two of you can set aside friday night for ..........

Maybe what you need to do at the present time is take fewer classes and give yourself a chance to ease into all this madness. I feel for you hon and am here if you need to talk.:typing

lisabeth · Oct 30, 2006

I am so glad. I guess I lose track of what all I post, but support and encouragement is what this site is for, and so far, everyone has been just that to me too.

I do like to do whatever I can because it is hard on everyone, and we are all going through it. Some just have it much harder than others. I read in one of your other replies that you were embarrassed about spilling it all out, but dont be. How else can we help if we dont know. I will tell you what helps me some energy wise, and that is a good multi vitamin. I have a liquid vitamin/supplement that I have been taking. It is called Source of Life. I mix it in fruit juice. I also take lots of other supplements that stress can rob your body of. Find a good health store and get to know and trust someone. Ask around and see who others suggest. Take care of you. :)

You've got to be the most supportive person on this board - everytime I post, you're always there. That's help enough - thanks :)

DaughterofRuth · Oct 31, 2006

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling better today. I guess we all hit those low moments when we feel like chucking it all and going to live in a tent down by the river, eh? lol You're the best and I really appreciate it!! :loveya:

arciedee · Oct 31, 2006

Glad that you're feeling better. I think we all do reach those low points of "What am I doing this for anyway?!?!" And the best thing to do in those is to find some encouraging, supportive people to cheer you on and remind you that you can do it. Here's to a happier rest of the week!

Trauma Columnist · Oct 31, 2006

Please talk with your dh and daughter about your schedule. I always found that letting my family know when I was struggling helped. Please hang in there. Retake micro if you have to.